Your mum was the font
Whenever there was a baptism on the priest just showed her a photo of Darren Day and she was wetter than an otters pocket.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

Your mum would shove dock rope up her bear-mouth like cunt, get all the local men of the cloth to spunk their seed into her punched in cervix and then blort out those candles that burn for 40 days and nights.
She would produce them at such a rate that if she was doing a headstand people would think that it was the Titanic's maiden voyage due to all the thick black soot shooting out of her smoke tunnel.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:11, archived)