I remember when I was 7 or 8 (and a blue eyed, blonde haired dreamboat - oh how cruelly wasted)
being held down by 6 girls as they took turns to kiss me. The teacher walked past and I shouted for her help but she looked over at me and carried on walking.
( magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

And that's scarred you for life and now your wife has to pin you down to kiss you and afterwards you wipe your mouth with your sleave and spit on the floor

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:41, archived)