Won't fucking go down, stupid thing.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

Try harder, you spastic.
Wrap the top in a towel or something and give it a good thump.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

Have you got one of those corkscrews with levers on either side?
If so, re-screw it and lever it out.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

The stupid lever broke off
Have it now! I have lovely wine in my glass, on the floor, worktop, my top and my arms.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

The harder you have to work for it
the sweeter the reward.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

Indeed,
WINEY WINEY WINE.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

Good stuff
The Internet - getting Irish birds drunk a speciality
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

Hurray!

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

Priapism can be a curse

(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

not if you really enjoy masturbating but can't be bothered to go through the effort of getting an erection

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

Not at my age, son

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

if it won't go down wrap a teatowel around the base
and gently smack it against a wall base first
the pressure pushes the cork out enough for you to grab it with pliers teeth firm grip
and yank it out
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)