"I was bitten by my Russian hamster and
now my face has swolled up to three times the size of my body. I mean my freakin' head is the size of a sofa. What the fuck? I think my hamster had rabies or syphilis. It's ok though, I killed it by throwing it into a food processor."

Later..

"Christ, why did I do that? That's a horrible thing to have done. My head has reduced in size now though, it's now only the size of a small TV"
( The Neville What what what, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)