I had a shit last night that was so much much effort to pass that my arse cheeks actually made a clapping sound as it left my body.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

Did your testicles hold up a card saying "7.8" ?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

Oh god, I'm crying with laughter at this.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

*carries you shoulder high through the street*

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

I have been informed of the recommended poo position...
knees raised, elbows on knees, straight back...

and if you need to push, then pretend you are trying to pop your trouser's button (trousers do need to be removed)
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)