Morning poo.
A 'dry' poo with hint of sweetcorn. a low wipe count saves this trout from utter failure.

5/10
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

Badger, dear God, thank sweet Heaven you're here.
The Panda-alarm's been set off :(
( Bats, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

why is there no "dyke" on your username anymore?

(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

I grew up a bit, got bored of it.
Decided I wasn't 100% dykey anyway. Lots of reasons.

Mostly growing up, though.
( Bats, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

righto...
*firm handshake*
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

3 internet men I've never met
and I know more about their poos than I do them.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

poo posts are the only ones that make me want to leave and come back later
i just don't get it
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

I don't find it offensive...
if I get the job I've applied for I'll have to be around that sort of thing anyway, maybe.

Not scat queen, operating dept practitioner. Hand stroker, swab passer.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

it's not offensive
just uninteresting.

err... good luck with the job?
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

Thank you, that was an outstanding response.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

i try my gosh-darn best

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

You did good, little Jimmy. *pats head*

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

:D
*runs around with aeroplane arms*
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 10:00, archived)

GMOS, yeah?
i43.tinypic.com/2ikuv54.jpg
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

Seriously, look.
i43.tinypic.com/2ikuv54.jpg
www.b3takit.co.uk/gos.jpg
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

wow, it's like we're twins.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

WONDER TWIN POWERS, ACTIVATE!

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

FORM OF...GMOS!
SHAPE OF...GMOS!
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

if they remade captain planet
they'd get rid of heart and replace it with me

EARTH, WIND, FIRE, WATER, GMOS!
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

WITH YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM CAPTAIN GMOS!

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

I thought that.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

*GMOS-five*

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

I see him everywhere, to be fair.
Optimism, and that.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

ptim nan
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

Oh my, yes.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

LOOK AT MY NERVES OF STEEL
JUST BEFORE A FIGHT
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

That bird next to you looks worried.
GMOS, MAN OF COURAGE.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

she's on my team
she fought first in most of our heats. I took first place in the final though.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

Is that IVV further down the bar?

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:47, archived)

do you eat sweet corn every day or something?
I've yet to see a poo post from you without a mention of sweet corn.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=morning+poo
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

I had a truly amazing one yesterday...
i didn't even have to push..

there was much "ahhhh"-ing afterwards as I felt like i could fly

just saying, like...

EDIT:

I've just realise - this got a better response than MY thread!
www.b3ta.com/talk/6184583

*internet flounce*
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

I had one once where I had to stand up to let it all come out
it was a magnificent totem
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

like laying a cable...
where you have to shuffle forward as you go?
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

One foot on the sink
the other on the washing machine
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

I did one so long it was less laying a cable, more laying a nautical mile

( magnum, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

I had a shit last night that was so much much effort to pass that my arse cheeks actually made a clapping sound as it left my body.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

Did your testicles hold up a card saying "7.8" ?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

Oh god, I'm crying with laughter at this.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

*carries you shoulder high through the street*

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

I have been informed of the recommended poo position...
knees raised, elbows on knees, straight back...

and if you need to push, then pretend you are trying to pop your trouser's button (trousers do need to be removed)
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

Christ, don't get me started on poo
/having defecatory difficulties
( broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

I haven't been for a morning shit yet
I've been to an airport by accident instead.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

Most recent Poo:-
Promissing preload only to dissapoint.
Wet, requiring many wipes.
3/10 must do better.
( BindiBaji, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

To the tune of "Sex Bomb" by Tom Jones
Sweetcorn, Sweetcorn,
Poo with sweetcorn,
A dry ol' little shitty that I did this very morn,
Sweetcorn, Sweetcorn,
Poo with sweetcorn,
No wiping for this brown newborn (No wiping for this brown newborn).
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

does this signify a return of "Teh Poetry"?

(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

My poos recently have been difficult and unsatisfying.
Though they smelt of barbecue for a couple of days, which was a pleasant change.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

Solid start, apparently a brown cork though as midway turned into gushing.
Excessive wiping needed to resolve. Save the rainforest would not be impressed.

2/10
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

I don't want to hear about your shit
it's pathetic.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

turn off your screen reader

(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

What do you mean by the word "pathetic" here?
you were deeply moved by it? It made you emotional? Or that you have a really fucking high moral horse that you just got punched off by an angry libraian wielding a dictionary because you're a stupid fucking twat.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 9:47, archived)