i've always been of the belief that football could do with a "wildcard" player who plays for neither team and whose job is to boot the ball as far away in any direction as possible

( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 1:58, archived)

and snipers too

( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 1:58, archived)

The referee can wear the tops of both sides underneath his top
He can play for either side whenever he wants, depending on bungs etc
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)