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Cliff Richard's in the crowd pitching a tent over Venus Williams.

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)
Just as long as he doesn't sing

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)
Surely Cliff would be doing that over the Men's Doubles?

If you work for the police, searching for his criminal records is a sackable offence. True story. He's done some right gay shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)
I was insinuating that Venus Williams looks like a man.
And that sounds like the best reason to get sacked ever.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)
Aha! Double Men Loving Attack right there :) It's like a Street Fighter special move.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)
"gay shit"
In a George Micheal way?
(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)
Why did George Michael have a brown mouth?
ds s ssן s snq
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)
Awards comedy medal.

(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)
Bingo

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)
One of his houses is in Norfolk.
My cousins boyfriend fitted out his kitchen. I wonder if Cliff tried to bum him.
(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)
When I was a carpet fitter I did a house for a priest.
He had loads of paintings hanging on the walls that had all of the hands coloured in with black marker. as we were moving a wardrobe we pulled out one of the draws and I shit you not there were about 200 pairs of black leather gloves in there and generally on pair on most surfaces.

He also had a picture on his landing of a man in a long coat from behind, flashing a naked girl, with the hands coloured in black with marker pen.

Never fitted a whole house as fast as that :S
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)
I also got threatened to be killed by a mental patient, offered sex as payment from an ugly woman with the world's biggest muff
People flooding their house as we were there as they couldn't be bothered to stop watching TV to fix a pipe spraying water out a window, killed all the plants in a woman's house by accident, glued a door shut and had to kick it down... That's just some of them...

I loved being a carpet fitter.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/5053776
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)
Holy crap

(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)
It was the biggest education of my life.
I know it reads like a QOTW post but they are all true :S Got about 20 good WTF?!? stories from that job.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)
Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)
I know. Seemed like a nice bloke, that's what made it worse.
He just left us in this really crusty house and he went off and said to post the keys through the door when we're finished. Said to make some tea and the milk was 2 months out of date. TWO MONTHS D:
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)