You could spunk in her eye. That's unsexy.
Especially if she's asleep, and you spunk in her eye, and it solidifies and crystalises on her eyeball and eyelid and finally the slow growing pain awakes her, only she can't open the other eye and she's running around screaming in pain and panic like some kind of albino pirate under attack.

No tell a lie, that's pretty sexy as it goes.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)