The last wedding I went to had a three tiered pork pie instead of a wedding cake.
If they don't have this, complain bitterly. Preferably with tears. If you can smash the cake with rage, do it.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

I'm going to hum at the natural frequency of the material used to create the cake stanchions, EXPECT CAKE DEVASTATION

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)