Seeing as we're posting links
You can count on The Onion to make you wince

SFW

Also: news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Showbiz-News/Michael-Jackson-Dies-Of-Heart-Attack-After-Being-Rushed-To-UCLA-Hospital-In-Los-Angeles/Article/200906415319936?lpos=Showbiz_News_Carousel_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_15319936_Michael_Jackson_Dies_Of_Heart_Attack_After_Being_Rushed_To_UCLA_Hospital_In_Los_Angeles
Do you reckon he offed him?
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

HUFFERWEEB!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

that's sound fat people make when they laugh into a carton of cream

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

You make me laugh so much, I do poopies.

( SuperMatt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

are they into your hand? I hope to
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

You hope to?
Your aspirations are in dire need of re-evaluation.
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

DOOONT
That's the sound of a bottle bouncing off your head ;)
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

empty bottle of course
no point wasting good booze.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

No.

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

The paramedic said he turned white as a sheet,
and then 15 years later died of a heart attack
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

Oh god

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

who killed jackson?
7 or 8 suspects wanted by police

other age groups are being considered.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)