1. Deflate Tyres
2. Remove saddle and handle bars
3. Drink wine
4. Remove wheels
5. Drink more wine
6. Remove mudguards
7. Finish off the bottle
8. SMASH THE FUGGAH UP, YE CUNT, YE... *hic*
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

Apparently I only have to take the pedals off it, deflate the tyres, and turn the handle bar sideways.
I'll probably tape it up aswell.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:21, archived)