My dad told me when I was little that the gated doors in subways were where they kept the monsters locked up during the day.
He also told me that 0 + 0 equalled a half which screwed my life up for the first six or seven years.
( FoldsFive, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

my dad told me only girls could become 6yrs old
so I went to school on my birthday telling everyone I was 7 and getting into lots of arguements
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)