i've never seen a fat jesus

( well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:38, archived)

It's a closely guarded secret that he weighed in excess of twenty stone and used one of those fat people scooters to get to Damascus

( Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:39, archived)

i feel sorry for whoever had to heave him up onto the cross

( well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:40, archived)

there wasn't a rock in front of his tomb
they just couldn't push his body in any further
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:40, archived)

"Buy Reverend Frank's Holy Weight Loss Pills or you won't fit through the Pearly Gates"
this may be the best idea I've ever had in my entire life
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)