take them all out go-karting
tell them that whoever wins gets to take you out on a date. but this will just be a cover story. when one of them tells you to fuck off, that she's not some number which can be digested with metrics and prioritisation, her; when you find her, you will know she is the one

but by this point, you'll have blown it. hahaha sucks to be you
( spacefish bong!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 21:22, archived)