I really want you to get a pug
the image of you walking it around st james park is amusing.
( SuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)

I would put a handle on its back and carry it like a briefcase

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)

No no no
You should have it on a lead because then it can drag you around. And you'll have to lean back a little as you walk because it's pulling so much.
You'll look so cool doing that in your tight jeans, cowboy boots and aviator sunglasses.
( SuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)

And it's tiny little legs will be moving really fast as it pulls you forward
tying desperately to get to the tree it just saw a squirrel climb
( SuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)

I call my jeans "Change Counters"
Because you can actually see how much money I've got in my pockets.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)

I can also see when you're pleased to see me.

( SuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)

Which isn't often

( SuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)

That's because I like girls innit

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:52, archived)