Who's the best dead act?
I'm on YouTube. I'm that bored of you all.

I was thinking best dead act on YouTube.
( applehead herp derp, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:37, archived)

This is the worst sort of post on /talk

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:37, archived)

Stop posting then

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:40, archived)

Oh you meant his post?

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:40, archived)

Duh.

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:41, archived)

I just thought you were agreeing with the rest of us.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:42, archived)

Not yet.
I've not hit my 20,000th
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:42, archived)

Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis

(Glomp Fuck, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:42, archived)

you think?

( well, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:41, archived)

Yeah, I actually do.
And I don't mean my posts.
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:41, archived)

i knew what you meant


Edit: you're probably right
( well, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:42, archived)

No
Yours are
( applehead herp derp, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:42, archived)

That's been done before.
Please think of a more original response.
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)

Just answer the fucking question
you misog
( applehead herp derp, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:46, archived)

Mozart
he knew how to rock the house
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:37, archived)

Brian McFadden

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:41, archived)

Piston_Broke

(Glomp Fuck, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:41, archived)

I didn't want to start a new thread but...
has anyone read this book?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:43, archived)

no
i'll let you know if i meet anyone who has though
( well, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)

I found it had some excellent thriller elements but spoilt at times by ill-advised attempts at comedy,
Let me please introduce an air of reality to the reviewing process. I realise I'm going to be slaughtered for my summation but my title above says it all.

I've met Stuart MacBride and he's a truly lovely man: witty, charming, funny and urbane. Everything this book isn't in fact. I enjoyed his first three novels but thought his fourth - 'Flesh House' which had potentially brilliant ideas - was a confused mess.

It's a similar case here. DI Steel, Logan McRae's boss, is a grotesque caricature of Dickensian proportions and she is totally out of place in a thriller novel. She swears an awful lot, but as the saying has it, it's not big, not clever and it's very definitely NOT funny. Stuart seems to be equating profanity with wit.

As a policewoman she's utterly useless; all she does is spew forth a lot of macho (yes, I know she's a woman) cobblers, the likes of which was last heard issuing from the mouths of Jack Regan (John Thaw in 'The Sweeney') and Gene Hunt in 'Life on Mars' and 'Ashes to Ashes'. Only thing is Gene Hunt is MEANT to embody all that was bad and naff about 70s-80s British cops. She also spends a lot of time insulting fellow officers. Tedious? - Just a touch.

There's a terrible sub-plot (there are TOO many of these in the book) where DI Steel is after Logan McRae's sperm so she can inseminate her lesbian partner Susan, using a turkey baster. This device was last used to comic effect in 'Brookside' almost 20 years ago. DI Steel also hides a vital witness called Rory Simpson - an ageing paedophile - in the home she shares with Susan. Except, to be acceptable to her partner, she passes him off as gay. And of course he camps it up for her benefit. It's complete tosh, being both utterly lame, and incredibly lazy writing. 'Carry-On' level humour in fact.

Oh, and Steel starts up a swear box and keeps feeding it money before going off on yet another foul-mouthed tirade. This is meant to be funny, believe it or not. Need I go on detailing every boring comedy cliché in the book?

I hope I've established that it's not in the slightest bit amusing and that the humour possesses no originality or subtlety.

Alright, I've concentrated on the negative aspects - what about the positive? Luckily there are enough of these in 'Blind Eye': MacBride is capable of being REALLY chilling, and there's an incredibly frightening, gory scene in here that really hits home. There're a couple of other excellent sub-plots and when McRae goes to Poland to chase-up a line on the case, there is some superbly atmospheric and gripping writing.

The serial eye-gouger-outer and his terrifying henchman are also very well drawn - if not 100% believable.

Overall, the excellent aspects of the novel and the ludicrous attempts at 'comedy' just about balance each other out and it emerges as a decent, if overlong, read. I struggled through it at times, but was glad I persevered. It's definitely better than 'Flesh House'.

However, I won't be prepared to slog through another convoluted mess like this again. If it had been Stuart's first novel, or I hadn't previously been a fan, I would have chucked this out the window after six or seven chapters and encouraged the pigeons to defecate on it.

Stuart, I believe you have enormous potential as a crime thriller writer, but you really need to tone down the often teeth-grindingly awful attempts at comedy. Somewhere in this 500-and odd page behemoth, is a fantastic, slick 300 page thriller waiting to be released. Remember the old adage: sometimes less is more.
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:47, archived)

that seems a bit biased though

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:49, archived)

IM GOING ON A HOLIDAY
not for 12 months but MEH YAY
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)

will you shut up about it now?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:49, archived)

It's only because its booked now
it wasn't the other day but now it is so I am yey!

I will shut up now though :)
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 19:54, archived)