I read a story on the web somewhere
where a guy came home from the pub pissed, tried to take his lenses out and could only get hold of the corner, after a while of trying he gave up and went to A&E to see why they were stuck, turns out the thick twat had not got them in and was trying to remove his cornea.
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)