Piss on candles
if you're a fireman.
( Comma, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:49, archived)

Rewrap an egyptian mummy
if you are a doctor.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:50, archived)

Gay it up with Hobbits
If you are an actor
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:51, archived)