I have lots of work to do....
but I hate this job, so what can I do which *looks* like work?
( umbongo I vote for Evil Lu as Mayor of /talk, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:46, archived)

Take a shit on your desk.
Then fuck it.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

Do you own
a glass topped coffee table ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

Suck a banana*
*if you are a prostitute
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

Actually I have a banana on my desk
a german guy gave it to me.. it's only 2" long.... do you think that they only grow them that big in germany to stop them feeling inferior?
( umbongo I vote for Evil Lu as Mayor of /talk, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:53, archived)

I think that if you peel it
you'll find his mummified cock inside.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:54, archived)

I was saving it for later....
but now I think I'll give it to the kids when I get home.
( umbongo I vote for Evil Lu as Mayor of /talk, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:57, archived)

wank
it's only two letters different
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

Piss on candles
if you're a fireman.
( Comma, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:49, archived)

Rewrap an egyptian mummy
if you are a doctor.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:50, archived)

Gay it up with Hobbits
If you are an actor
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:51, archived)

Close your browser.
Bring up a window/terminal with your work in it.
Stare at it while secretly imagining a naked, butter-smeared Natasha Kaplinsky rimming you senseless.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:50, archived)

nightmare..
I'm lactose intolerant.
( umbongo I vote for Evil Lu as Mayor of /talk, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:51, archived)

You're rubbish.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:52, archived)

Yes.
Rubbish.
Yes.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:55, archived)

Could be man fat
she's coated in
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:52, archived)

ok
soya spread then
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:53, archived)

uuuugghhh
Soya gives me ecsma.
( umbongo I vote for Evil Lu as Mayor of /talk, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:55, archived)

Maybe if she was coated
in Angelina Jolies "issue" it might be better for everyone
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:55, archived)

now, if Nat was covered in Angelina... hmmmmmm
_{fwap fwap fwap fwap fwap}
( umbongo I vote for Evil Lu as Mayor of /talk, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:56, archived)

Angelina Jolie and Natasha Kaplinsky
writhing around in a frenzied embrace, coated from heat to foot in a blend of their own musky juices.
Hmm.
I've already had my statutory work-fwap today, which is a shame.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:58, archived)

Musky Juices
*stffens*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 17:00, archived)