Get a Staf/English Mastiff cross instead.
Looks the same but five times bigger. Then you can look even smaller, as everyone will think it's a normal staf.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:34, archived)

YES!

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:58, archived)