All searches should be done in the form of a long-winded question through AskJeeves circa 1998.
I fucking hate progress.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:04, archived)

Dear Jeeves, where are the fannies?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:05, archived)

Hello Jeeves, how are you? I hope you are well. Please could you show me some cute videos of kittens? Thanks loads. Lots of love, Aardvark.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)

I'd like to see each search begin with:
"HERE, TARQUIN....."

Promoting gentlemen on the internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)

Dear Jeeves
where can I get a blue rinse next Wednesday at half 3 in the afternoon. For £3. Thanks.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:14, archived)