Hello.
I'm off to America. I'm off to the Elvis Haircut Museum. I'm also going to New Orleans. I'm visiting a girl. I should take her a present. What should I get her that says 'Britain'?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:52, archived)

I'd show her this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQQN6eo7GI4
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:55, archived)

coins and a little flag
or your cock
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:00, archived)

Teapot and a set of cups and saucers

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:01, archived)

Also some nice tea and biscuits

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:02, archived)

and don't forget to make her pay a massive import tax on it

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:12, archived)

she'll just toss it into the harbour

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:14, archived)

violent colonialism

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:03, archived)

a book on etiquette
such as this
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:03, archived)

Copy of the Oxford English Dictionary and a note saying 'LEARN TO SPELL, PRICK'

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:04, archived)

Don't they use the spellings we used to.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:03, archived)

A vomit stained stag-do shirt that has a hilarious nickname like ''shagger'' on the back.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:04, archived)

A battered Cutter's Choice tin that she can keep her money in.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:04, archived)

Where would this have originated?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:10, archived)

some impoverished minor country inhabited by grubby violent locals
so, Scotland
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:11, archived)

a piece of Basildon Bond with 'Britain' written on it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:05, archived)

a burburry hoody and a bottle of White Lightning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:05, archived)

The Duchess Of Cambridge's monthly used tampons

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:06, archived)

in a battered presentation tin from Scotland
with a dog on it
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:10, archived)

I would suggest you turn up in a royal blue velvet suit, white frilly shirt and crocodile boots
but that's probably your casual evening wear anyway
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:16, archived)