apparently if you spread salt over a vampire's grave they'll be compelled to count every last grain when they rise, because they're ocd or something
i bet they have aspergers and all sorts of anxiety disorders too, you could probably keep them away by inviting them to big party with people they don't know
( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:02, archived)

Or give them a pen and paper and a picture of York minster to copy

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:04, archived)