If you really want to turn a relationship into a hollow web of public pretensions
then bury a bottle of champagne at the beach with a fishing line coming from it to a stone. Go for a walk, "find" the stone, pull the line and haul in the champagne from the water or sand. As she squeals in shock, ask her to marry you, then crack open the champagne and get blotto alone when she says no.

remind her that you got this idea from the internet because you're too emotionally impoverished to think up your own romance.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:16, archived)

aw that's sooo cwute.

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

My mate did it, on my recommendation
when she gushed "oh, you're so romantic!" he laughed "yeah, it was Grrr's idea." She sulked for days.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

what if while you're gone the fishing line garrottes a seal, and you pull and you pull and it breaks and a rotting seals head comes flying out of the surf and kills your girlfriend?
can you just put the ring on her finger and say she said yes anyway?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:19, archived)

or if someone else has found it and replaced the champagne with her dead pet rabbit?

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

I would have to be following them quite closely for that

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:33, archived)