So, I have just spent a large amount of cash on an engagment ring for Unstable-Girlfriend
I am/was planning on taking her to Greece for her birthday (Oct 6th!) and proposing at sunset at the Acropolis!
But it seems there won't be much left of Athens with all the riots by then.
How else could I propose in a romantic yet not overly grand way (i.e. not in front of a crowd).

alt question, why do sweets/chocolate not taste as good as they used to?
I swear Smarties have completely altered their taste, and it makes me do a sad.
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:53, archived)

Don't bother.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:55, archived)

A fine suggestion, yet perhaps not quite what I was after.

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)

I dun a better one innit

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:01, archived)

you DUN! ta!

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:02, archived)

how about by way of discussion on the way back from the pub?

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)

just sort of drop it into the conversation?
'Best put the bins out when we get back, did you feed the cat? Will you marry me or what?'
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)

then ask for a sex.

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)

If I have to ask after she sees the ring I've bought, then it's going fucking back :)

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)

your tastes change as you mature. kids like more acidic sweets than adults, for some reason.
also, people change recipes for the convenience/price.
( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)

yeah but I fucking used to LOVE smarties, and the change has only been recent.
Companies are making my sweets smaller too.
BASTARDS.
DO SOMETHING Binky!
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)

IT'S YOU GETTING BIGGER.

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)

IM 33! I 'm fairly sure I have stopped growing.

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:00, archived)

not when you eat all those sweets BDUM TISH

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:00, archived)

waaah waaaah waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:01, archived)

Someone has ruined skittles too. Those blue ones taste filthy.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:44, archived)

Put the ring up your bum and fart it into her face.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)

wait, can i retract mine and vote for this one?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)

oh man, someone already done a bum one

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:16, archived)

Yours is more of a poo one.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:38, archived)

I suggest putting at the end of a really tough obstacle course
with swinging axes and live ammo. If she doesn't make it through, she wasn't worth it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)

marvellous
she is a fiery red-head, so it's just the sort of challenge she will accept!
I wonder if I can hire and amend the Wipeout course?
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)

take the household white goods apart and spell it out in the road with the bits, then make her look out the window and read it.

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)

Binky, you are probably the only reason I come back to this place day after day!
I might use her straighteners and other stuff though, the white goods are used too often for me to take apart.
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:00, archived)

OMG IS IT ME AM I THE LUCKLY LADY?

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:01, archived)

imma have to say no, anyway, soz.

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:01, archived)

awwwwwww, well, at least that's some preparation in case i get rejected for real.

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:03, archived)

oh you think i don't mean it?

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:03, archived)

I know you mean it, Im just in denial

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:05, archived)

Turns out, after the argument you can buy a new one.
Even if you can't quite afford it.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:07, archived)

lol plenty of time for her to leave you by then

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)

Verona. The "Juliet's Balcony".
There's this thing there where you write a love note and stick it up somewhere in the courtyard. On the wall, the tree, statue whatever. It's a sort of tradition. The place is covered in them. On our wedding day Wife and I wrote each other one and then swapped them before hanging them on the tree.

Write her a proposal before you go. Put it in an envelope with the ring. Give it to her there. She put's the ring on, you stick the note up for other people to go "Awwwww..." at, you go for a nice meal at any one of the many fantastic resturants, you have a lovely time and bid farewell to your sex life.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:00, archived)

fucking hell, thats a coherent post, by YOU! today is a day gone topsy turvy.
I was with you right up until 'bid farewell'
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:02, archived)

It comes and goes. Soz.
Wibble.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:04, archived)

fnarf
s'ok
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:06, archived)

Romance fail
Take her to the Kashmir in Bradford, if it all goes tits up you'll have had a top feed for less than a tenner at least.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:03, archived)

haha 'the kashmir in Bradford' is slang for bumsex isnt it?

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:04, archived)

Yes
No
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

Propose after a few pints
and when she doesn't say yes straight away, sulk until she does.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:06, archived)

haha, I like this a bit too much.

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:07, archived)

It's what I did.
It wasn't a proper propsal granted but I asked Double F and he didn't give me a response for about three days. I sulked.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:11, archived)

aren't you worried he proposed to every other woman he met in those three days then just gave up?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:34, archived)

Go anyway
There will be lots of places that won't have rioting Greeks, perhaps on the coast?
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:08, archived)

I wanted to go to Athens though!!
*crosses arms, wibbles bottom lip*
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:11, archived)

Don't go
It's too hot for a start. You'll be sweating like a pig after you've climbed to the top.
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

I dunno
Don't bake it in a cake though. She might eat it by accident and then you'd have to wait for it to come out the other end.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:09, archived)

gross, I miss BOB TODD at times like thess

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:10, archived)

poo in bags so it doesn't get flushed, that's my sage advice.
hi spanga.
( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:10, archived)

Hi binkles.
How's things? x
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:14, archived)

pretty shit, see below, my car and this other car had a special kiss.

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

The other car asked your car to do that special thing it's always wanted and eventually it got your car really drunk and your car said oh god yes anything to shut you up about it and then the other car wasn't a caring and considerate lover and didn't even use the sandy lube and now your car can't sit down for a week?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:49, archived)

i think maybe several weeks. i'm basically screwed.

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:00, archived)

smash her tooth out and make her put it under her pillow.
then when she's asleep, replace it with the ring, dress up as the tooth fairy and look hopeful.
( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:11, archived)

HAHAHA WIN!
although, spousal(?) abuse is not funny kids!!
'looking hopeful' in a tutu and fairy wings, how could she resist?
especially after I've twatted her in the face.
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

ok sedate her and painlessly extract it, gently mind.

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:16, archived)

swallow the ring,
then propose when she spots it glinting in what you spray over the glass coffee table the next day
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

If you really want to turn a relationship into a hollow web of public pretensions
then bury a bottle of champagne at the beach with a fishing line coming from it to a stone. Go for a walk, "find" the stone, pull the line and haul in the champagne from the water or sand. As she squeals in shock, ask her to marry you, then crack open the champagne and get blotto alone when she says no.

remind her that you got this idea from the internet because you're too emotionally impoverished to think up your own romance.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:16, archived)

aw that's sooo cwute.

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

My mate did it, on my recommendation
when she gushed "oh, you're so romantic!" he laughed "yeah, it was Grrr's idea." She sulked for days.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

what if while you're gone the fishing line garrottes a seal, and you pull and you pull and it breaks and a rotting seals head comes flying out of the surf and kills your girlfriend?
can you just put the ring on her finger and say she said yes anyway?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:19, archived)

or if someone else has found it and replaced the champagne with her dead pet rabbit?

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

I would have to be following them quite closely for that

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:33, archived)

Get an old smarties tube (with the plastic cap) no more nails the ring to the inside of the lid and pop it back on.
then slam down on the tube so the lid-ring hurtles off with a pop and smacks her in the eye while you scream "YOU ARE UGLY. I'M NOT RICH. MARRY ME, YOU FUCKING BITCH."
You get 10 bonus Mariage-Points if you take her eye out, putting you in the lead before you even get wedded up.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:17, archived)

Grow her a marrow.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:19, archived)

My thoughts immediately went to marrows being put up naughty places
Alright, who's hacked me this time?
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

Fuck off.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

I'm sorry
Wibblewibblewibblelololol etc.
Do you understand now?
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:28, archived)

write a little treasure hunt for her around various web forums, with messages showing dates/times and urls
until she is led to this thread. then jump out from behind the sofa, naked apart from the ring hanging loosely on your tiny, shrivelled semi.
( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:21, archived)

some sort of elaborate and romantic treasure hunt
involving places you've been together and had romantic times. Then at the end, have some sort of midget holding the ring on a pillow. Then she'll definitely do anal with you. while the midget watches.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

I've always thought that midgets give any form of entertainment that 'wow' factor.
See: Live TV Bouncing Weather et al.
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:26, archived)

This is EXACTLY the same as Binky's one.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:27, archived)

hurhur up HIS bum.

( sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:30, archived)

"bum" hur hiur hur huck huck

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:32, archived)

Go to Rome instead
you can propose anywhere it's all quite nice. You could also possibly demand that she win a gladiator fight before you'll actually marry her
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:26, archived)

Use a tiny stencil to jizz "MARRY ME" straight into her eye.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:28, archived)

Remember to hold the stencil back to front
or she won't be able to read it.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:30, archived)

Hide the ring up her vagina when she's asleep.
Then disguise yourself as a gynaecologist and arrange for her to come in for a smear test. When you examine her say "there appears to be a growth' in a worried voice and when she starts sobbing because she thinks she has cancer you can pull out the ring and propose.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:34, archived)

Oh sweet baby jesus

( Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:39, archived)

Fill a balloon with her farts. Inhale it all in one go.
Numb your lips with ice and then shout "up my wife hanger" into her cunt.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:38, archived)

This is legally binding.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)

I agree
Baldmonkey for Attorney-General
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:51, archived)

Get a friend to call her up to say you're in hospital after a horrible accident.
When she's gets to the hospital, another friend (dressed as a doctor) leads her to your room. Lie there, with the duvet over your head and lay perfectly still. The doctor then asks her to confirm the identity of the body. As he peel the duvet back, reveal you with a rose between your teeth. Leap up and kneel, proposing to her there and then. Then all the other doctors and patients get up and do a choreographed dance sequence for about 15 minutes.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

Then actually die, for the ironic lolz

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

actual tears of mirth!
I cant see it going terribly well, but this is powering to the top of my likely scenarios!
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:41, archived)

Get your mum to propose to her for you.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:15, archived)

my mum is dead!

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:41, archived)

whats the fucking point? have you got literally nothing better to spend the money on?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:17, archived)

Yes.
I also feel inadequate because I couldn't afford an expensive ring for my wife.
Still, now that the sex has dried up, I'm thankful I didn't piss a penny more away on it.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)

the unfortunate thing
Is that you don't realise how pointless marriage is until you do it. Unless its for religious reasons of course.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:27, archived)

You're a religious reason
Or something
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)

I am, there's no denying it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:31, archived)

Give me her name and address and I'll do it for you.
I'll make her an offer she can't refuse.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:20, archived)

refuse understand
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:21, archived)

Propose round the back of Abbey National whilst you're hanging out the back of her after the pub closes

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:23, archived)

Take her on a weekend break
to deepest, darkest Wales. Find a suitably secluded spot with amazing natural beauty. Propose. Make sure you have the car keys in your other pocket, so that if she says no, she'll have a hell of a walk before she gets to a point with enough passers-by to hitch-hike and a hell of a hitch-hike before she gets to anywhere that has a mobile phone signal.
( Batsgirl, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)

or just take the opportunity to murder her and defile her corpse

(likeajackhammer, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)

this is going to be my answer to any marital dispute

(likeajackhammer, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:29, archived)

My other half likes yachts and sailing...
I thought I'd put the ring at the bottom of a bottle of champagne... and then smash it over her head
(likeajackhammer, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:26, archived)

Heh.

( rosie posie tingly bongly, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:39, archived)

I asked my mrs at a really freaking old stone circle in the Outer Hebrides
I wanted to reduce the chance of their being anyone around.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:50, archived)