"You like that baby, don't you," she purred, looking him straight in the eye.
Noit stared. This wasn't quite what he'd had in mind when he signed up to the dating service, but the idea of another valentines alone had been too much to bear. And when the offer came in, it took but a moment to agree.

She swung her hips from side to side. The seductive sine wave quickly spread, until all the flesh from her ankles to her armpits rippled to the beat. Noit was mesmerised, unable to take his gaze from the acres of wobbling mass, quivering like the ocean. The meat mushroom trapped inside his Y-fronts tugged yearningly at the fabric, separating him from the hypnotic quivering mass. He was riveted, captivated by the figure dancing in front of him as he lay on his bed.

Licking her lips, her hands snaked up and down her body, brushing against her collarbone, picking out a smooth trail of downy hair from between her breasts and over the spoil heap of her belly until her fingertips rested against the band of her knickers. The tension was palpable, and Noit's focus zeroed in on the frayed and stained elastic.

First one thumb, then the other, snuck inside the waistband. With a snakelike writhe, she wriggled her hips and the first few millimetres peeled away. Slime like a hungry Alien oozed from her skin, and as the polyester finally gave way, the underwear splashed to ground with a sickening wet thud, as if a butcher had just knocked 8 ounces of fresh steak onto the floor.

"You like what you see?" came the smoky, gravelly voice.

Noit choked. He was winded, so overcome was he by the sexual majesty in front of him. A pop, a spurt and then a fountain of creamy yellow manfat erupted from his loins, instantly turning his pants into a creme brule.

With a cheeky wink, baldmonkey pulled off his wig and tossed it at Noit's spasming, gasping form. "Dry yourself up with this, sugarlips" he quipped, before stealing from the room.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 12:23, archived)

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 12:36, archived)

At least you got a date out of it.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 11 Feb 2012, 12:44, archived)

Hey, I never said you fucked him

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 12:49, archived)

ahaha you sick bastard

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 12:37, archived)

Haha christ. Whole box of kleenex, there.

( fatpoof, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 13:54, archived)