He would ban everyone
Then create 100 comedy accounts and start thread after thread of him talking to himself.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:43, archived)

He would probably get bored of a few and start trolling them
bullying various representations of his psyche into flouncing.
He could very well recreate and maintain all of /talk by himself.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:47, archived)