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newsletter
b3ta.com/newsletter/issue517/
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:16, archived)
Alright Rob

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:17, archived)
stay and chat, media monkey.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:17, archived)
wtf why you call him that

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:22, archived)
it's a bit nicer than media whore

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:25, archived)
i know a media monkey on twitter and stuff and the guardians media monkey also goes by that name
i never realised it was a THING
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:27, archived)
I didn't know that it was, I was just looking for something mildly insulting.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:28, archived)
Would you prefer I change it?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:29, archived)
nah its fine, carry on mmps.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:32, archived)
*salutes, with sexy results*

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:33, archived)
You've been touching my chest for a while now...

(I helped save b3ta! Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:44, archived)
it's a big chest.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:56, archived)
Well..
I guess it is.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 18:01, archived)
Hello Binky
I would like to try that game, can I play with you please?
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:29, archived)
i dont even know how you do that....
i am er inkymittens on xbox. if you can find us?
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:30, archived)
On xbox you say?
I won't be on my xbox until at least Sunday.
Off away for the weekend you see
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:34, archived)
I just added you on my phone.
Technology can be awesome, sometimes.
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:35, archived)
i am shocked and amazed

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:36, archived)
=^v^=

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:46, archived)
does this mean you two are going out now?

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:49, archived)
Oh boy, I hope so!

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:51, archived)
I have no idea what binky looks like but I imagine you're in for some floral buxom loving now

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:52, archived)
To be honest I'd be happy with a quick go on her tits.

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:53, archived)
They're probably excellent
She seems the sort
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:54, archived)
*crosses fingers*

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:58, archived)
a young Miriam Margolyes I'd say.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:53, archived)
She's a cross between an Enid Blyton tale and the Ann Summers catalogue

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:56, archived)
this is actually pretty accurate

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:01, archived)
Five Go Fisting

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:05, archived)
that sounds pretty rough :(

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:06, archived)
you would say that
it just means that you appear to be a bit sweet and innocent but actually have a bubbling undercurrent of filth, like in that tentacle porn comment below
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:10, archived)
IT SOUNDS TO ME
like terribly old-fashioned "what ho more lemonade how spiffing oh jolly" + "tarty pants and a strap-on"
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:20, archived)
i am getting so confused by this internetting.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:20, archived)

conf aro
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:26, archived)
i slid off my chair :(

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:29, archived)
:D

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:29, archived)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:30, archived)
anyway it was a cartoon, no real girls were harmed in the making of this sick filth.
i was just trying to think of cartoons which are actually explicit. i think that scene is quite early-on and then there's nothing so dodgy, mostly fights i think.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:21, archived)
Filthy Hussy

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:29, archived)
i'll never forget the time i tried to lend my personal usb stick to someone at work
and i didn't realise my then-boyfriend had loaded the film "pervert" onto it.

and i spent over half an hour painfully embarrassed as my colleague flicked through the whole film on fastfwd in full view of everyone.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:02, archived)
Hahaha
Amazing!
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:09, archived)
there's cheesy sex, topless everywhere, gore and a detachable penis.
what's not to like :/
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:10, archived)
Will you marry me?

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:11, archived)
im... involved.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:28, archived)
That's fine with me.

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:34, archived)
i'll ask him his opinion k

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:40, archived)
Thanks.
xxx
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:52, archived)
This is what I meant, I didn't mean to upset her, oh god I don't think I'm allowed to post here anymore, oh god I'm so so sorry please don't hurt me

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:40, archived)
I think it's best you just leave
leave come over here and touch my personal zones
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:51, archived)
Like the armpit and the belly button

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:57, archived)
+ and drink it all up
I say DOC-TOR!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:58, archived)
The Secret Seven Inches

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:06, archived)
Jolly Little Jumbo-size

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:07, archived)
Cock, that is, I'm not calling Binky a fatty

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:07, archived)
Just suggesting she has a massive lob-on

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:08, archived)
I believe I've already gone on the record stating that binky has a penis.
Not even a dainty lady penis.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:10, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7418258
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:11, archived)
The Blue Story Book
Funnily this is actually an Enid Blyton book, no edit necessary
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:08, archived)
In fact, there's a few that don't need any modification, just a suitably dirty mind.
The Bad Little Monkey, The Enid Blyton Book of Bunnies, The Yellow Fairy Book, Naughty Amelia Jane, The Secret Mountain. I've come over all funny.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:13, archived)
enid blyton books were not all written by enid. fact.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:22, archived)
is it a coincidence that her name is an anagram of tiny blonde?
SOMEHOW I DOUBT IT
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:47, archived)
i always imagined her looking like grandma nelson, if im honest - defined chin/big nose and curly white hair

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:56, archived)
I read the first one as 'The Bald Little Monkey'.
With sexy results.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:24, archived)
Me too.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:01, archived)
Mrs.Tug-a-winkle

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:19, archived)
LOFFOL!

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:36, archived)
Thank you Mono

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:58, archived)
i've just googled her. the spanish infanta? tyvm.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:43, archived)
Yep.
Lady Whiteadder too, I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:47, archived)
and queen victoria!

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:52, archived)
Oh yes...to Jim Broadbent's Prince Albert
So to speak
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:55, archived)
I sent you a message too, amazing!

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:39, archived)
I hope Friz is in it
He's my favourite
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:18, archived)
I heard he was dead.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:03, archived)
wow, our busiest afternoon in ages and now this!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:20, archived)
This is the first, uhm, 'newsletter'? Is that it? That I've seen
Seems alright
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:26, archived)
i preferred it before it went mainstream

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:38, archived)
I didn't use to archive them and had them just in my gmail inbox
I archive them now though

Life story of Theoban, #87589455
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:42, archived)
nice dubs
please can i hear LsoT # 452119?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:49, archived)
I said I didn't like pineapple juice when I was little and made my Mum go back for a different drink
But I DO LIKE PINEAPPLE JUICE I still feel guilty about that
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:59, archived)
I'm not really posting much at the moment am I?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:52, archived)
no but you might like this
30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkr2jxEkPj1qc174to1_500.gif
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:56, archived)
I certainly do!

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:03, archived)
from the newsletter

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:11, archived)
Sup.

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:27, archived)
the newletter has something about fucking cartoon characters in it

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:28, archived)
Really?

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:40, archived)
really

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:54, archived)
UNBAN DING!
And then fuck off back to links you disgusting ginge.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:28, archived)
A return to the form of 2007, best work for some time

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:32, archived)
Is Friz/cows in it, etc?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:11, archived)
Hi Rob, I did good in court today
Can I have a pat on the back/head for not regressing and flinging faeces across the courtroom?
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:18, archived)
I was serious,
I want to come and sit in the public gallery some day and watch you lawyer. You know,where I work, and have the oppurtunity to see me in action. It's only fair I am allowed to do the same.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:24, archived)
Yeah sure why not
I'll be in Manchester County court, every friday afternoon. Feel free to say hi from the gallery or whatever.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:27, archived)
Is this like that time I told you where i workrd but it was a lie,
Or are you genuinely in Manchester?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:31, archived)
Oh shit, were you really lying?
Awkward :/
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:35, archived)
I don't even know where Bishops Stortford is,
Or even if there is a Kings Arms there. Sorry frisbee.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:41, archived)
Well shit, you completely fooled me
and here I was blah blah honesty blah bored now
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:41, archived)
It's a shame we fight like this.
I reckon we'd be great mates really.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:45, archived)
are you in the little booths in walls rubbing seductively against the glass at passersby in the streets?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:55, archived)
I'd let you watch me work, Windy

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:27, archived)

or an
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:44, archived)
that's what he does for a living

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:50, archived)
Not far off the truth

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:52, archived)
pokey bum wank?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:55, archived)
I call it Pokey Bott Wank
but the result is the same.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:56, archived)
It's still a 35 year old man with his thumb up his arse, hunched over, humping his fist like there's no tomorrow
Either way, it's very upsetting.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:57, archived)
thumb?
Cor! Do you use lube or just use the greasy sweat that builds up in the little pocket between your balls and thighs?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:00, archived)
It's all me baby
Quick wipe of my vinegary gooch and I'm ready to go!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:00, archived)
I'd like to make an official complaint about Frisbee.
He's bullying me.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:54, archived)
he couldn't bully his way out of a bag made of mewling toddlers

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:57, archived)
you're an awful mod.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:58, archived)
for assuming you can hold your own against a dogsport-playing manchild?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:04, archived)
true,
I reckon I'll be ok. Although its not a sport.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:20, archived)
I didn't even know if he was trying, sorry about that :(

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:23, archived)
you're making very little sense frisbee.
But that's ok, I reckon I'm going to be nice to you from now on.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:31, archived)
This is something I want to believe.

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:41, archived)
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
SUCKER!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:00, archived)
Windy I'd let you come and see me but the public aren't allowed in our office
Soz Windles
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:36, archived)
not even a webcam live feed of your desk?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:38, archived)
We just got a new policy update 'photos and filming in the office'
Cos of the TOP SECRET work that I do that's dead important
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:46, archived)
corporate pricks.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:49, archived)
Cos someone posted pictures of our French office ON THE LINE earlier and it got leaked and now it's everywhere and oh god oh god security is down, they're inside the fence
Quick get out, they're coming
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:55, archived)
You and your fucking dirty newsletter are ruining this place

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:23, archived)
He is the cancer that is killing /talk The LOVELY Two Hats.
If baldmonkey was TOP-MOD he'd have BANHAMMERED him by now.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:32, archived)
Baldmonkey would have banhammered everyone, including himself
And then would somehow have unbanned himself, get bored and unban everyone after a few weeks, only for him to write a script which replaces words with more than one vowel in it with 'mingeLOL' or something.
Or alternatively would have renamed everyone after his kids and convince himself he's some kind of earth-mother figure.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:40, archived)
He would ban everyone
Then create 100 comedy accounts and start thread after thread of him talking to himself.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:43, archived)
He would probably get bored of a few and start trolling them
bullying various representations of his psyche into flouncing.
He could very well recreate and maintain all of /talk by himself.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:47, archived)

Hey now, calm down grumpy hats. He's been posting here a bit lately, trying to keep moral up, you never know he might even encourage a few new people to chat to us. Have hope man.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:33, archived)
I know, but it wouldn't be friday without a bit of Rob-Rudeness

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:44, archived)
this is true.
Rob is a stupid ugly prick, spamming his shit all over our nice talk board. BURN THE HERETIC.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:47, archived)
And a ginger. Don't forget that he's a massive ginge.

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:51, archived)
my secret shame...
I am also a filthy ginger.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 16:53, archived)
Really? You don't sound ginger

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:02, archived)
Sorry,
I will try harder.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:10, archived)