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With the exception of Shambolic, you have been "taught" by other noobs.
That was your first mistake.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:35, archived)
You pointed out the error of my ways.

(DolphinWhipperer, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:37, archived)
Oh and you smell of poo and wee.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:38, archived)
I've been through that already.

(DolphinWhipperer, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:41, archived)
OK
Go on Tumblr, create an account in your real name and start a Cee-Lo Green / Chris Brown appreciation page and make sure the feminists see it.

Then we'll accept you.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:53, archived)
Who are 'the feminists'?
That's going to be a difficult one to pin down.
(DolphinWhipperer, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:55, archived)
90% of Tumblr

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 20:13, archived)
How long exactly does one have to be a b3tan before the title of 'noob' is removed
or is it just one of those things where one cannot ever meet your standards, because they weren't here from day 1, thus fueling your deluded levels of self importance?
(I helped save b3ta! Glovington, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:56, archived)
No, some people lose "noob" after a few days.
If I recall, the quickest was "minimum fuss" - they got a best noob award, then nobody thought of them as a noob.

Creating a new thread to show how not upset you are is classic long term noob action.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 20:15, archived)
The elder has spoken

(DolphinWhipperer, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 20:17, archived)
See, you're not getting angsty or upset by my arseholerly.
I declare you no longer a noob.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 20:23, archived)
hold on, just counting my front pages...

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 20:23, archived)
All my front pages were withdrawn.
Because I did not create the pictures that got picked.

They had the gaul to accuse me of wrongdoing too. /board mods are dumb like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 21:03, archived)