How's your sunday?
Alt: LIV or MANU?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 17:12, archived)

rather relaxing so far
read for a few hours, done some laundry, been listening to disturbed for the last 2 hours, had a nice roast and now i'm thinking of having a couple of pints and a few snacks while i watch a film
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 17:21, archived)

I'm fackin langered m8-o
Alt: do wot san, dahnt fackin mag me off m8
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 17:33, archived)

A fella I went to school with posted that hes got some new sneakers, I dont know what they are but people were well impressed, said they entered raffles, look like blue denim with just a stitched swosh ?

(Nicki Minaj, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 17:41, archived)

I can't get involved in these manufactured-demand modern limited released things
70s-80s classics are my scene, reissues or originals, that's my shit.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 18:15, archived)

I found them, nike slam dunks or saink, 409 quid or more

(Nicki Minaj, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 18:32, archived)

fuck that
converse all stars for me
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 18:43, archived)

MANSPIDER!
had to shop. thank gof i'm home now. beer time.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 18:14, archived)

yeah not bad, ta
ordered myself a massage gun off the internet
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 18:24, archived)

how, exactly, is a "massage gun" different to a dildo

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 18:26, archived)

it isn't.

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 18:30, archived)

the difference, my dear, is in the attachments
this one comes with:

- 1 large ball attachment
- 1 small ball attachment

uh...

- 1 finger attachment

um...

- 1 mushroom-shaped attachment
- 1 flat attachment
- 1 U-shaped attachment

tbf, one trip to the DIY shop and ten minutes' installation later and you could probably fit any dildo you wanted to it

apparently though it's not going to be back in stock until the fucking 12th of MARCH, probably Brexit's fault again
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 18:30, archived)

so many people, stuck at home, doing D.I.Y and getting all stiff....

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 18:35, archived)

i'm well stiff after reading this

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 18:54, archived)

in these times of confinement, sometimes you just have to do it yourself

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 18:55, archived)

sisters have been doing that for years tbh

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sun 24 Jan 2021, 18:57, archived)