been stung numerous times
and my cat is an evil little bitch who will claw me whenever i try to brush her fur, but the worst was the pigeons. in london when i was a kid, me and my dad went to trafalgar square one day and he thought it'd be funny to put birdseed on my head. it fucking wasn't.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:08, archived)

Top dadding, there.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:11, archived)

joke's on him, i've got his sense of humour
he'll pay
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:15, archived)

Hate your child? Why not blind them with birdshit and get them pecked to death

(dribble, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:15, archived)

yeah, i was already partially blind
the reason we were in london was because i'd had surgery at moorfield's eye hospital. i had a fucking eyepatch on. i was chased round by those fucking birds like a little pink pirate.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:18, archived)