b3ta.com user spacehog
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Profile for spacehog:
Profile Info:

Hello from somewhere in a nice valley near Manchester.

Hello my name is Mark.

contact me for freelance web design, graphics and animation work, or just to have a chat and a cup of tea.

Mystery Superstars...
#1 | #2 | #3 | #4 | #5 | #6 | #7 | #8 | #9 | #10
#11 | #12 | #13 | #14 | #15 | #16 | #17 | #18 | #19 | #20

Mystery Movies...
#1 | #2 | #3 | #4 | #5 | #6 | #7 | #8 | #9

Phrases which should be banned from public use:
"Can I borrow you"
"What can I do you for?"
"Job's a goodun!"
"Job done!"
(in a conversation lull) "..madness..."
(in a conversation lull) "..bizarre..."
"That's more information than I needed"
ANY quote from Little Britain
"Promises promises" (except if you're Harry Hill)
Any sentence ending in "so..."
Any question ending in "or..."
"Isn't it cold?"
"You've had a haircut"

Recent front page messages:

Madeley and Stringfellow adventure #421

more anims
my site

(Sun 13th Jan 2008, 19:57, More)

ello all, s'been a while...

more anims
my site
(Tue 14th Aug 2007, 12:37, More)

kids. they ain't all bad, y'know...

more anims | my site
(Fri 2nd Mar 2007, 16:05, More)


my site
(Fri 5th Jan 2007, 11:10, More)

he loves playing with balls of wool
click to waste more time looking at my animations!
bigger and better version
more anims
(Thu 2nd Nov 2006, 13:32, More)

(Wed 15th Feb 2006, 18:17, More)

He's always being bullied by the other magicians...

(Wed 21st Dec 2005, 13:59, More)

now now boys, play nicely

(Fri 2nd Dec 2005, 13:21, More)

It's lunchtime!

(Thu 13th Oct 2005, 12:32, More)

how very useful

(Mon 11th Jul 2005, 14:14, More)

100% of fact

(Sat 11th Jun 2005, 20:50, More)

Staring at this might help sleep. Night all!!

(Fri 10th Jun 2005, 1:45, More)

(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 14:53, More)

windmill of truth

click for bigger and better (660k)

was a reet bugger to optimise
(Tue 7th Jun 2005, 14:14, More)

this is how my head feels today

(Mon 6th Jun 2005, 13:58, More)

but poor little man!

have this:

(Fri 6th May 2005, 17:43, More)

Tonight on BBC Three...

(Thu 28th Apr 2005, 12:00, More)

Pearoast from today because [insert excuse here]

(Thu 14th Apr 2005, 21:30, More)

10 minute display - now only £2!

/old tired bandwagon
(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 16:20, More)

Oscar couldn't wait to claim his ten pounds

it's my first anim!
(Wed 16th Mar 2005, 13:52, More)

Best answers to questions:

» World's Sickest Joke

What's brown and sticky?
Gluey Armstrong.

(@rob2005: sick jokes are supposed to be offensive *and* amusing, not just the former.)
(Wed 8th Feb 2006, 9:47, More)

» Petty Sabotage

Camping outside a pub near Skipton with my then-girlfriend
A group of art students were staying in a local barn, and we'd spent the day with them. Everyone had been at the pub together until closing, and then they'd all gone back to their barn and we'd gone to our little dome tent.

About half-an-hour later (when we were just getting 'settled' in the tent) we heard girls giggling and the canvas and poles started to move. The tent then proceeded to collapse as I emerged and the two giggling girls ran off back to the barn. The bastards had taken out all the pegs and thrown them into the bushes!

That was too much, so I stormed off down the road to the barn, and found the front door unlocked. Inside, one of the first things I saw was a fantastic painting done by one of the girls of a friend. I knew that the artist involved was one of the girls who had sabotaged my tent. So.....

...I took the painting and ran back down the road. I took a deep breath, ripped the picture to shreds and threw all the pieces into a ditch.

I still feel guilty now for destroying something creative (it was an outstanding picture, had been one of the talking points of the day), but I was *really* angry. We had to go around finding twigs in the middle of the night to use as makeshift tent-pegs.
(Wed 4th May 2005, 14:13, More)

» The Onosecond

rather unbelievable timing, this
This morning i received an email from a colleague ('Sandra') of mine with a link to the b3ta phallic logo awards. It was sent to a few addresses around the local office. I didn't regard it with any weight, especially as i'd seen it already.

Then another, apologising for the mistaken email. And adding 'Please delete' (in retrospect rather optimistically).

At that point I realised that Sandra had tried to send the email to a few friends, but her email client had auto-completed one of the addresses into the name of a company suggestion-box (ideas@) discusion-group, which included all directors, managers and many more (inc. me!).

Cue mucho pisstakingo whilst she panickadly asked the IT guys to delete the emails from the various accounts before they were downloaded by the recipients.

Sandra hasn't yet told me whose name she was attempting to type when the ideas@ address autocompleted. Doesn't matter really - pffffft!!!
(Fri 27th May 2005, 15:24, More)

» Singing the wrong words

On the subject of 'Grease'
'Maintain my erection' as opposed to 'Meditate in my direction', anyone? That mis-hearing caused a rather embarassing moment in high school drama class for one wannabe-musical-star-aquaintence.

And of course, on a different note (bindun I expect), 'Excuse me while I kiss this guy'. Say no more...
(Fri 28th Jan 2005, 0:20, More)