b3ta.com user faultykyle
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» Mad Stuff You've Done To Get Someone To Sleep With You

I have been a longtime hater of emo's. sorry for anyone reading this who is or likes emos. I met a really nice chick 2 months back who i really fell for, even though she was emo. Suprised the hell out of me.

We went out, and i put up with her emoness because i thought she would be worth it. We ended up fucking. and now im dumped because i made her happy. This leads to my new view on emos, they arent unhappy because the world is harsh. They are unhappy because they WANT the world to hate them so they can continue being unhappy.

My advice, dont date an emo if you are happy
(Mon 16th Apr 2007, 16:30, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Kangaroos in australia
my cousin had the delight of looking after an american kid through his school for cricket course.

naturally the first thing the little turd said when he got out of the airport was "where are the kangaroos?". this is normal you might suggest.

but my cousin is the only person i know in perth with a pet kangaroo. the yank shat himself when he went out into the backyard and had a roo attack him

see... even roos hate americans
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 2:27, More)

» Well, that taught 'em

Dance Teachers, dont mess with 'em
In my highschool years i took up dance class (yes, a male who did dance). Our teacher was a big black man with a massive lisp and wore purple shirts... suprisingly he was straight and had a FOXY wife. Anywho, his favourite story was in his youth when racism was at large.

Two aboriginals (oh the irony) called out "hey blacky" then proceeded to jump him. Him, being a dance teacher and a black belt, broke one guy's ribs and broke the other's jaw.

This teacher was also able to lift me over his head (I weigh 100kilos). Scary stuff
(Mon 30th Apr 2007, 15:00, More)

» Toilets

Female owned companies
i had to run some errand to a work place in subiaco (its a suburb of perth in australia for anyone who doesnt know).
Anywho i drop off the package to the guy and realise how badly i need to piss. he points in the direction of the toilets.

it looked terrible from the outside. i braced myself for the stench on the inside.

i walked in and it was like the perfume section of myer. it smelt like heaven. the toilets were heaps clean. there was hair gel, shaving foam, dental floss and everything at the sink. it was the happiest day of my life
(Sun 4th Sep 2005, 15:24, More)

» Rock and Roll Stories

Party.. for them
I was recently hosting a party with a few mates around. 4 of them are in a band, 1 dude and 3 women. Sounds fair seeings there were other people at the party too.

This of course got out of hand, upon opening the door to one of the rooms in my house i find all four of them in 1 bed making the bear with 4 backs. Completely stark naked.

My mate notices me, looks up and calmly goes "It's ok Kyle, we're in a band". Bloody lucky. I'll get hime back one day
(Tue 4th Jul 2006, 14:04, More)
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