b3ta.com user Manic
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for Manic:
Profile Info:

I blog regularly @ bloggerheads.com

If you need more information, it's probably there or on my twitter channel:

Recent front page messages:

(caution: contains actual news of a topical nature)

(Tue 12th Jul 2011, 16:21, More)

There goes the neighbourhood

(Mon 29th Dec 2008, 13:54, More)

Mamma mia!

soz for size.
(Fri 22nd Jun 2007, 12:26, More)


(Wed 6th Jun 2007, 11:00, More)

"A man face you, he is enemy..."

(Tue 27th Mar 2007, 14:00, More)

Oh, say what you seeee....

(Thu 11th Jan 2007, 14:46, More)

Bonnie Prescott

(Fri 19th May 2006, 12:29, More)


(Mon 23rd Jan 2006, 13:16, More)

tell me I'm not alone

fp! woo! click for bigness
(Tue 31st May 2005, 12:31, More)

click to embiggen

(Fri 12th Nov 2004, 13:45, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Messing with the Dark Side

A quick tip
When you find youself in charge of a fog machine for the weekend, don't use it to 'set the mood' while watching The Exorcist.

Just don't.

(Fri 21st Apr 2006, 15:47, More)

» Secret Santa

Works for girlfriends and wives, too.... once.
Mainly because - if you're a man with no track-record - they're half-expecting a really crap gift from you. Same goes for Secret Santas, I guess - so here goes:

1. You know what they say about the thought counting for something? Well, fuck me if it isn't true. Put some thought into your present. By choosing something clever/appropriate, you can squeeze a lot out of £5. Acutally, make that £4.50...

2. Pop along to your nearest charity store or boot sale and pick up an old jigsaw puzzle for 50p. If it doesn't have a price sticker, add one and the text '5 pieces missing'... then pop the actual gift (something *decent*, remember) inside the box, mix it in with the jigsaw pieces and wrap the lot in obviously-recycled Christmas wrap.

They'll think you've bought them crap, but inside will be something lovely. They'll never forget it.
(Fri 15th Dec 2006, 17:57, More)

» Clients Are Stupid

I designed a draft website for a nightclub manager
and burned it onto a floppy disk so I could show it to him at his office.

A lot of makey-uppey text was needed in the early stages, so I had them playing host to Oasis on Friday and Blur on Saturday - with £1 entry and free drinks.

I pop the disk in, open the index page with a browser and leave him to it for a bit. He looks at the draft site and clicks around happily for a bit, then gets to the upcoming gigs page:

Him: Are you mad? You can't print (sic) this! How long has this page been here?
Me: Since I built it. Yesterday.
Him: Can we delete it? If we're lucky, no-one's seen it yet.
Me: Nobody *can* see it. It's not live.
Him: I can see it!
Me: You're viewing it from a disk.
Him: But it's a web page, right?
Me: Well, yes.
Him: So anybody on the web can see it!
Me: No, they can't - not without the disk I gave you.
Him: But you can buy them anywhere!
(Tue 30th Dec 2003, 13:38, More)

» Out of my depth

I lived in Sydney and went on holiday; met a girl from Melbourne
and next holiday, went to stay with her. She lived on a farm.

Horses? Oh, yes. Knew all about them. No problem. Vaulted on board, trotted along and then committed the sin of turning the horse towards its stable. It bolted towards its main source of food and I fell. Hard.

Next day. On the coast...

Windsurfing? Oh, yes. Knew all about that. No problem. Got on board and cruised along with the wind - but had never tacked in my life. Tried putting the sail down (draaag) and paddling against the current. In the end they had to bring a small boat out and tow me back to shore.

Before I left for home, she bought me a pack of tampons, explaining that with these, I could go swimming, I could go sailing, I could go horse-back riding...
(Sat 16th Oct 2004, 14:57, More)

» Job Interviews

Into the room
greeting, pre-amble, standard line of questioning, got all the important bits right... then there was this right at the end:

"Now, what's my first name?"


For the record, I didn't get that job. But my wife stuck with me even though I'd forgotten *her* name on our first date.
(Thu 20th Jan 2005, 17:40, More)
[read all their answers]