(caution: contains actual news of a topical nature)

(Tue 12th Jul 2011, 16:21, More)

There goes the neighbourhood

(Mon 29th Dec 2008, 13:54, More)

Mamma mia!


soz for size.
(Fri 22nd Jun 2007, 12:26, More)

.

(Wed 6th Jun 2007, 11:00, More)

"A man face you, he is enemy..."

(Tue 27th Mar 2007, 14:00, More)

Oh, say what you seeee....

(Thu 11th Jan 2007, 14:46, More)

Bonnie Prescott

(Fri 19th May 2006, 12:29, More)

...

(Mon 23rd Jan 2006, 13:16, More)

tell me I'm not alone


fp! woo! click for bigness
(Tue 31st May 2005, 12:31, More)

click to embiggen

(Fri 12th Nov 2004, 13:45, More)

The Rapture is coming
and it's going to be snack-tastic!



Inspired by www.punkasspunk.com/snackinjesus/index.php
(Wed 26th May 2004, 13:25, More)

Coming soon to a bedside table near you
(click for bigness)


(Fri 26th Mar 2004, 14:01, More)

Click for mighty bigness

(Wed 10th Mar 2004, 9:33, More)

"Riggs!"
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggs!"


(Fri 27th Feb 2004, 16:44, More)

If I had a hammer...
(Well, a magic marker...)


(Mon 19th Jan 2004, 12:59, More)

A scan of Page 3
from tomorrow's super soaraway Sun


(Tue 13th Jan 2004, 12:40, More)

Ha-ha! I scared you!

(Tue 23rd Dec 2003, 13:17, More)

Yarrrrr

(Fri 19th Sep 2003, 12:45, More)

"Who is she? She's beautiful!"

(Fri 29th Aug 2003, 13:43, More)

The London Peace March was kickin'

(Mon 18th Aug 2003, 11:48, More)

Raaaaaaaaaaawrgh!

(Tue 29th Jul 2003, 9:30, More)

....

(Fri 18th Jul 2003, 12:25, More)

A good thing
they cleared the road when they did:


(Thu 23rd Jan 2003, 22:35, More)

Done?
Click for biggie
(Thu 23rd Jan 2003, 21:56, More)

"I've got a bad feeling about this..."


Click for biggie
(Thu 9th Jan 2003, 9:58, More)

For Darth Maul, the dream was over...

(Thu 28th Nov 2002, 13:33, More)

Just to be difficult....


;o)
(Thu 28th Nov 2002, 10:39, More)

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy, the Force is with you!
I may well go for the hat-trick on this image tomorrow, but I have the feeling this version is going to be hard to top.

(Wed 27th Nov 2002, 9:37, More)

Yesterday was mostly London
Today shall be mostly flying canines

(Wed 6th Nov 2002, 10:09, More)

Things move pretty fast in London

(Tue 5th Nov 2002, 14:22, More)

As unlikely as it sounds, Captain,
it appears that we have indeed reached the very edge of reality...


(Wed 2nd Oct 2002, 11:40, More)

spent far too long on this
(as the saying goes)



(In case you're wondering, Lazenby's down there buried under the rubble)
(Mon 30th Sep 2002, 12:43, More)

God bless that little grey man

(Mon 30th Sep 2002, 10:24, More)

Elvis in a Landspeeder


There's a better version of this here
;o)
(Tue 24th Sep 2002, 13:58, More)

The Imperial fleet is in range
last bets, please...


(Mon 23rd Sep 2002, 14:58, More)

Kids say the funniest things...

(Tue 17th Sep 2002, 9:39, More)

You couldn't make it up!
But you could animate it if you wanted to...

(Mon 16th Sep 2002, 12:26, More)

when memes collide

(Thu 12th Sep 2002, 13:17, More)

too soon?

(Fri 30th Aug 2002, 10:06, More)

and you thought YOU (oh, I don't know why I bother, really...)

(Wed 21st Aug 2002, 14:30, More)

Thank you, Mr Fancyteeth
Tube travel need never be dull again!


(Tue 20th Aug 2002, 13:25, More)

The next day, Jeff mailed his coupon
and signed up for the Charles Atlas Advanced Potatoshopping Course.
In time, he was strong enough to bench-press 30 layers of kittens.

(Tue 6th Aug 2002, 16:30, More)

again, it had to be done...

(Fri 2nd Aug 2002, 10:41, More)

tragedy strikes as chute fails to load

(Fri 7th Jun 2002, 13:06, More)

Jesus!

(Mon 22nd Apr 2002, 14:53, More)

"that pic of pickled pizza"
... is not only hard to say, it reminds me of something...

(Mon 22nd Apr 2002, 14:23, More)

My Imaginary Fwiend

(Mon 15th Apr 2002, 10:18, More)

REMEMBER! If you smile at this, you're going to hell with me!

(Fri 12th Apr 2002, 14:12, More)

Frank the cat is evil!
Frank The Cat is evil. I have proof. Just look into those eyes!

(Thu 14th Mar 2002, 6:47, More)

gurgle

(Wed 13th Feb 2002, 6:19, More)

Friday afternoon and feeling toey...

(Fri 1st Feb 2002, 11:00, More)

well shut my mouth
Spoke too soon, didn't I?

(Fri 1st Feb 2002, 8:41, More)

Well don't let me stop you
After this obvious one, I'm stumped:

(Fri 1st Feb 2002, 8:16, More)

Thatcher statue
Any takers?

(Fri 1st Feb 2002, 7:58, More)

Jesus, Carol!

(Fri 14th Dec 2001, 6:29, More)

» Messing with the Dark Side

A quick tip
When you find youself in charge of a fog machine for the weekend, don't use it to 'set the mood' while watching The Exorcist.

Just don't.

Seriously.
(Fri 21st Apr 2006, 15:47, More)

» Secret Santa

Works for girlfriends and wives, too.... once.
Mainly because - if you're a man with no track-record - they're half-expecting a really crap gift from you. Same goes for Secret Santas, I guess - so here goes:

1. You know what they say about the thought counting for something? Well, fuck me if it isn't true. Put some thought into your present. By choosing something clever/appropriate, you can squeeze a lot out of £5. Acutally, make that £4.50...

2. Pop along to your nearest charity store or boot sale and pick up an old jigsaw puzzle for 50p. If it doesn't have a price sticker, add one and the text '5 pieces missing'... then pop the actual gift (something *decent*, remember) inside the box, mix it in with the jigsaw pieces and wrap the lot in obviously-recycled Christmas wrap.

They'll think you've bought them crap, but inside will be something lovely. They'll never forget it.
(Fri 15th Dec 2006, 17:57, More)

» Clients Are Stupid

I designed a draft website for a nightclub manager
and burned it onto a floppy disk so I could show it to him at his office.

A lot of makey-uppey text was needed in the early stages, so I had them playing host to Oasis on Friday and Blur on Saturday - with £1 entry and free drinks.

I pop the disk in, open the index page with a browser and leave him to it for a bit. He looks at the draft site and clicks around happily for a bit, then gets to the upcoming gigs page:

Him: Are you mad? You can't print (sic) this! How long has this page been here?
Me: Since I built it. Yesterday.
Him: Can we delete it? If we're lucky, no-one's seen it yet.
Me: Nobody *can* see it. It's not live.
Him: I can see it!
Me: You're viewing it from a disk.
Him: But it's a web page, right?
Me: Well, yes.
Him: So anybody on the web can see it!
Me: No, they can't - not without the disk I gave you.
Him: But you can buy them anywhere!
(Tue 30th Dec 2003, 13:38, More)

» Out of my depth

I lived in Sydney and went on holiday; met a girl from Melbourne
and next holiday, went to stay with her. She lived on a farm.

Horses? Oh, yes. Knew all about them. No problem. Vaulted on board, trotted along and then committed the sin of turning the horse towards its stable. It bolted towards its main source of food and I fell. Hard.

Next day. On the coast...

Windsurfing? Oh, yes. Knew all about that. No problem. Got on board and cruised along with the wind - but had never tacked in my life. Tried putting the sail down (draaag) and paddling against the current. In the end they had to bring a small boat out and tow me back to shore.

Before I left for home, she bought me a pack of tampons, explaining that with these, I could go swimming, I could go sailing, I could go horse-back riding...
(Sat 16th Oct 2004, 14:57, More)

» Job Interviews

Into the room
greeting, pre-amble, standard line of questioning, got all the important bits right... then there was this right at the end:

"Now, what's my first name?"

Damn.

For the record, I didn't get that job. But my wife stuck with me even though I'd forgotten *her* name on our first date.
(Thu 20th Jan 2005, 17:40, More)