A small no. of users seem to be here just to stir shit and pointlessly abuse posters whilst being ignorant
of the fact that this site is specifically here for users to post amusing stories they (may) have experienced based on the question or topic nominated each week.

Meh, waddaya gonna do?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 7:19, 55 replies)

Keyword there is amusing.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 7:21, closed)

Oh ffs.
Hook, line & fucking sinker. Straight away.

Jesus, if I had this much luck playing lotto I'd be an even richer man than I am already!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 7:28, closed)

How dare I post a reply to something you posted purely because I posted something and you knew I was around.
I'll kill myself immediately.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 7:43, closed)

Sugarlips, if we weren't half a world apart & the missus wasn't due back from picking the bairn up from school & you were less homely
I'd tear down your trackies and y-fronts, bend you over the kitchen bench and fuck you right now.

*Sits back and waits for AB or Rory to jump in with an OKCupid ref.*
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 7:56, closed)

Is that a quote
FROM YOUR BOOK????
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 7:30, closed)

No.
Unlike you I haven't written a book (that I'm really not that interested in and will never buy) but then neither have I used b3ta to plug my book (that as of now doesn't exist) either. So....
Nice marketing ploy you seem to have going here. WOA - you might want to plug your book elsewhere if you want to see the sales rocket into the stratosphere.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 7:34, closed)

Are you telling me
he wrote a book?

I was not aware of that.
(username failed moderation, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:18, closed)

Ask Battered for where to get it on Amazon. He'll know ;-)

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:43, closed)

If it was it'd no doubt be better than anything fr-oh I can't even be arsed.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 7:44, closed)

Thank you self appointed moral guardian of qotweak
Got any affairs going on, you know behind your wifes back? I've heard of dropping a couple of years for the purposes of dating sites, but you seem to have dropped about twenty, has anyone had the heart to mention that?
cheers x
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 7:57, closed)

See above.
Don't really get the age thingy tho - I really am turning 40 in Dec. I f you want I'll gaz you the date so you can wish me a Happy Birthday if you like.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:02, closed)

Note how he dodged the question about infidelity, ladies and gentlemen.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:03, closed)

funny that eh

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:05, closed)

Interesting.
If you imagine for a second that I'm going to talk b3ta about my marital status you really are as thick as you come across as.
Why don't we discuss yours. Or are you really an internet-obsessed virgin?


Suffice to say I'm quite happy, secure and comfortable with my relationship with my missus.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:16, closed)

We should call this
rory/braindead tennis.

They tend to play the same shots over and over again, but at least it's easy to get a game going.
(username failed moderation, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:20, closed)

'My wife won't have sex with me so I'm reduced to fucking prostitutes and being rejected on okcupid' tennis eh !!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:28, closed)

Never paid for it.
Have been offered money tho.

Turned it down. As you do.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:35, closed)

"Please, take my purse, just don't rape me!"

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:44, closed)

No, all the sex I've ever had has been consensual.
Might want to ask the mod-pricks if that post is step-worthy if I were you.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:50, closed)

Probably is, someone from /talk posted it.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 11:19, closed)

This made me laugh.
lol, as it were.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 9:08, closed)

Foot fault!

(username failed moderation, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 9:10, closed)

Nice.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 9:11, closed)

Hah

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 9:17, closed)

I'm enjoying it.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:41, closed)

We can talk about mine if you like. I'm getting divorced and I've been with my girlfriend for six months.
I've never felt the need to cheat on someone, let alone set up an internet dating profile to do so, mind.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:30, closed)

No kids?
Divorce is divorce (never been thru it but seen the detritus) - hope yours is clean and not messy, hence the question about kids.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:39, closed)

One kid, all amicable, no fuss.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 11:20, closed)

Cool.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 12:47, closed)

You could easily pass for someone hitting sixty you fat stupid wanker

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:05, closed)

Why, thank you.
I have been told in the past that I look quite distinguished.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:17, closed)

Pfffffft
I suppose the bar is quite low in Oz.
(BlondeBombshell Small but perfectly formed., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:32, closed)

Like you'd get a look in.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:40, closed)

Quite, you must have a list of internet women who want to shag you as long as your nob.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 11:02, closed)

True
Seeing as the only thing you know about me is that I've got tits and no knob, your reply is quite telling.
(BlondeBombshell Small but perfectly formed., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 11:43, closed)

In what way?
EDIT: I don't really get this thing where you seem to think that I'm somehow interested in you (sexually or otherwise). It's not the first time that you've insinuated that I seem to be keen on you.

Just to be clear - YOU ARE A STRANGER ON THE INTERNET & I AM IN NO WAY INTERESTED IN PURSUING ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 12:49, closed)

Don't flatter yourself
I have never once thought you'd be interested in me, and God I certainly wouldn't touch you with a barge pole.

Taking your picture into account, and how you conduct yourself on the internet, to be honest I'm surprised anyone would want to actually meet you in person.

I just though it was funny how you are automatically offensive when you know nothing about someone. Your replies are more telling than you think they are.
(BlondeBombshell Small but perfectly formed., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 13:03, closed)

I like this.
Nearly as lacking in self-awareness as his fellow troll The Mock Turtle.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:54, closed)

Why respond?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 21:29, closed)

I could ask the same of you.
I'm not that bothered to change my sig to have your name in it though.

Ah bless, have I upset the tubby little Ringo?
(BlondeBombshell Small but perfectly formed., Thu 6 Sep 2012, 6:53, closed)

No.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 6 Sep 2012, 9:22, closed)

That's usually just a polite way of telling you that you've gone prematurely gray.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:35, closed)

About 25 when it started to creep into my beard.
So yeah, maybe.
Not so much "salt and pepper" as "Whitebeard" now.
When I've threatened to shave, the missus and daughter have howled in protest.

I've also got a pretty big bald spot at the back of my head.

EDIT: a pretty important comma after "shave".
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:39, closed)

If only I could buy bait like this when I go fishing.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:18, closed)

Taking the piss, on a comedy website devoted to taking the piss?
I'll assume that you're taking the piss.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 9:07, closed)

Moi?
Like I would stoop to such levels.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 9:13, closed)

The prostrate lover, when he lowest lies,
But stoops to conquer, and but kneels to rise.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 9:55, closed)

Fuck me Oz highschool must be parochial.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 10:09, closed)

*generic response
insinuating that Aussies are thick*
Racism-lol.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 14:07, closed)

Apparently we're quite good at taking the piss out of ourselves
too!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 21:34, closed)

Sir!
Well said.
(McChinaman banned, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 9:10, closed)

Arguing...
internet... something, something...
retarded.
(minimalist ..., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 12:48, closed)

The cut of your jib
is something that I like.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 12:50, closed)

Alright ringo,
I became a half-Aussie today. So tell me, are the flies as bad as they are round here?
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 14:55, closed)

Always.
Unless you're in Qld, they're just bigger there that's why no-one in Qld opens their mouths too much when they talk.
Ask Ken - he'll tell ya.

Welcome to the club btw.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 21:27, closed)