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This is a question Body Horror

Mictoboy writes, "I once picked a spot on my cheek only for a half-inch long ingrown hair to coil out covered in pus."

How has your own body made you recoil in disgust?

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:02)
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Kippers Vindaloo
After a round of watching Red Dwarf while drunk, a mate and I decided to try all the joke recipes mentioned. The Triple-Decker Fried Egg Sandwich with Chilli Sauce and Chutney was wonderful, the Gazpacho Soup was indeed better warmed up, and Beer flavoured Milkshake was pretty nasty. But the true revelation was Kippers Vindaloo.

Kippers Vindaloo. Food of the Gods. The combination of pungent smoked fish and hot curry was divine, and has become a near-mythical perfect food. In fact I quite fancy one now.

However.

The next day, sweet jesus on a stick! The farts! They smelled like something diseased had crawled up your arse and died. The air was turning greenish and felt greasy; it made your eyes water and plants wilt. Have you ever tried to get away from your own arse?
(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 11:40, closed)
Everything I make is "Kippers" something.
I may give this one a miss though, on advisement of the Mrs.
(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 11:52, closed)
Click for 'have you ever tried to get away from your own arse?'

(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:22, closed)
^that

(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:43, closed)
^this

(, Sat 13 Jul 2013, 11:41, closed)
^ nuff said

(, Sun 14 Jul 2013, 23:03, closed)
Always wanted to try 'The Triple-Decker Fried Egg Sandwich with Chilli Sauce and Chutney'
Curry sounds pretty lush too, I find you need strong flavours for good curry; why I always have lamb as opposed to poor man's chicken.
(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:36, closed)
the triple fried egg sarnie is a true delight

(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 13:32, closed)
The other morning I was making a cup of tea in the kitchen and I let one go
It was so rotten that on the way back from the kitchen to the bedroom I doubled up coughing, spilling tea all over the hallway carpet, then I had to explain to the missus how it happened :(
(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:37, closed)
You never mind the smell of your own.
A fart has to be pretty foul to overcome mothers love.
(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:43, closed)
*That's* how bad it was

To paraphrase Ben Elton: "Farts are like kids: you quite like your own".
(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 16:25, closed)
Ale
Substantial quantities of ale, from a barrel that hadn't settled properly. This has happened on a couple of occasions, both stag weekends where buying beer by the barrel seemed like a good move.

The next morning, if I could have, I'd have detached my arse and buried it.
(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:59, closed)
sprouts,pints and pints of mild, chicken bhuna from the Kashmir in Bradford and
lots of milk creates a most unpleasant odour from the bowels. Actually causing others to vomit and near vomit.
(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 13:05, closed)
cheap cider
produces farts that are not only vile, but leave a lingering odour of stale apples dipped in sewage.
(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 13:33, closed)
You do realise that Gazpacho soup is a real thing,
and not a "joke recipe" invented by Grant Naylor?
(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 14:51, closed)
Yes, of course. The joke part was eating it hot.

(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 16:24, closed)
Tomato soup?
Kerazy!
(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 21:12, closed)
what?

(, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 16:36, closed)

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