Ambition granted
Growing up in Thatcher's Britain as one of the GCSE guinea pigs I naturally wanted to become a millionaire.

It's not quite what I thought it would be….
(bridggar, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:41, Reply)

A Biker
I always loved seeing motorbikes as a lad and my dad would always love to drag me away from them (I think one of his best mates got killed on one). As soon as I got a propper job after leaving home and educating myself I enrolled on a direct access course, got my license and proceeded to the nearest bike shop with my pay cheque.

I definitely had some great years and journeys on my bike but my interest started to wain because of:
a) British weather.
b) Spanish drivers.
e) British drivers.
c) Bristol traffic.
d) About half an hour to get your gear on and off, lock/unlock bike, lock/unlock garden gate to find out that you have left your earplugs inside and could really do with a shit before setting off.
e) Tankslappers.
f) putting your back out while heaving the damn thing around.
g) And finally, I went along to see about joining a Bike club in Swindon. I was the only one who turned up on my bike. The members I met seemed to have limps, pins, plates and worst of all seemed to relish the memory of 'pegging out naked on the ground' any new members who went along to one of their biker/camping weekends. These were grown men age 40+

Never did go back.
(JuanTheMan "hair-color:#FF6600", Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:41, Reply)

elephants
when i was small and furry, about 5 or 6 i think, i wanted to be an elephant cleaner at the zoo, i was very serious about this goal, and practiced every day by cleaning out the soap dish when i was in the bath (i'm not entirely sure now of the logic behind this as training, but i'm sure it would have looked just fabulous on my cv)
some 17 years later, i now want to work with monkeys.... i've just moved to the other end of the zoo really havent i....
(skankgirl, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:38, Reply)

I don't know how I'm going to do it

but when I grow up, I'm going to prove that Jewish men can be sexy. As sure as my name's Ron Jeremy Hyatt.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:32, Reply)

I recently turned 30...
i still have no idea what i want to do when i grow up, but than i have absolutely no ambition to do anything in life. Some may see this as tragic and sad yet i am quite happy wallowing in my own stink.

Actually i'd quite like to be a Sloth but even with the most vivid imagination i find this unlikely.
(i anglepoise, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:32, Reply)

My sister
My sister (aged about 7 at the time) announced that when she was older, she was going to chew chewing gum, wear high heels and have tattoos.

She has achieved all 3 so must live her life in a state of absolute bliss.

Cheers
(brocky, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:31, Reply)

when I was young

I wanted to bring the funk down y'know? Make everybody clap their hands and get their groove thang on.

I don't know where it all went wrong.

signed,
Leonard Cohen.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:30, Reply)

When I was 14
I decided I wanted to be an accountant as someone told me there was a lot of money in it.
So when it was time to pick a career for school work experience week I wrote to an accountancy company and got taken on for a week.

I was there for 3 days as they took the first 2 off due to one of them being a bank holiday.
3 days convinced me more than anything in the world that I never even wanted to do my own accounts, let alone anyone elses.

I was SO fucking bored I removed the contents of my pencil case to see if I could insert it into my hair. I could.
( Weetobix, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:27, Reply)

Doctor
I wanted to be a doctor until at the tender age of 12 my biology teacher brought along this huge pig's lung in a bowl of smelly fluid (although on second thought it might not have been the fluid that smelt) and invited us to prod it to our hearts' content. That was the day I realised I'm squeamish...
(sooo special no-one does getting lost like i do, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:24, Reply)

Modern day Disney classic
My little girl (aged 4 at the time) was asked what she wanted to do when she was older. Her reply "I'll walk through the woods, blow my nose and then marry a prince".

Took us weeks to suss out the logic in that one until we saw Sleeping Beauty, where the princess loses her handkerchief in the forest which the handsome prince finds, he then tracks her down, gives her a kiss to wake her from her slumber and they live happily ever after.

Not sure that relying on some random bloke stalking her and picking up an old snotrag is a wise choice of career, but who am I to argue.

Cheers
(brocky, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:22, Reply)

The need...for speed!
I wanted to be a fighter pilot. Sadly, I have fucking chronic asthma, so my chances of pulling negative inverted g's in a hell fire dogfight are limited to Afterburner.
Actual career? I.T. Support. Get in...
(Damn_you_Cillit_Bang, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:21, Reply)

coincidental!!
I too longed to be famous for potions and chemicals and such like.

This all began as I closed my copy of Roald Dahls 'Georges marvellous medicine' proclaiming it to be a great read and I was off upstairs to do some 'research' into my new found aim in life.

I spent a few hours putteng EVERY BOTTLE OF EVERYTHING in the house IN THE BATH and mixing it around using Unstablemums besterest wooden spoon.

Things went wrong thusly,

*Unstablemum had to unscrew the lock on the bathroom door as I had passed out due to the noxious fumes, twatting my head on the sink in the process.

*Concussion ensued.

*The bath was stained a lovely delicate blue.

*I had no pocket money for WEEKS.

*The bathroom took months before it smelt normal, the fumes having infiltrated the carpet and the wallpaper.

I never mixed anything again.
Till I found alcohol.
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:17, Reply)

no future
When I was nine, I told a school teacher that I didn't want to work because it was clearly a waste of one's life. She laughed and told me I'd soon change my mind. Not yet, I haven't. I have been fired from almost every job I've done. Apparently I'm apathetic and have a bad attitude. In my current job, I've been told I'll be fired in a month unless I buck my ideas up.

I told my careers teacher that I wanted to be a writer. He laughed and suggested that I become an accountant (not a careers teacher, I noted). So I worked in a shop, then I taught English to foreigners. Then I finally became a 'writer' - at this moment I'm working on a fascinating article on how the Legal Services Bill will affect lawyers [any opinions Rachelswipe?]. I'm almost creaming my pants with excitement.

But I'm going to be a published author, you just wait and see. The world will cower before my talent and JK Rowling will ask to borrow money from me. You wait - world domination!
(frankspencer, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:16, Reply)

Just one thing...very strange
No, my ambition wasn't to be very strange. It was to be a pharmacist - I'd mix up random chemicals at home and make a hell of a mess...well, tomato sauce and mayo mostly, but meh :P. I was actually not too bad at science, but during my A-level years I became fascinated by people (loner, people watcher etc...*sigh*) and so concentrated my efforts on Theology.

That was crap. Apologies for the wasted length.
( its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:10, Reply)

prudential adverts
I want to be a tree
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:06, Reply)

MArine Biologist
When I started Infant School in 1984 our teacher asked the class what we wwanted to be when we grew up, there were a few footballers, several nurses, a train driver or two and me, I answered " I want to be a Marine Biologist and study sharks.

My teacher was well impressed by this.

22 years later (my god has it been that long?) i have done a BSc honours in Zoology at Uni (I would have done the Marine Biology option but i would have meant living in the Isle of Man for a year, no offence to the MAnx but i spent a month in the Island studying Coastal Ecology and Oceanography etc and i was bored off my tits, i ended up tuning to alcohol more than usual and to be honest I dont think I would have been welcomed back anyway!) but am stuck in a dead end college being a programme administrator to a load of 14 16 year olds.

Thinking of it that way i might go back to uni.........................
(superkitty is neither super nor a kitty, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:05, Reply)

Astronaut
Yeah, my heroes growing up were people like Neil Armstrong, John Glenn and Buzz Aldrin. I too wanted to ride on a fuck off pointy rocket and see the many wonders which exist beyond the soggy grey clouds which dominated my mood here on terra firma, to boldy go... Etc, etc.

Then as a teenager I started to read about their character flaws, Aldrin's much publicized breakdown and alcohol abuse and in general their collective inability to articulate their experiences (save Alan Bean, who paints moonscapes. Lots and lots of moonscapes. And then goes to paint some more pictures of the moon). Armstrong himself was not only ginger but also unable to exclaim "woohoo, I'm standing on the fucking moon! Hey Buzz, stop whining about coming second you cunt and break open the crate of Fosters!" which is what I would have probably used in place of the "one small step..." speech.

I doubt whether NASA would be impressed with the excuse "Sorry chaps, I didn't mean to forget to take the 137 pictures of a footprint and make detailed notes about bits of grey rock, but I was too busy sketching pictures of knobs in the dust which will be there for millions of years. Perhaps handbrake turning the moon buggy wasn't the brightest of plans, but it's not as if we were going to be using it again is it?".

You're free to draw your own conclusions as to the sanity of the type of individual who'll strap an 111 metre tube containing liquid oxygen and hydrogen to his arse knowing the following worrying facts:

a) each of the million moving parts was built by the lowest bidder. It'd be akin to Fiat building a nuclear carrier.
b) A 0.01% component failure rate would mean 1000 things would go tits up when you least needed it
c) The total amount of energy expended in getting your arse to the moon and back is equivalent to the Hiroshima A-bomb and if it went "pop" during the launch the end result would be very messy indeed
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:03, Reply)

Too tall to be a fighter pilot
After reading lots of biggles books and making many airfix planes as a boy I really really really wanted to be a fighter pilot... until I grew too tall - If you're over 6 foot tall before you have to use the rocket-powered ejector seat, you will be the right size after you use it. Didn't fancy the horrible burns you get if you're shot down either. Apparently modern plastic surgery techniques were refined on WWII fighter pilots, who came to be known as the Guinea Pigs.

Would have been cool to have a moustache and call everyone Dusty and Algy though...
( Prof. Piehead, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 14:00, Reply)

bourbon biscuits
when i was little the pinnacle of my ambition was to be able to bite the top biscuit layer off a bourbon biscuit without breaking it or leaving any biscuit rocks stuck to the squishy middle bit, so that I would be able to feast solely on the squishy sweet tasty middle bit without any of the boring biscuit contaminating it.

i still haven't done it, but practice makes perfect.

i'm 34 stone now. and a failure. bugger.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:58, Reply)

Angrymanxman
You obviously have a very deluded view of British farmers.

I suggest you actually check your facts before opening your mouth, as it smells very much like the shit you reckon that farmers feed to the animals. Tosspot.

I wanted to be an armed copper, having spent 3 years after graduation trying to get what I thought was a decent graduate job, I'm condsidering jacking it in and joining the boys in blue. Now wheres my gun?
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:57, Reply)

well this is bad . .
I wanted to be a stock broker when I grew up, being an impressionable young adult in the 80's with sharp suits, breeze block phones, Porsches & attractive women with 24 layers of make-up and huge shoulder pads these things go through your mind.

I now want to be a hermit, for around £40k a year please.

future ambition in around ten years is that i DONT want to be old, fat, single and still living in rented accomodation
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:53, Reply)

Sour Grapes... you had better bloody believe it!
I was coming up to choose my subjects and do the career development bollox just as the .com boom was at it's peak.

Being able to work with computers was presented as the holy grail of employment, while the geeks, although exiled into the back rooms of companies, wrote their own checks and made up the figures needed as they went along. Teachers, parents and random folk you had never met before would announce "their is money in computers".

I learnt everything there was to know about networking PC's (on coaxial, when it was a skill to maintain a network!), taught by my older friends and cousins who were making a mint doing what they would be doing at home anyway. Then out came Megashafts "Windows 95" midst a hail of bells and whistles, simplifying the skilled jobs of thousands of geeks. and opening up the IT world to to any fucking idiot who was able to fill out an exam sheet. Qualifications became the buzzword for getting the same jobs where a genuine interest and actual knowledge would normally suffice.

Most SysAdmin's today believe themselves superior due to them being able to click "next" on a set up wizard and having a certificate to prove it, and workplaces are now flooded with amateur tinkerers who feel pride in assembling their own PC, failing to realise that building one today is akin to putting the different shapes into the right hole on a kids toy.

Woo!

There's money in plumbing!


Don't make me angry, it gets bigger when am angry!
( BulldogUgly Visit my profile to see what's between my legs, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:52, Reply)

Policeman, Fireman, Astronought, Soldier & Train Driver
At the tender age of six and sitting on the knee of the doctor who'd just diagnosed me as being stone deaf in one ear I was asked what I'd like to be when I grew up. The sadistic fucker must have known that the majority of the things I was going to come up with would be precluded due the what he'd just diagnosed but still he asked and still said "No you can't do that" to each in turn until I got to train driver (Casey Jones Styley) which he said "Oh you can do that!". The Fucker it wasn't until years later I realised what a sad bunch of tards Train drivers really are.

I was quite glad to find out he'd died of Sclerosis of the liver (Which normally I wouldn't wish on anyone) not for the crushing of any ambitions I had at a tender age but because the incompetent cunt essentially killed my father by misdiagnosing his cancer on almost a weekly basis for 5 years as stomach ache and trying to skive off work. When it was finally diagnosed he only had 2 weeks to live.

Apologise for length/girth??? DILIGAF!
( Big Ian has stopped changing his sig, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:51, Reply)

To be a vet
And I'm going the long, dragging my feet about it way. Heh.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:50, Reply)

My ambition is still to be
I have not grown up yet, and just do the day job as i have to pay bills.

I want to be a wise old hermit living in a remote cave whom people travel to consult with for sage advice.

i don't think its as easy as it sounds. I have never once seen it advertised unless they have their own trade mags and its an old hermits club.

looks like i may be 300 years past cave dwelling hermits and 300 years before i am wise enough. This leaves me well stuck.
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:38, Reply)

Be anything you want to be
my aunt thought she was going to be a horse when she grew up.

She was 10. and has made little progress since.

Just simply - how?
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:34, Reply)

morbid
when i was a child i wanted to be a forensic scientist so i could work with dead people. i also applied for my year 10 work experience place at a funeral directors but they said i'd get too disturbed.

have now realised what a strange child i was, so now am planning to be a teacher and subject lots of children to my oddness. woot for oddball teachers!
(mcspannered yes m'lord, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:33, Reply)

Astronaut
The Apollo moon landings were happening when I was a kid and I was desperate to be an astronaut. It looked such a lot of fun, bouncing around on the moon while the world watched. But, as it turns out, I don't like heights, I don't like falling and hate the tamest of fairground rides. Not really suited to riding around in rockets in that case. Not that I think sitting at the top of a pointy metal tube full of explosives is exactly safe in any case.

I also had an ambition to marry the Queen, as a lazy little bugger's route to fame and fortune. Instead, my dears, I became a queen, which didn't give me fame or fortune but is probably a lot more fun.
(BearWithLittleBrain, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:28, Reply)

Deanna Troi, Government Counsellor
My ambition since I was just a slip of a girl was to be a psychologist. Being off my rocker myself, I was confident I would be able to understand and assist others in the same condition.

University killed the dream. First, the head of the Psychology Dept. was known informally as "Dr. Katzenratz" for his propensity to extol the virtues of attaching electrodes to the brains of small furry creatures. All for science of course, but I found myself a bit at odds with that way of thinking. Secondly, I failed Statistics class (entirely the fault of my dyscalculia, my hormones, and a handsome distraction named Mark.)

I now work for the government and have to practically hit my co-workers to get them to stop telling me their problems. Yes, I am an excellent counsellor, but they're only paying me to be a clerk so: until you lot are willing to pay me a psychologist's salary, piss off and let me do my clerking in peace.

Thank you.
(socialised_medicine quietly returns to Saskatchewan for Lurkfest 2007, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:27, Reply)

I thought about being a journalist
Cos I was good at writing at school. I thought better of it when I got a paper round and read the lies and crap journalists write to keep their jobs. Delivering a bag full of Daily Mails, Expresses and Telegraphs every morning was like leafleting for the local Tories.
(lolwhites, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:24, Reply)