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My pal inspects factories for a living, and I shall take his expert advice to the grave: "Never eat the meat pies". Tell us the best advice you've ever received.

(, Thu 20 May 2010, 12:54)
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Do stuff, it’s easier than you think.


Join a shooting club and learn how to handle firearms – and become a real man. Go scuba diving on wrecks in the English channel. Take flying lessons. Cycle on cross country tracks. Go on an explosives course, you never know when the ability to place demolition charges may come in useful. Keep chickens if you’ve got eggs you’ve got a meal. Climb some mountains. Swim in the sea, a mile before breakfast is good. Play underwater hockey. Stop smoking now. Go paragliding it’s very relaxing. Fly in a glider. Kill it, cook it , eat it. Brew your own beer. Become a bit obsessive about cooking for a while, it’s a skill you’ll use every day. Choose something you like doing and make it your profession, even if it’s just for a couple of years. Visit a real wilderness and rely on yourself, but do have a backup plan. Use a soldering iron and build something from scratch. Learn how to plane, cut and join wood with hand tools – now you really are a man. Shear a sheep. Eat fish that’s fresh form the sea. Pull up lobster pots to keep your upper body strong. Spend time on a trawler . Row a boat with confidence.

Don’t;

Join any armed service. Watch telly much. Believe any sentence that starts “apparently” . Take any drug more than once a week. Eat industrially produced food. Tell even your closest family about the time you found a sheep tick on your foreskin.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 17:09, 23 replies)
Wow
What did you do the next weekend?!
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 17:13, closed)
Play World of Warcraft for 28 hours non-stop

(, Wed 26 May 2010, 17:17, closed)
What's a drug?

(, Wed 26 May 2010, 17:17, closed)
Everything that could be covered.
I can’t do regularly in moderation successfully, so I have to do occasionally to excess, or not at all. If I was to found dead on a piss soaked mattress in a squat, it’d be whiskey and nice fuzzy warm narcotics that would have got me.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 17:42, closed)
ONLY SLIGHTLY MASSIVE DRUGS LOL IN FACT NOT REALLY MASSIVE AT ALL SO I GUESS JUST DRUGS REALLY
LOL.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 17:27, closed)
A real man?
One who places all his power and ablity to defend or attack in a tool? A REAL man eschews guns and relies on strength, skill and speed.

If you need evidence or references, here.

gamerlimit.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/batman-04.jpg
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 17:31, closed)
You'll have to forgive StapMyVitals
...he has the biggest, most tumescent, pulsing Batman obsession the world has ever seen.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 17:40, closed)
defend...attack?
that rabbit had it comming, it was me or her.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 17:49, closed)
Also
not everyone wants to be a 'real man'. Especially if they possess no male genitalia. Maybe you should add something about realising that half the world seems to be cut out of your world view.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 20:30, closed)
The ability to adapt
and make tools is why humans have evolved so far, the other animals that still rely on strength, skill and speed are still a long way down the food chain.
(, Thu 27 May 2010, 9:42, closed)
I hardly think
that anyone can accuse Batman of not using tools.
(, Thu 27 May 2010, 10:21, closed)
So:
Live near the sea
Fly gliders
Blow shit up
Eat.

You've just listed stuff you've done. Why don't you list stuff you want to do? That might sounds a bit less narcisisss, a bit less narsisstist, a bit less up yourself.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 17:36, closed)
You want me to give advice on stuff I haven't done?
I may be a narcissist, but at least I've got the capacity for rational thought....





you cunt :)
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 17:44, closed)
well played there!
chortles...
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 20:33, closed)
Touche(but with a little accenty thing)
I like the woodworking bit though.
(, Thu 27 May 2010, 9:42, closed)
I play underwater hockey
It's great fun.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 18:03, closed)
How the fuck did you know!!??!!!
About the Sheep Tick -- I told nobody! NOBODY! Damn it!
Oh, and it wasn't on my foreskin.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 18:07, closed)
What's wrong with 'any' armed service?

(, Wed 26 May 2010, 18:34, closed)

Ive done a few of those and it hasnt made me into a man

I feel cheated
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 18:36, closed)
How on earth can you avoid eating industrially-produced food?
Apart from setting up your own farm, eating nothing but your own produce, and changing your name to Hippy McHippyface.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 20:18, closed)
slowly

I didn’t do it all at once, just chipped away at it. And not really as a lifestyle choice, just found my eating habits drifting away from industrial food. A bit of land and a fishing boat does help, but it’s not that difficult.

I love cooking and I get a lot of pleasure from using the best tastiest ingredients. My conversion started when I found my self using fewer ingredients, and at the same time getting hooked on intense flavours. Less spices and complication more stocks and reductions.

Then it’s just little steps.

Building in the extra 15 minutes it takes to prepare from scratch into the evening routine. You can keep chickens in all but the smallest garden. Make your own bread 2-3 times a week. Eat a little more seasonally.

Have some porridge instead of crunchy nut cornflakes
Eat plenty of sea food, game, organic small farm produce.
Get yourself armed and local farmers will often be happy for you to clear rabbits and pigeons from land, if you don’t fancy bunny murder they can be bought cheaply.

Grow your own veg, but again start small and join up with other growers to share the inevitable big gluts.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 21:41, closed)
So it's not an ideal solution if you live in a town centre flat, in a mostly industrial region.

(, Wed 26 May 2010, 23:20, closed)
Where do I get all the time and money to do all these things?

(, Thu 27 May 2010, 9:30, closed)

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