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This is a question Letters they'll never read

"Apologies, anger, declarations of love, things you want to say to people, but can't or didn't get the chance to." Suggestion via reducedfatLOLcat.

(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 13:56)
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Dear dyslexics,
The unforgivably excessive permutations of terminology and phraseology in the English language undoubtedly appear impenetrable to you. Etymological derivations from multitudinous antediluvian sources must engender bewilderment; to this problematic repetoire, the inexorable advancement of time bequeaths neologisms - nascent, oft-impenetrable linguistic units frequently defying logical explanation. The vagaries of the language must be vexatious to your lexically-disadvantaged prefrontal cortexes; irrespective of your valiant and most strenuous effort, abject failure to comprehend is unfortunately inevitable. In respect of your likelihood of assimilating the information contained within this unnecessarily-abstruse missive, I can only conclude – you’re fucked.

(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 22:57, closed)
This is quite possibly the best post I have ever read.

(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 23:00, closed)
Having a lot of dyslexic friends and family members
I can guarantee that they would understand this sentence just to prove you wrong. It's phrases like "Reading beading books bearing tears," that confuse.
(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 23:02, closed)
And rightly so.

(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 23:53, closed)

(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 23:56, closed)
Cortices, not cortexes. It took me a while, but even you are not above Muphry's Law.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 0:34, closed)
I blame Pinot Noir. Although, to be fair, I can count the number of times I've previously been called upon to pluralise 'prefrontal cortex' on the fingers of one foot.

But grr, well spotted, etc. I dare say there are some others, for the uber-pedantic.

(ftr, wiktionary reckons both 'cortices' and 'cortexes' are acceptable... Granted, I'm cherry-picking that result, as most other places don't)
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 0:53, closed)
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 0:44, closed)
haha, I suppose this was inevitable...
but.... but.... if one equates 'likelihood' with 'probability' - which one might well do, as they are largely interchangeable - then 'likelihood' could be assumed to run from 0 (impossible) to 1 (certain), encompassing all intermediary probabilities/likelinesses.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 1:03, closed)
I dont think im dyslexic
But I couldnt read it :(
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 1:27, closed)

(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 2:12, closed)
You rotten cunt!

(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 4:20, closed)
This is so full of win I'm going to have to go on a spree.

(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 8:30, closed)
Obfuscating diatribe
pulchritudinous (klic)
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 13:37, closed)
I take my hat off to you, Sir!
(, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 13:09, closed)
took me a while
but it was worth it! very funny sir, very funny indeed - have a Like This.
(, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 13:41, closed)

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