Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hey! You! The Rock Steady Crew!It is the weekend. How do you propose to spend it?
Personally I intend to spend it lost in an alcoholic fog, paeding up kids - unless of course my wife catches me 'in flagrante'. That would be terrible.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 9:49,
165 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I shall be sleeping, eating, boozing and taking your mum up the The Orbit Tower(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 May 2012, 9:53,
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I am proposing to spend it PROVING with SCIENCEthat Marillion were the pinnacle of musical excellence.
Although I also now want to go drink some espresso martinis thanks to Naked Ape. That wanker.
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Kroney, Fri 11 May 2012, 9:55,
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Good luck with the Marillion project.You fucking need it.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 9:57,
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His idea seems a bit fishy to me.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 May 2012, 9:58,
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*dances in stilettoes in the snow*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 9:58,
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Yes and no.I live nearer to there than I do to, say, Oslo.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:01,
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Fish has porked in itAccording to his well known autobiographical opus "Kayleigh".
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Kroney, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:02,
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Single-handedly causing the Belsize Park property crash of '85(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:05,
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It held the pre-Internet recordfor "most unpleasant sexual imagery in the public consciousness"
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Kroney, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:06,
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Until the now infamous Eastenders 'Frank Butcher, dirty mac, trillby and rotating dickie bow tie' incident of the mid 90s.(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Or the 'Leslie Grantham finger-suck'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:26,
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marvellous news from your ex, the silly bitchcan i come round and staple things to her head?
weekend - party tonight (japanese food, which i mostly loathe, so doubtless i'll be embarrassingly smashed), going down to streatham to see mates tomorrow, work on sunday trying to catch up from a couple of days off and a wank holiday.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 May 2012, 9:56,
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what? Why is it cold?I'm fairly sure you can get hot Japanese food
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 May 2012, 9:59,
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You can but it's an aside to their world-famous cold food.Katsu cully is homosexual as well. Curry, my anus.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:00,
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i saw a katsu chicken oncethe chicken was in breach of contract, and swipe officiated for the kat
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Have you been wanking that much that you need a holiday?Also, phone full again?
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Kroney, Fri 11 May 2012, 9:59,
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ohyeah it was. and are you now coming on 29? if not, will have to be after that, as my diary is STUPIDLY full for the next couple of weeks...
i now have a spanking brand new shiny lovely iphone 4s, which after 6 months lurking in a box is now almost ready to go. your number did make the cut into the new contacts list.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:10,
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I'm a maybe at the momentI'll have to let you know nearer the time.
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Kroney, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:15,
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WTF is a wank holiday?Is it a break from wanking or just completely uninterrupted wanking?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:00, Reply)
It's like a golfing holiday. But with the focus on wanking.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:02,
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Sounds horrendousA dozen overweight, middle-aged tossers getting up to lolarious high jinks on the Costa Del Sol punctuated by 6am wanking sessions?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:05, Reply)
Yup.Only five grand for a week, too.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:06,
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it's hysterically hilarious COCKney rhyming slang(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:09,
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I am so very, very happy today.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:05,
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Saturday = dull domestic activities. Sunday = Brighton to see my wife's extremely dull friends that I thoroughly hate.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 May 2012, 9:56,
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I dunnno, have years of drug abuse left your appendage withered and broken?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:01,
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You may take my place if you wish.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:04,
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I think your wife might notice, somehow.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:06,
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This wouldn't matter. She knows her place and does as she is told*. * this may contain traces of lies.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:08,
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Off to see the family tonight.Helping my sister to buy a car tomorrow, then a 30th in toon. Sunday will be spent watching the last game of the season through a hangover induced fug, I suspect.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 11 May 2012, 10:01,
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This weekend I shall mostly be...Dealing with the jungle that is my back garden - That's Saturday morning sorted out.
Going to my Niece's birthday party BBQ and pissup in Gloucester - That's Saturday afternoon & evening sorted out.
Going to Twang club and drinking my body weight in vodka - That's Sunday sorted out/passed in alcoholic oblivion.
Might do some shopping too.
Rock and/or roll
Ninja edit - Anyone have any recommendations of good companies for picture printing/framing?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:01, Reply)
All of that?That's quite a coincidence
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:16,
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Gaz me his detailsMy youngest had some pics done by a housemate that's in a photography course and they're brilliant - I'd like to get one professionally printed & framed if poss.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:18, Reply)
I'll be waiting to see if Southend can beat in form and unbeaten in 16 games Crewe in the Play Off first leg. Oddly enough, given how the question was phrased, this does actually mean I will be waiting to see if Southend can, indeed, rock steady Crewe.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:01,
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And I didn't even need to lie about what I am doing to get there either.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:04,
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I'm helping Scaryduck to "research" his latest book.It promises to be quite a boozy session.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:09,
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Can you get me Chris Langham's autograph while you are there?(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:10,
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'I don't miiind, other guys dancin' with my giiiiiirl'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:10,
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Good news on the mental ex and sprog situation Monters.This weekend I will be mainly looking at the sky and praying that it doesn't fucking rain any more, before hopefully playing cricket Saturday and Sunday, and going over to see my sister and family on Sunday night.
I then appear to have jury duty next week. This should be most lolsome.
Can anyone offer any pointers? I was just going to go with the 'no smoke without fire' gambit, i.e. he's guilty, send him down, etc and then we can be in the pub before lunchtime. Make sense?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Tell the judge that the case you are given is dull and you want to deal with one that's more violent for the lols.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:11,
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Monty has beheaded his ex with a samuri sword. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:14,
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not AGAINi hope that she was a pimp so that he will get away with it
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Judge the defendant entirely on their appearance.Some features to watch out for include:
eyes too close together
dark or swarthy complexion
tattoos on face, neck or hands
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:14,
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I hear that a prominent bone ridge on the skullover the occipital node is a clear indication of criminality.
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Kroney, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:17,
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Is this some Klingon thing?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:18,
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I have a tattoo on my wrist which is pretty easy to conceal when teaching. Occasionally the litl'uns see it though and ask "Mr C why have you drawn on yourself?". Apart from the chav kids who go "ooooh tattoo"
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:18, Reply)
My daughter drew a goatee beard on her face with permanent marker last night.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:22,
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Is this one of the reservations that your ex wants to discuss?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:25,
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No, she has an interest in Native American housing settlements and knows it's a specialist field of mine.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:27,
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Wanting to be a pirate? not uncommon. I had two paint them on whilst on teaching practice last year. It's very amusing.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Copying daddy's beard I think.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:30,
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I'm going to teach myself some chords on my new bass. And try and learn the bass line from the Wire so I give myself a nerdgasm.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Never played one before but being a drummer It's hard to lug them around for jams and stuff and wanted to learn something new. It's this one. Got it for a ton. www.ebay.co.uk/itm/261013900500?ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1423.l2649#ht_500wt_1202
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Pretty!Good score for a ton! If you're playing chords you must have loooong fingers - mine are like cow's tits so playing the bass was never an option.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Right now my knowledge of the bass is 0 so dunno what I'll be doing yet. Just on youtube now looking for videos to help spackhanders like me.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:35, Reply)
yeah i heard scaryduck's having a clear up of people with multiple accounts too(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:22, Reply)
I heard anyone with an account in the name of a football player is DEAD MEAT.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:24,
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as is anyone who infiltraterd a first school in the guise of a teaching assitant in order to nonce kids(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Seems like a lot of work when you can just bundle them into the van. "Ssssh, I'm not gonna hurt you". MUCH!
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Really?Stepped is normally a week, no?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:23,
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I think he's been banned rather than stepped. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:23,
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Indeed, Just for call someone an alcoholic nonce. Much worse gets posted without being stepped or banned.I know he pissed someone people off, but I think he was a lot funnier than a lot of other posters.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:26,
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Agreed.I actually really liked(d) little Rory Lyon. Despite the fact that he seemed to take great delight in plaguing me for a while there.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:33,
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Something that was posted on FB. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:26,
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much like the great library of alexandria, built in the 2nd century BC(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:33, Reply)
It's pretty much identical in every way.Did you see that doc on 'the world oldest computer' last night? Amazing stuff.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:36,
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i was drifting in and out of it, something to do with calculating the position of the moon?did you see the one after that with the fat floella benjamin talking shit about the moon? i know more about teh moon than she does the condescending supermoon shitcunt
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:38, Reply)
It's worth paying attention to.I turned that other one off - everyone knows black people don't know anything about space. Too busy dancing to learn, that's my theory. Tremendous natural sense of rhythm.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:41,
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i was a bit busy but i caught the bits about the significance of the 223 months thing and the number of cogsbut must have missed what it was actually for, i assume naivgation or something?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:53, Reply)
Nope, eclipse prediction I think.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 11:00,
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Didn't CQ announce his "stepping" on FB too?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:28,
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Is this purely internet speculation?Or is there a reliable source for this?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:26,
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scaryduckof blogspot.scaryduck.com, he's the alcolic paedo nonce who got caught by his wife
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Nah', people's profiles show up with a Not Found message if they've been banned or deleted.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:27,
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sorry but i would rather believe battered's n onsensical speculation than your ridiculous 'facts'(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:31, Reply)
I'm going to steal a load of cash and get wasted!Actually the wife is off out tonight to watch some shit Johnny Depp film so I am going to introduce the kids to The Empire Strikes Back, whether they like it or not.
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Peej, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:33,
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dark shadows? looks like shit dunnit? but my gf wants to see that too, and the lucky one again, so i might see the avengers, maybei dunno, i'm not fussed really
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:35, Reply)
You've even named your cock after a Star Wars film?FFS Phil.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:36,
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haha!Cum to the DARK SIDE
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:37,
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I have, but its not The Empire Strikes backits actually The Phantom Menace
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Peej, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:38,
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well its certainly not the clone wars, you cut off the supply tubes to your clone juice(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:39, Reply)
*waves hand*These are not the jokes you are looking for.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:44,
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DARTH VADER'S REALLY MY DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:45,
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i imagined you in a speeder with naked ape and battered as you said that(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:45, Reply)
I imagined you in speedos with naked ape and battered as you said that(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:46,
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If that was so she'd call it 'Battered'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:49,
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How could they not like TESB?...'tis the best of all of them...
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 11 May 2012, 10:39,
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That's like saying the small sweetcorn nobbled turd I left floating in the bowl this morning was the best turd of all(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:40,
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Oooh was it?...Left floating though? poor show - you should have at least spread it about a bit with the spikey brush.
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 11 May 2012, 10:42,
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Anyone who claims that The Empire Strikes Back is shit is being a contrary hipster alcoholic paedophile.I also have proof that anyone who pretends its shit wants to bum David Bowie
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Peej, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:47,
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Every right thinking person knows that The Phantom Menace was the best one because it has Jar Jar Binks.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:53, Reply)
They will like itOr they will be sent back to the orphanage.
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Peej, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:44,
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Hurrah!...Don't forget to point out the trampoline bit...
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 11 May 2012, 10:45,
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He's a mod who is big mates with Rob. He's also an unfunny cunt. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:37,
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Well why is he sticking his oar in over here? did someone go and get fetch him to tattle on Rory? I'm very angry about the whole thing. No I don't have all the facts but still, DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:39, Reply)
I do the angry stuff here.I don't know what happened as I was spending lots of money in Harrods at the time, but I believe Rory accused him of being a nonce and posted some pictures that ScaryGadd didn't like.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:41,
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I don't think there were pics(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:42,
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He posted the QOTW thread and was merrily insulted(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:41,
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if you choose to be a MOD you're gonna get some shit. This bloke DOES sound like a [MOD EDIT] to me
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:43, Reply)
He once told me off for saying Spankyhanky was full of shitI just replied saying threatening to step people for calling someone a liar on a website where I often have people suggest they have fucked my (then) 3 year old daughter was a bit rich. To be fair he did reply to apologise.
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Peej, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:42,
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nah me and rory commented in duck's threadrory's probably wanking himself dry over all this
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Too fucking right. Whio does this fucker think he is?
He wants to butt the fuck out.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 10:44, Reply)
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