When did you last make a cunt of yourself through drink, a real twat?
I'm just getting the details now, cab driver got the wife up at three, she and him hoiked me into the hallway, got woken at six by dog and daughter, puked, found the spare room, surfaced whenever, puked and am now lying on the bed with the telly at no volume. I'm just drinking water so I have something to throw up. I seriously do feel like death. Apparently I was drinking Amaretto, I can taste it in the vomit. This is the last booze for a lonfg time.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 16:07, 58 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Ha. You buffoon.
What you need is a couple of stubby bottles of Stella, that'll sort you out.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 16:11, Reply)

Proud. :))
This is the most pissed I've been for a long time. Just been on the phone, we went to a restaurant at about midnight. Seriously, I have no recall pastabout ten. Stellaiskillor cure.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 16:15, Reply)

What would your GP say?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 16:21, Reply)

He would be very disappointed inme. I've been told, running a pub, lay off thesauce till closing time, I think that is good advice.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 16:37, Reply)

Don't be stupid, drink all day. It's free for the landlord innit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 16:54, Reply)

Oh yeah,...

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 17:08, Reply)

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 26 Jul 2014, 18:29, Reply)

Jesus Christ what a question.
I'm going to have to go with 'every time I've ever drunk it ever'. But then I'm actually even worse when I'm sober.
(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 21:51, Reply)

alright Gary, I heard that you are an activist for Hope Not Hate, yet you called a black friend of yours a 'nigger' to his face.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 21:55, Reply)

Listen that's pretty top secret stuff ok?
All I'm prepared to say is that I stand for tolerance and kindness YOU STUPID FAT GINGER WHORE WHY WON'T YOU SLEEP WITH ME? ? WHYYYYYYY????
(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:02, Reply)

alright Gary, you're a fucking idiot

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:04, Reply)

NO I'M TROLLING YOU, YOU FAT STUPID AND FAT CUUUUUUNNNT
Just a bit of Internet bantz YOU FAT CUNT
(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:11, Reply)

alright Gary, I heard that you're crossing your fingers for a swipe/ frog breakup so that you can be the shoulder to cry on

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:13, Reply)

Frog is quite the catch

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:15, Reply)

he's dreamy xx

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:16, Reply)

Hey I'm alright you know, no need for the cyber bullying

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:16, Reply)

u no I luv u bbz xxx

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:17, Reply)

I am quite loveable, that's true, fair point.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:18, Reply)

CUNT.
FRIEND.
(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:24, Reply)

CUNT GOOOOOD FRIEND BAAAAAAD

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:26, Reply)

Once I've eaten this roasted swan I'm prolly gonna head down Kensington
from my south west Highgate groove pad, cold fresh chillin in my xl lemon polo 'n' tasselled oxblood loafer combo and throw stones at a certain STUPID AND FAT GINGER CUNT'S window and rustle up some poontang ok?
(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:22, Reply)

don't forget to pick up some weed on the way!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:26, Reply)

*checks 'stash'*
Cripes! Better had! You know what we OG heads are like! Erry day and all day bro.
(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:29, Reply)

you're a drugs abuser and no mistake!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:30, Reply)

DONT PANIC ITS ONLY THE CHRANIC

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:30, Reply)

Insane in the spazbrain

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:31, Reply)

That's me in the strobe light
Losing my failed business
(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:36, Reply)

once you rustle it up are you gonna subjugate it?

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:28, Reply)

I'M STAB IT LIKE THAT POLACK WHORE I KILLED
whilst working as tax scam ambassador for Shelter not that I mention that
(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:31, Reply)

aha! you are George! aicmfp

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:34, Reply)

homeless people?
How ghastly. These people don't even own a dishwasher.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:36, Reply)

GYPPOES MUST DIE THE FUCKING CUNTS
Man I *love* that Billy Bragg classic
(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:38, Reply)

you have a five figure salary; your views are worthless

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:41, Reply)

Another Bragg chart buster

(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:45, Reply)

I wonder what Billy Bragg's view of aggressive tax avoidance is?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:49, Reply)

Similar to his stance on marital torture I'll wager

(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:50, Reply)

A big thumbs up!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:51, Reply)

I heard you're alright once your weird teenage moodiness is tempered with 'weed'.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:11, Reply)

such a shame he's run out

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:12, Reply)

CUNT

(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:13, Reply)

alright Gary, exactly how many times did you terrify your wife before she made you take unsuccessful anger management classes?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:15, Reply)

STUPID BITCHWHORE

(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:23, Reply)

that many, eh?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:24, Reply)

CUUUUUUNNNT

(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:26, Reply)

such a smooth talker xx

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:27, Reply)

You've been hit by, a fraud criminal

(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:32, Reply)

...and by your husband

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:36, Reply)

:(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:14, Reply)

CRRRAAAAANNN-LEEEEEEYYYYY!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:14, Reply)

Listen guys I've really enjoyed tonight.
See you tomorrow for some excruciating, obsequious backpedalling arsekissing, do let me know how your *insert IRL thing* is going!
(Good evening. Good evening., Sat 26 Jul 2014, 22:49, Reply)