St Andrew'a golf lot are voting whether to let birds join today. Antiquated bollocks . What else is old fashioned nonsense?
YM is not allowed.
Alt, lunch?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:16, 129 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

my dad played golf somewhere recently
where the members can take their dogs, but NOT THEIR WIVES.

ridiculous game. no wonder it's dying out.

alt: no lunch. too much breakfast - nuts and a muffin. feel sick now.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:18, Reply)

Nuts and a muffin lols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:19, Reply)

pervert

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:21, Reply)

You know me so well

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:25, Reply)

This is so that they can have mistresses and strippers in the clubhouse

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:20, Reply)

Dunno why women would even want to be allowed in a golf clubhouse.
We're not clamouring for access to the WI, are we?
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:35, Reply)

Organised religion, drug laws and 16 as the age of consent.
Edgy, satirical and topical.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:18, Reply)

16 year olds can vote in the Jock elections.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:22, Reply)

Yes, I know.
Totally irrelevant, but thanks for your input nonetheless!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:23, Reply)

xx

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:25, Reply)

Women ought to be banned from more places.
Ghastly creatures, always gossiping and whining that their high heels are getting muddy.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:24, Reply)

Terrible bullying of Bollocks.

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:25, Reply)

Tits and fannies are good however.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:26, Reply)

rachel khoo's sideways fanny

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:33, Reply)

nothing else

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:26, Reply)

Scotland.
Alt: scotch egg
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:29, Reply)

Hence the windy. Hey, re your advice, got a guest chef tonight, fully booked :)) Ty for that

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:34, Reply)

Glad it worked out.
What are they doing?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:36, Reply)

Guy from Morocco, local stuff. 30/70% split, me and him. I'm looking to make on wine and all wet.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:39, Reply)

Seems sensible.
Considering the kitchen is not normally open, and you only make about 30% profit on food anyway. I imagine you'll make some good money.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:46, Reply)

Just North of two on the dry, for little time or effort. Hoping to make on wine, good mark up on the bottle.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:49, Reply)

Sounds spot on.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:51, Reply)

Echo falls - £15

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:51, Reply)

\0/

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:54, Reply)

Is that because your usual chef is shit?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:47, Reply)

Yep. Golf. That's the thing on the Scots minds today..?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:34, Reply)

Buckfast and haggis?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:40, Reply)

i see no problem with men only clubs, give us some breathing space for christs sake

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:40, Reply)

Do women even play golf?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:41, Reply)

I don't know, but they do make a good cup of T

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:51, Reply)

I don't know, but they do like it when I swing my WOOD

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:51, Reply)

I don't know, but they're handy with an IRON

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:52, Reply)

I don't know, but they don't like it in the ROUGH

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:52, Reply)

I don't know, but you got to be careful when they SWING for your BALLs

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:52, Reply)

I don't know, but they don't like it when you request a SANDWICH, even just a single SLICE

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:53, Reply)

I don't know, but I'm sure they apprechate a HOLE IN ONE

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:53, Reply)

I don't know, but when they group together, you shouldn't call them BIRDIES

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:54, Reply)

I have literally no idea why some nice girl hasn't snapped you up.
Lesbians.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:55, Reply)

It's what keeps me up at night, that question.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:56, Reply)

You could start a film series
Caddy On Gonz
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:03, Reply)

Hah, or maybe write a Buzzfeed article.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:11, Reply)

keep going, you might hit a funny
STRIKETHROUGH FANNY!!!!!!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:06, Reply)

Wasn't Faldo's caddy called Fanny?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:11, Reply)

FANNYBAWS

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:14, Reply)

Haw Haw HAW !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:13, Reply)

I heard that you frequent men only clubs on a regular basis.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:42, Reply)

Back in my previous relationship
I'd have loved some time away in a place she couldn't follow. I'd have been there most evenings.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:52, Reply)

How would they even hold the clubs? In their beaks?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:44, Reply)

I expect they'd grip them in their talons and screech and squawk helplessly.
let's be honest, they'd just get in the way.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:50, Reply)

Their claws, fool.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:50, Reply)

I used to live above a Gentleman's club...
... and they had a sign on the noticeboard about a meeting "to discuss the introduction of female clientele - and it's possible consiquences for current membership". I lol'd.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:47, Reply)

I take it you mean the exclusive upper-class pipe-smoking kind of gentlemens club, and not the kind where you can see women naked for a small fee?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:02, Reply)

I'm not sure to tell you the truth, lots of police offices as it was next door a copshop. Loads of retired buisness men.
But it was falling apart, apart from the snooker rooms.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:13, Reply)

dumdedumdedum
doodedoodedoo
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:03, Reply)

fuck it, K Dogggg
Do an 'alright' thread.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:10, Reply)

I thought golf was short for gentleman only, ladies forbidden.

( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:12, Reply)

alright doc let's hear a bit more about yer pub plz

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:14, Reply)

Yay, just got a text, my iPhone 6 is in the post.
I chose Silver this year but I think I should have picked gold again. 64gb.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:15, Reply)

2012 Samsung

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:16, Reply)

etc


( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:21, Reply)

I do love the iPhone/Android war
Who gives a fuck? Its a phone
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:23, Reply)

this.
I still can't wrap my head around 1) grown adults getting excited about it and 2) grown adults QUEUEING overnight for it.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:27, Reply)

I always presumed the queuing thing was like when a new Nintendo comes out, and people are reliving their youth like that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:30, Reply)

Wait, people queued for new Nintendos as well?
Fuck
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:32, Reply)

^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^
Exactly my thinking, who cares.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:27, Reply)

I've had an iPhone. It was alright.
I've got an Android phone. It, too, is alright.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:29, Reply)

Exactly, I see merits and disadvantages with both platforms. And TBH, both sides are catching up with each other - the playing field will be identical in 3 month's time.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:29, Reply)

Well, for me its that apple keep putting out old tech repackaged in a shiny case and sticking a big price tag on because people will pay it
I can't complain too much as I have made a career out of it but I would never spend my own money on apple tech. They're a fashion accessory and the people that defend them usually roll out the "they're easy to use" argument but they are no easier than any other phone, it comes down to familiarity as they have been using them exclusively for so long. I also find it obscene that they block apps from the older tech to force you to upgrade. For example. my wife has the first iPad. When she first had it there were several apps that worked just fine. When she had to wipe it and restore it she found she couldn't re download the apps as the versions available would not work on her device. So one day she couldn't use her device to do something she was able to do the day before. I have not personally found an example of this on my shitty old Galaxy S that despite being 4 years old still runs Android 4.4.2 with no issues.

TL:DR Most people don't know what they're talking about, but I do because I'm an Apple Systems Developer at a university so listen to me!!!! MEMEMEMEMEME
( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:36, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2371209
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:36, Reply)

I pretty much agree
they're both alright. I mainly disagree with Apples ethics and the people that think that the iPhone 5s suddenly needs replacing because the 6 is out. I'm not replacing my phone until it either breaks or no longer serves my needs. I expect a fuck load of people are buying the iPhone 6 simply because its the latest one.
( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:40, Reply)

Starts autorant bot 4000
What annoys me more than anything is the "apple are a great company for alternatives, who care about the planet and other people and Microsoft are a corporate evil empire" vibe that they go for:
conveniently ignoring that Bill Gates had already donated more than twice Jobs' net worth (at death) and that Apple are one of the worst polluting tech companies
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:46, Reply)

Yeh and what's with those fucking tabs on coffee cups! Etc etc

( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:50, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2371211
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:37, Reply)

It's so the developer can release updates to their software without having to deal with hardware fragmentation.
The developer releases what their minimum version is, and that matches up with the OS's specification.

It's a bit like how you can get a 5 year old laptop that was lightening fast at browsing the web, but now is completely slow and barely works. Websites and Browsers have become more advance, use up more resources, so it's not that "the computer is getting slow", it's just "it's doing more work".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:40, Reply)

Right. but it worked fine on day one and on day two didn't
Ethical software providers still make the old versions available for old tech. Would it really be so much of an issue to allow my wife to download the last version of the youtube app that was available for her device rather than saying "Fuck you buy a new iPad if you want this" I just jailbroke it and downloaded the IPA files.
( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:45, Reply)

Also at this point the device was 3 years old
If I paid 400 quid for something that was supposed to be fucking amazing I'd want it to still at least function in some way three years later. "Oh sorry we can't let you do that anymore" on a three year old device is bullshit
( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:49, Reply)

RANT!
Can you imagine if playstation did that? "Sorry your console is three years old, you can't play your old games anymore even though you paid for them but if you buy the latest playstation you can play them again for free! Aren't we wonderful! and look! A finger print reader!"
( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:53, Reply)

x-box does do that, I have a day-one of the 360, and it can't do half the stuff the new one can.
I wouldn't expect it to either.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:55, Reply)

No but it can still do all the stuff it always could
my wifes iPad used to be able to do stuff that it now can't.
( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:58, Reply)

I see what you mean, but think of what the app developer and store-approval people would have to go through for _every_ app AND update.
"Does this work to a good standard on this hardware? does this work to a good standard on this iOS version?" There would be a rediculous amount of combinations, and their whole "It just works" ethos will no longer apply, if apps keep on running slowly/crashing because of old combinations.

You can't supply old version numbers (ie, "You've got an iPad 1, so we'll give you v5 of YouTube instead of v8"), because in the updates are security as well as functionailty. You can't expect the average user to jailbreak or install un/signed code either.

I agree it's a bitch that what it could do one day, can't do the next day, but to have that would be at depriment to entire product line.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:55, Reply)

If people have paid money for an app it is wrong to turn around and say, you can no longer use this app unless you pay for a new iPad
End of.
( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:59, Reply)

so much wrong there

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:23, Reply)

I'm sure it will making your current iPhone look fucking shit in comparison.

( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:17, Reply)

Everyone knows that you're a loser if you don't have the latest.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:23, Reply)

i might get one of them

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:17, Reply)

csb

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:18, Reply)

I probably won't

( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:19, Reply)

well that's thrown it, dunno what to think anymore :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:20, Reply)

I followed Kroney's advice when getting a new phone
Make of that what you will
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:21, Reply)

i might listen to kroneys advice but knowing you have followed it makes me less likely to, he's guilty by association, sodden by your recommendation, it's a real shame

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:24, Reply)

The funny thing about this is that I don't care if he followed my advice or not.
I just enjoy lecturing people.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:31, Reply)

WE KNOW

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:32, Reply)

I'm just itching for my next fix.

( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:33, Reply)

Be your own man.
Try it. Give it, I don't know, a week. See how it feels. Maybe you'll get the iPhone, maybe you won't. Live your life as it comes.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:23, Reply)

He should probably check with swipe first

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:25, Reply)

She's paying for New York, he'd better.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:30, Reply)

Don't be silly, I mean, she's well paid and that, but she couldn't possibly afford to support the economy of a city like New York

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:33, Reply)

There's only really Rory who has that sort of wealth

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:33, Reply)

and DBT rockin in a few hundred quid today for his 'guest chef' ("a guy from morocco")

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:35, Reply)

I have a mental image of a confused rug salesman stepping off the bus and being confronted with DBT roach-infested kitchen.

( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:36, Reply)

i know an erudite use of language and beautifully flowing descriptive wording isn't his strong point, but by christ he's managed to make his 'special' night sound so fucking mundane it's unbelieveable

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:40, Reply)

Bit upset^^

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:44, Reply)

Yes I'm upset that your pub night of mediocre cuisine sounds rubbish bloobloo

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:48, Reply)

xx

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:53, Reply)

classic!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:54, Reply)

tbh i was just going to get whatever i like anyway

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:25, Reply)

Yeah, you say that; I bet the next time I see you, you've got a pink iPhone.

( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:26, Reply)

i'll probably get the 'space grey' one but with a pink rubber case if that's okay

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:27, Reply)

I like it. Subversive.

( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:28, Reply)

that way i can always have the pink phone i desire, and just remove the case if you're about, judging me

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:28, Reply)

I do enjoy a good judging.
I have a special face for it. My askance face. You're no doubt already familiar with it.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:29, Reply)

I might get something cheaper and better

( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:21, Reply)

I havent bought a phone for 5 years or so as I get mine through work

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:28, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2371187
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:29, Reply)

THX BBZ
Just bragging that's all...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:41, Reply)

Alt: Roast topside of beef, garlic roast potatoes*, green beans, yorkshire pudding and horseradish gravy.

*Not like mum used to do with slits cut in the potato and slices of garlic stuffed in, just done in a garlic oil.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:32, Reply)

My mrs does the best roast potatoes on Earth.
I pity anybody that hasn't sampled them.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:33, Reply)

They are very good

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:42, Reply)

I've had her spuds. They were crispy.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:42, Reply)

Does anybody have any problems they need a lecture/a good judging on?
I'm Jonesing, here.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:38, Reply)

I would like you to judge me because even though I dont work in IT I do seem to do a lot of IT work

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:41, Reply)

b3ta.com/search/answers?q=%22works+in+IT%22
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:47, Reply)

I liked this BTW

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:11, Reply)

Yeh, I'm only getting a disk write speed of 3.1MB/s when writing this disk image
whereas half an hour ago it was over 100MB/s
( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:51, Reply)

You defo need to upgrade to the latest version it will only cost you £500

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:53, Reply)

I'll pay 800 if I don't have to queue.

( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:00, Reply)

DEAL

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:05, Reply)

WOW! It worked! 78.9MB/s

( Peej, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:06, Reply)

v Works in IT v

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:11, Reply)