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This is a question Weddings Part II

Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.

Tell us more of your wedding stories.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:10)
Pages: Popular, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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The Wedding of Little Chadderleigh
BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! BUM BUM BUM! ME NEXT! ME NEXT! BUM BUM BUM!

BUM BUM BUM!
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 18:36, 35 replies)
It's a schooner.

(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 18:40, closed)
Hahahaha, you dumb bastard, it's not a schooner... it's a sailboat.

(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 20:38, closed)
Ah, Street Poetry
Doncha just love it?
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 19:40, closed)
I apologise
for using the word 'doncha', and will never do it again.
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 19:42, closed)
Woncha?
Gee shucks

Dude
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 19:47, closed)
You're thinking of the Lone Groover

(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 22:09, closed)
You're just not putting the effort etc etc...

(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 19:59, closed)
You know, if you were to go outside tonight wearing some old clothes
you could probably find a largish ramshackle wooden structure onto which you could climb... then just remain motionless and the rest will take care of itself
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 20:42, closed)
I would gladly donate more than several pennies to facilitate this.

(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 21:13, closed)
I don't usually partake in the "I hope Dr Skagra dies in a fire" bullying
but I'll confess I'm beginning to see their point
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 21:32, closed)
yer, that one's mine yeah

(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 21:58, closed)
Bullying?!
AH HA HA HA HA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 22:36, closed)
My apologies
"Light-hearted internet banter wishing you a prolonged and painful death"
(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 9:49, closed)
Thanks sweetie
That's how I see it
(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 18:54, closed)
More than several?
Christ, that's an awful piece of syntax.
(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 14:00, closed)
Skags.. sweetie....
.... you have gone from;

'utterly brilliant pastiche'
via
'funny, well-written but getting annoying'
and hence through
'occasional flashes of worthwhile among the irritating'
to
'fucking annoying'

Congratulations. Like Scotland, you've devolved.
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 21:40, closed)
Thence?

(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 22:08, closed)

TBH I didnt feel that the finer subtleties were so observed here
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 22:27, closed)
Oh yes

(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 22:44, closed)
Thanks for the feedback sweetie!
I shall endeavour to be even more annoying in future.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 22:35, closed)
you forgot LAI8GHT3RZ!!!
you horrible fire-tempting grot
(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 22:20, closed)


(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 0:52, closed)
Perish on a bonfire

(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 9:32, closed)
It's better than his previous shit

(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 9:51, closed)
Easier to ignore, you mean.

(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 13:14, closed)
that too
i don't have a problem with skipping straight past the fruits of his labours, other than that it is SO MUCH SCROLLING.
(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 14:35, closed)
Enough to give you RSI.
I'm off to call Claims Direct. In fact, we should all maybe start a class act.

Because it doesn't get classier than this. Boom, boom. (Or do I mean Bum, Bum?)
(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 14:48, closed)
Remorseless "SWEEETIE!!" Injury

(, Sat 8 Nov 2014, 23:31, closed)
HER sweetie!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 17:47, closed)
Only because there's less of it.

(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 15:13, closed)
Why don't you just jump in your tardis and fly it into the sun?

(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 11:06, closed)
Cos I am still tryna fix it
silly!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 18:53, closed)
I'm beginning to form the impression that you might be gay.
Not that it matters, of course.
(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 13:13, closed)
nah
Skagra is like those guys who spend every waking hour going on about the "fucking poofs" in a desperate attempt to reinforce their heterosexuality, despite the fact they secretly want to be taken from behind with fifty-seven dildos all at once while sucking the largest cock they can find.

Skagra is just like that... but in reverse.

In that he is evidently the straightest, most vanilla guy who walked the earth... but desperately wants to be queer because it might make him very very slightly interesting.

Sorry sweetie, you failed.
(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 22:22, closed)
Sorry, I keep forgetting how dense humans are
I am a girl!
(, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 16:41, closed)

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