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hey so the doveston came over and he stole my dildo
what a bastard
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:43, archived)
you should share it, that's why you should always buy double ended

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:44, archived)
sharing is caring

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:45, archived)
sometimes stealing is justified, did you have an anal habit? weve all been there

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:45, archived)
how else i gonna fuck me some cock?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:45, archived)
i would never in my forum posting assume to give you answers on getting anal cock ssg, no offence

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:54, archived)
none taken TAKEN GET IT taken like taken a cock

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 23:05, archived)
cool for cocks

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 23:11, archived)
I don't think this is true.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:46, archived)
yeh it is he came over for a kfc sharing bucket but he kept scaring the dog

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:49, archived)
that might be true,
But I don't think there was a dildo involved.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:50, archived)
how else do you scare a dog?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:52, archived)
ram a cock up it

(, Sat 19 May 2012, 0:06, archived)
did he punch anything?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:54, archived)
smogalogalogalogalogalog

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:46, archived)
no fucking idea why I said that, not sure what it means, just keep talking, pretend it didn't happen

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:50, archived)
Oh b3ta, what happened :(

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:52, archived)
Everyone left,
This is partly your fault.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:53, archived)
I came back though
forgive me windy
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:57, archived)
okey dokey.
Welcome back.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:58, archived)
Cheers

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 23:00, archived)
Hope this finds you well?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 23:00, archived)
Meh
I better not go into crap life stuff online.

Things have been worse :)
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 23:04, archived)
Bongo!
I'm off. Ta ta.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 23:06, archived)
I saw a car garage called Bugar Motors earlier
like bugger motors, haha
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:55, archived)

redcomercial.peugeot.es/bugar
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:56, archived)
I read it as Bew-garr,
To rhym with caviar. So not so funny in my head. Soz b.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 23:00, archived)
i'd like to see that in glitter text

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:58, archived)

Luv you
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 23:03, archived)
It's beautiful
*wipes away a tear*
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 23:06, archived)
i was wrong, no offence

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 23:16, archived)
Have you thought about talking to him about it? He may be in a crisis.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 23:03, archived)
bored of that now
I just had a buzzcut, who wants to touch my head?

alt: ask me anything about my parrot

penises
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:20, archived)
Do you look it in the eye,
While you're wanking off?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:22, archived)
see, this is the kind of flippant remark that ruins serious discussions on the internet

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:24, archived)
when you let it fly around your house,
Where does it like to perch for a rest?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:25, archived)
he's got a ladder type perch thing next to the window
with a litter tray underneath so yeah, he sits there all day staring out of the window and shitting
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:27, archived)
do you think he dreams of being a wild parrot?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:29, archived)
aww man, I was retuning my freeview and I missed Kirk saying KHAAAAAAN
fml
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:31, archived)
+1?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:33, archived)
cba

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:34, archived)
aw man
if I was there I'd touch it. Like a big fuzzy peach.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:26, archived)
my head or the parrot?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:28, archived)
your head
I have to stop myself patting people with shaved heads I see in public
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:31, archived)
Hey Spango,
I don't know if you noticed, but your comment could be misconstrued as lewd. Please mark it NSFW or I will have to gaz Manolith.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:28, archived)
I've clicked it for out of context populol page lols

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:29, archived)
people like you are ruining this forum,
It's all cock jokes and Ballbags.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:32, archived)
forum banter. no offence

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:41, archived)
I couldn't think of a way to express my joy at fuzzy shaved heads in a way that wasn't a bit weird
maybe it is a bit weird in itself
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:32, archived)
get help.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:32, archived)
I think of all my eccentiricities
this is the least weird
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:36, archived)
five syllables, don't see that being beatn today

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:39, archived)
I'mma leave it

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:44, archived)
and this is why you are banned from 43 greengrocers in the UK

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:33, archived)
and why I have a kitchen full of mouldy peaches

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:36, archived)
no thanks, i've got my own

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:29, archived)
could you all please make it clear if you're answering the main question or the alt question
this also applies to future posts kthxbai
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:30, archived)
main question
i don't really give a fuck about your parrot
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:34, archived)
ha me too

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:38, archived)
i bet he said khan now, cunt

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:42, archived)
Pissflaps!
pardon me
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:56, archived)
10/10, would see again

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:58, archived)
i thought you were dead

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:00, archived)
I still could be

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:02, archived)
moot point, well done

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:04, archived)
Are you keeping tags on everyone here now?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:04, archived)
i dunno what you mean by tags, sorry ja

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:06, archived)
get on your police horse and trot on plod

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:12, archived)
you ratted me out gluey, eh, after all the dirt i took off your shoulder, you just a fucking street pimp, fuck you

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:14, archived)
well I gotta make new friends when you don't value my help
Brutha's gotta frijj yo
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:20, archived)
Who are you?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:59, archived)
Hello Poopy.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:59, archived)
Classic baldmonk... Eh? What?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:00, archived)
why have you not fucked off yet?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:02, archived)
Maybe it's like Adam.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:03, archived)
it's worse than Adam
imagine that!
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:13, archived)
Slip and slide!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:16, archived)
it smells like wombat

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:04, archived)
RUN!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:08, archived)
whoever it is it's a shitcunt

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:11, archived)
Need help
Wasn't sure where to turn, I need help finding an article that was in a london daily free newspaper (metro or evening standard)- it was about investment in an app promotional video company based in the UK. Can someone help?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:30, archived)
everyone, wat is your favourite local paper?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:31, archived)
the aberdeen press and journal looks ok
I might read that for a bit
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:32, archived)
vlad, once, my local paper had in the front page article 'river of shit' i'd love to shake that persons hand who got it in, i proper lol'd, it was also online, all gone, x files gone

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:34, archived)
'public toilets crisis'
that was a good one I saw once
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:35, archived)
Whiskey led to egg throwing
Was the best one I've seen in our local rag
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:44, archived)
the one that gets shoved through the door
the letters page is fantastic, had some bloke in it this week proudly admitting to various road traffic offences
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:34, archived)
Povvo
The one you pay for is way better. And it's got, like, half a page of jobs every Thursday
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:42, archived)
povvo
some of us already have jobs
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:43, archived)
I've got a job and a year away from it to look after mah boy
In a summer that includes the cricket, the Olympics, the European Football Championships and The Open Golf about half a mile from my house.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:46, archived)
yeah but honestly, who gives a shit about the olympics
I worked on the commonwealth games here and it bored the living shit out of me, they asked me to go and work on the Athens olympics and I was like yeah, actually no
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
your to old to sell your arse now anyway grandad, go bed

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:52, archived)
I'm looking forward to it at the moment but I dare say I'll be bored with it within an hour of the fucking thing starting
I've yet to figure out how to wring money out of idiots when The Open comes to town
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:53, archived)
buy cheap stuff online, hawk it

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:00, archived)
18th green grass clippings was the best one from last time it was here
a mate snipped the top 20mm off his lawn and sold INDIVIDUAL blades of grass in those cheap acrylic keyrings for a fiver a time.
He made a fucking fortune off of gullible Americans
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:16, archived)
holy crap!
hello stranger
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:46, archived)
Hello you!
How's things?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
not bad thanks, how about you?
still arting?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
Nah :(
To be honest, I wandered back here to see if it would bring back a bit of it. I'm a creative void these days :(

How about you? still making people look like dinosaurs?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:49, archived)
yup, doing it full-time now
boo for artist's block :(
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:09, archived)
/\ /\ what spango said!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
Psssh, facebook!
Congratulations on the new little one Mr T :) how's he settling in?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:50, archived)
He's doing smashing ta. Just needs a bit of reminding that waking up at 3am for a sing song is bad form!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:54, archived)
Plenty of time for that when he goes to University

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:55, archived)
i've still got your fanmail in my b3ta folder :)

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:48, archived)
Haha no way :)
I'd forgotten about that. Sorry for being a gushing twat :)
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:51, archived)
Blackpool Evening Gazette.
It is the laughable epitome of local journalism at its lowest.
I don't even believe the date at the top of the page and double check it
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:43, archived)
Nope, soz

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:31, archived)
seriously?
you genuinely thought /talk was the best place to ask that?

you fucking cock
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:31, archived)
DONT PANIC
lol
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:32, archived)
dunno if you're watching but I'll give a heads up when he's about to shout KHAAAAAAN

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:36, archived)
and????????? you must be able to eta me

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 22:05, archived)
I know a lot about that but you should probably GAZ me, not really relevant to anyone's interests here

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:35, archived)
Turn 360 degrees and walk away

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:41, archived)
I know exactly the one you mean
Hang on...
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:43, archived)
Hello.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
Alright Windy
How's tricks?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:52, archived)
Tippity top.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:59, archived)
It was in the Metro. Fact.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:46, archived)
here. didn't take long to find.
www.metro_free.co.uk/news/article/90767356/php/
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
alright SRDV'sPBS
those fucking adverts they put in the middle of films with the fucking potato wedges in the cinema and one of them says what the ... I am lost 'ere, those make me want to kick a fucking biro down someone's ear
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:49, archived)
why not turn off the TV and have a chat to the parrot.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:51, archived)
he's sleeping you vicious parrot-abusing cunt bastard

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:52, archived)
Alright,
Chill out.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:58, archived)
I know. Bloody annoying.
Stood next to a munter in the post orifice today. Fat cunt stunk like a box of shit. That annoys me that fat birds are too lazy to wash the stench off their gunts.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:53, archived)
Newspapers.
Wow.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:48, archived)
HARDCORE FRIDAY NIGHT, YO

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:52, archived)
I'm just happy not to be at work,
The party booked in to the upstairs bar tonight were definitely cunts.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:57, archived)
also,
If you just nip down the nearest train station, you could definitely get a copy.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:50, archived)
what you doing then, anything worth posting about?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:58, archived)
you know what, as a londoner i cant wait for the olympics, we are going to show the world that this is he best fucking city ever created

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:00, archived)
Yeah
I can't get excited about this flame relay. Even though it'll be going 200 metres past my work. Got my bunting for the jubilee, and a cake stand. Not sure what to put on it yet.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:07, archived)
a big dollop of shit

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:09, archived)
magnum's receptions are noted in society for the hosts exquisite faeces

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:11, archived)
Ambassador, with these stinking mammal droppings, you're really spoiling us

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:14, archived)
the queen is going to be at the opening of the games, in london, where she lives, not that she lives in stratford, she is SW1, south west london is fucking shit

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:14, archived)
Nope

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:01, archived)
ok then

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:01, archived)
You?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:03, archived)
i just thought 'nails are a bit odd, toe and hand ones' now i'm on wiki and tor p2p forums looking for different womens off cuts to buy

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:12, archived)
alright m
listening to acid techno

techno.fm/#

in my pants
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:01, archived)
i'm not in the mood, glad you are tho b, my dearest b
m

xxx
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:02, archived)
Wrath of Khan just starting, Film4, great film, Spock dies at the end, just sayin

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:02, archived)
yeah, that aint great, i saw it at the cinema when it came out, i prefered deep space 9, not voyger tho, that was shit

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:03, archived)
the only good thing about Voyager was Neelix
he should have had his own spinoff series where he travels through the Delta quadrant making Tallaxian omelettes for everyone
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:06, archived)
he was just whoopies barmaid and that dunno borg tart was alright, but it was just Data re hashed, imho snee

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:17, archived)
crapbag

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:25, archived)
was that the one with the fella out of quantum leaps, i never saw that

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:28, archived)
oh fuck that, they could have all sat round whacking each other off and it would have been better than that heap of low-rent televisual dross

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:32, archived)
Drinking ale, watching rugby league and generally being a Northern stereotype
I might have a pie in a bit
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:02, archived)
did i add you as a friend? prepare yourself, i'll be 50 in 12 years, i might post

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:05, archived)
Yeah. Best. Day. Ever.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:43, archived)
Made some nice food, watchin' some telly, just put on The Muppet's Movie.
Nowt really worth mentioning really, what 'bout you?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:03, archived)
not doing fuck all here, chillin, big day tomorrow with the football for me and my mates

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:06, archived)
Sweet, sounds alright. I got a few mates comin 'round tomo evening, they ain't seen the pad yet.
whats the football about? I thought it was over last week.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:18, archived)
spot in the top division and the chance to win the european top few of diffrnet countries trophy, i think they may be different

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:22, archived)
Just downloading some photos off my camera
and seeing how they've turned out.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:08, archived)
what are they photos of

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:15, archived)
The seaside
I was testing some new filters, so basically they're about 50 shots of the same thing in various degrees of darkness
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:16, archived)
could you not do that in photoshop?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:19, archived)
Not usually
as there is too much exposure difference between the sky and the land, so it's easier to do in/on camera. I'm old school.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:23, archived)
some one should invent something to do it for you properly, then you could chill more

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:30, archived)
not cheese then
why didn't you take some pictures of some nice cheese
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:22, archived)
I see, you've got no answer for me have you, I think this speaks for itself

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:28, archived)
might play some football manager, what's the word on the street mongy?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:15, archived)
well as a tv show called not going out just started, that mark

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:31, archived)
Here, mongy, you like the gees gees
There's a thing in this week's South London Press saying you Millwall fans can get free tickets for Kempton, I thought you might like to know.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:22, archived)
drinking gin and looking at porn

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:31, archived)
I just won £2 on a scratch card, eeeeeh!
I'm gonna either invest the pound return in a bag of crisps or a Rustlers burger if Sainsburys round the corner have them on offer for a quid.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:11, archived)
or some salad!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:11, archived)
ahahaha

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:11, archived)

yeah
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:11, archived)
Alright Moo'ie?
How's your 'condition' ? You big Barack supporter of Baracl's _big_ support.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:43, archived)
Vegetable themed bands: The Smashing Pumpkins, Potatonight Potatonight!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:40, archived)
the bee gees

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:34, archived)
Hey Macadamia!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:41, archived)
Why not do something worthwhile,
And send it up to Scotland for all the tramps being priced out of their booze.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:12, archived)
Buy 2 scratch cards

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:15, archived)
Melt it down and spray it over the scratch on the BMW.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:18, archived)
maybe you should go and leave it under the screen wiper of the guy whose car you totaled

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:19, archived)
Collect your £2 coin and then use it to scratch someone else's name into the paint on the side of the BMW.
Then hopefully they won't suspect it was you who put a dent in the front of it.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:32, archived)
fuck off, I'm not talking to you any more
you're the worst sort of vile scum there is.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:34, archived)
some unlucky cunt on fb just posted this:
'Cant believe some cunt has hit my car and drove off so taking my daughter to fire station ballpit has cost me 320 quid. fucking great'

ive given her your name and number just in case its you like
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:49, archived)
cow

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:54, archived)
alright cabbages. knickers

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:55, archived)
it wasn't me that said that thing about you, it was SSG

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:57, archived)
what did he say then come on dont be shy

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:58, archived)
well derr, go to t'other place and scroll down
just after the tart stood near the waterwheel
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:59, archived)
theres naink even there ive just wasted valuable chip eating time searching for insults and i get fuck all

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:02, archived)
just before the tart stood near the waterwheel, like I said
salt and vinegar?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:03, archived)
yeh course
you jelly?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:05, archived)
I had liver and bacon and mash

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:06, archived)
you aint et that already you slippery cunt

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:09, archived)
well yeah, it's right here steaming away
and the whole house smells of liver
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:12, archived)
yeh imma little sick now

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:15, archived)
aww tear... lol i would h8 dat.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:59, archived)
id never steal someone elses lines, thats just not how i roll

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:02, archived)
I think I can claim that one, 'cus I was the one who found it from some random on the internet.
It ain't stealin' if you don't know them.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:03, archived)
you make your own rules how can i be expected to follow them all if you sit there just making them up
you rule making prick
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:11, archived)
I want to be in this subthread too, hello

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:12, archived)
actually fuck it, I'm off to chow down on some offal

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:13, archived)
you sicken me

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:14, archived)
Soz, was off not caring, I've come back but I can't seem to find the care anyway - do you know where it is? Actually, forget it, I don't care.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 21:00, archived)
yeah, a girl posts and the board gets flooded with shut-ins

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:46, archived)
haven't you got some nuts and bolts you could be tightening?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:47, archived)
bored of that now
Hey nonny ding dong, alang alang alang
Boom ba-doh, ba-doo ba-doodle-ay

Oh, life could be a dream (sh-boom)
If I could take you up in paradise up above (sh-boom)
If you would tell me I'm the only one that you love
Life could be a dream, sweetheart
(Hello, hello again, sh-boom and hopin' we'll meet again)

pricks
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:05, archived)
Is it Chico time?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:12, archived)
don't get mad at me but I accidentally scratched your Boney M record last night

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:14, archived)
It's OK, I was going to chuck it out anyway.
The grooves were a bit clogged up with...well never mind what with.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:18, archived)
imma guess it was vomit and coagulated horse bile

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:27, archived)
yeah that or something

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:36, archived)
No, Rasputin always sounds like that

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:23, archived)
as much as I love my ford focus I do lament the rear visibility
and the fat scratch I've just left on someone's BMW because I reversed and reversed and thdunk and oh shit oh shit quickly drive away

I know a Ford KA was a gay car but at least it had good parking visibility

I'm going to have to be a cunt and get colour-coded beepers
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:20, archived)
could you post that in a new thread please, just to push all this shit off the board a bit quicker?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:23, archived)
you
utter
cunt
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:24, archived)
his fault for not coming out of his house, getting into his car, reversing and giving me more space while I was parking then WASN'T IT

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:26, archived)
Mooey, that's a WOMAN'S excuse.
A BLONDE WOMAN'S excuse.
You disgust me you fat mess.
Any chance of a fuck?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:32, archived)
parking a KA - piece of piss, the wheels are in all the corners so it's like reversing a dodgem
a land rover defender - surprisingly nimble, plus with the high position you can see what you're doing
a focus - pleasure to drive but a cunt to park
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:34, archived)
CUNT
someone did that to me once. I'd totally grass you up. You cunt.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:29, archived)
I did try to look innocuous if there was a scratch
I think it was just bumper to bumper. It was a gold BMW with an 'M3' badge but no M3 anything else. A 318i if anything.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:31, archived)
There's a focus near here which is a bog standard one with
sti badges and shizzle. I fucking hate BMW drivers.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:39, archived)
Mine's 1.6 of pure supercharged V8

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:41, archived)
That's not strictly true is it?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:43, archived)
I even installed the +250BHP 'Furry Dice from Halfords £4.99' addon
it'z sickkkkkk
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:44, archived)
i bet its pink

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:51, archived)
dark red!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:52, archived)
Your car's powered by vegetable juice? How commendably green of you

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:45, archived)
and it's costing me a fucking fortune in tomatoes

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:01, archived)
Mine has got a ridiculous half foot diameter exhaust installed by whoever owned it before me.
There's a rubber thingy missing so every hundred miles or so it falls off and I have to crawl underneath to shove it back on again.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:37, archived)
My Celica has similar problems. It does have a beeper for reversing but all that does is tell me I'm going backwards.
I fucking hate home visits to my patients with shitty little foot high walls around their gardens, completely invisible from inside the car but just the right height to rip my bumper off.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:30, archived)
It doesn't help that I'm trying to get it into a space that gives me a foot in front and a foot in the back
everyone else with a car is a cunt, get out of my way, I deserve to park here
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:37, archived)
That's NOT how Angel Of Death goes.
Silly Gilgy.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:22, archived)
*C's*
*Am's*
*D7's*
*G's*
Prick
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:23, archived)
The Famous Five
Five take turns with Timmy

Also, what the fuck is this?
The company has succeeded where a host of baddies failed and done away with Julian, Anne, Dick and George. In their place come their descendants, Jo, Max, Dylan and Allie. Only Timmy the dog gets to keep his name. Rather than tackling smugglers and crawling through secret tunnels, the Five will use webphones and laptops to take on villains, including sellers of pirate DVDs.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:44, archived)
one of them's a darkie

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:49, archived)
I mean, isn't it bad enough we have darkie doctors, now my kids have to read about them in school
I bet it's all mosques and Allah and those funny gods with monkey heads and six arms next
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:52, archived)
send the buggers back..

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:53, archived)
more like Tyrese, KyWanda, Pheonix [sic] and Aymeiigh
and what the hell, 'webphones', ahahah
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:02, archived)
what is this song?
Gaz me beautiful.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 19:02, archived)
bored of that now
baldmonkeyseenabird.wordpress.com/
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:38, archived)
pushing an ichneumon wasp down my weehole with a chopstick
/ac
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:41, archived)
meh, the content of this blog has gone right down hill, it's stale now, oh well it was bound to happen

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:41, archived)
you should do a blog about that tent thing you keep banging on about

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:42, archived)
what tent thing?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:44, archived)
that tent thing

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:44, archived)
i don't know nothing about any tents, you are probably confusing me with someone else

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:46, archived)
won't some sweet momma come and rescue me
'cos I ain't so bad
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:48, archived)
I heard them parrots taste like cheesy wotsits.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:54, archived)
alright SRDV'sPBS
it's properly shit here
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:55, archived)
It's been quite nice here.
If you like grey skys and rain. Still not as gloomy as it was in the bog this morning. Bad times :(
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:59, archived)
I'm playing that War of the worlds song you know where it goes DUM DUM DUMMMM nananaaa nananaa DUM DUM DUMMMM nananaaa nananaa

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:02, archived)
ok, that song finished
now it's Una paloma blanca
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:02, archived)
can't listen to that shit
fuck music
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:03, archived)
Alright Gigglers.
I've just made a CD of my favourite Richard Thompson tunes for Jazz Doug down the pub.

How do you like THEM apples then?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:04, archived)
dunno, new Richard Thompson or hardcore depressive old stuff?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:08, archived)
Bit of old, bit of new.
That's how I roll.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:10, archived)
I bet you put 1952 Vincent Black Lightning on there you Richard Thompson slut

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:13, archived)
Totally. AND Beeswing.
And 'I agree with Pat Metheny', just for the jazz LOLS.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:17, archived)
RT Jazz lols
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEAzPSIT4yg
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:18, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjgmSmk0OnM
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:10, archived)
I had a music on today too.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:05, archived)
Glenn Miller now, parrot's fucked off back into his cage

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:08, archived)
He's not in the mood then?
AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA SEE WHAT I DID THERE??? Lolololol!11
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:10, archived)
I liked it when the RAF dropped bombs on his plane

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:13, archived)
Oh man, LOL!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:57, archived)
bored of that now
what's the best thing to have with gammon
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:58, archived)
Fried egg and chips
prick
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:59, archived)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10771417

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:59, archived)

www.b3ta.com/board/10771417
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:59, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7500000
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:24, archived)
gamdad

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:00, archived)
back

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:00, archived)
nuts

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:02, archived)
gammon gammon
gammon gammon
gammon gammon gammon
do you wanna be on my ham
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:03, archived)
leptospirosis

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:11, archived)

Still hurting from their decision to stop trying for a baby, Sonya distracts herself by caring for an injured baby wombat while Toadie leases a sports car to ease his disappointment. Desperate to make her house unsellable, Tash ropes Chris and Aidan into helping her deter prospective buyers. Callum re-invests in his relationship with his best friend. With Ashleigh Brewer, Stefan Dennis, Kym Valentine, Gemma Pranita, and Chris Milligan.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:14, archived)

Jessica impersonates an old friend to track down a hit-and-run driver and uncovers a sordid tale of blackmail, theft and murder. Starring Angela Lansbury
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:16, archived)
she properly fucking gets it she does

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:23, archived)
even stefans music is better than ballbags

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:17, archived)
I only enjoyed it when alf and ailsa were in it

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:20, archived)
vodka and green

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:15, archived)
burnt hair

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:23, archived)
PINEAPPLE CHUNKSONASTICK!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:36, archived)
bored of that now
i'm sick of other boards saying we have no talent so i think we should have a talk image challenge, you have until next tuesday to draw a picture on the theme of "pissing on orchestras" then post it on here and i'll be the judge and say jonti's one is the best becasue everyone love veitch weebl
that'll show them
go on then get cracking
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:51, archived)

www.b3ta.com/board/10771417
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:54, archived)
no.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:57, archived)
What's the point
/talk will be closed down by Christmas. You mark my words. Then it'll be "move to /OT of fuck off". Cunts.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:58, archived)
boredo f that now
what is your opinion of frog v bird?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
I'm not convinced birds that appear to be flying aren't just jumping really high

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
I read something similar in New Scientist just now but it was about squids.
I reckon they're just jumping.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:58, archived)
You know birds are decended from dinosaurs right
well so I call a tyrannosaurus rex a tyranno-sore-arse rex lol
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:29, archived)
works for brontosaurus too

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:29, archived)
and stegosaurus
and 'Steg' is something I used to call smelly/scruffy/poor people when I was child.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:34, archived)
nah

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:35, archived)
Ja

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:35, archived)

www.kineticnorth.com/userfiles/Gilgamesh/bm1.jpg
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:44, archived)
ain't clcicking that gilg on account of itll be shit soz

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:45, archived)
it's a picture of you being a prick
www.b3ta.com/board/10771417
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:48, archived)
i707

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:46, archived)
In what context? I prefer frog but bird would probably win in a fight.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
Or maybe not
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAZoi4CEoWY
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:02, archived)
fuck that shit

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:11, archived)
if frogs were jews then birds would be the annoying pakistani family that move next door and let their horrible curry cooking smell waft through your bedroom window when you're wanking yourself crosseyed to Supernanny

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:59, archived)
jewish frogs, whatever next

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:01, archived)
hindu axolotls

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:03, archived)
i dont like those

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:06, archived)
islamic extremist skinks

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:11, archived)
skinks are by far the best amphibian

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:14, archived)

bian theatre

AHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FUCKING HAHAHAHAAHHAH!
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:22, archived)
Hey u guys
I'mma axolotl
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:12, archived)
thanks axolotl
thanksalotl
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:13, archived)
:(
www.b3tards.com/u/57cc9a3be7d0f074d018/sally.jpg
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:17, archived)
can you draw a picture of a chimp using a frog like a fleshlight and them both looking happy about it?
the style of picture you might see in a childrens book but of a chimp using a frog as a fleshlight.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:15, archived)
I don't think I can be bothered, if I'm honest

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:29, archived)
cool
i mean, you know, if you're too chicken.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:30, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DYUeajaEUg&feature=related
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:37, archived)
aint click dat

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:38, archived)
I already saw it
I :('d.
I :('d REAL hard.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:39, archived)
oh right
i thought it might be, yeah g-man thats what we were talking about innit
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:48, archived)
i love race traitors because I am not racist.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:11, archived)
I'd rather fuck a frog i reckon.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:00, archived)
are you a chimpanzee or something
seriously imagine that, you are a frog and you are thinking life can't get much shitter than this because i am a frog and them a fucking chipanzee picks you up with the same hand he uses to fling shit and forces his hard ape cock in you mouth and uses you as a fleshlight. fuck that, know what i mean. i'm saying you know fuck that.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:13, archived)
Man, you're on sex-disgust FIRE today!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:29, archived)
theres loads of videos of it on youtube and that
search for something like chimp frog rape
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:31, archived)
You know what, you're on

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:32, archived)
FUCKING HOLY CHRIST

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:33, archived)
yeah
thats gotta be degrading
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:34, archived)
It's the way my Dad went :(

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:35, archived)
I dunno Win Pug.
It would spoil the purity of Frog Chorus Time.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:25, archived)
bom bom bom
ayeee yah
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:32, archived)
Frog would roundhouse kick his way to an easy victory

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:19, archived)
so is your face

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:23, archived)
That doesn't even sense

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:53, archived)
bored of twats now
do you ever disassociate your future self from your current self and either do something or fail to do something knowing full well that it will result in your future self getting in trouble but you just think, nah, fuck him; he's a prick?

alt: nut-animals

pricks.

you can't say nazipan
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:49, archived)
yeah, I should probably be looking for a new job about now
but it's all too much fuss
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:53, archived)
Nah. Yeah. I mean, yeah sort of, but more like you are asked to write a document and so you keep putting the word FUCK in to be waki and stitch yourself up.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:55, archived)
no, that's nuts

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
aw... here we go
*orange sodas*
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
INVOLVE!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:46, archived)
The first nut is the deepest

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:49, archived)
bored of that now
fucking sixty quid for a treefrog, fucking disgrace
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:17, archived)
YOU are

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:19, archived)
That's an awesome frog, worth every penny I say!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:19, archived)
your mum's an awesome frog, worth every penny

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:22, archived)
Great breasted newt, actually.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:51, archived)
You'd only feed it to your imaginary Frenchman.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:21, archived)
Go and fucking find one yourself then
Stupid prick
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:23, archived)
LIKE YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT A FROG IS
prick
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:27, archived)
I KNOW MORE ABOUT IT THAN YOU, YOU FUCKING NO-FROG-KNOWLEDGE BITCH

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:28, archived)
FUCK YOU
YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA
FROG BASTARD CUNT FACE MISTER I KNOW SHIT ABOUT FROGS CUNT PRICK
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:29, archived)
Oh man
Come the frog-off you're going to look pretty stupid
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:34, archived)
can you lick it?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:34, archived)
Yes you can!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:35, archived)
you can but it'll void the warranty

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:41, archived)
Frogs are shit.
Shit frog.
Frog shit.
Frit.
Friz.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
yay /talk - you're the best!
b3ta.com/newsletter/issue529/
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:12, archived)
bored of that now

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:12, archived)
YAY!
No UR THE BSEsT!
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:13, archived)
it's no use, everyone knows he fucking hates you

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:15, archived)
I bet you say that to all the forums.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:14, archived)
good one badge!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
Hello

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:14, archived)
HEY, WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. WHY ISN'T MY ACE VIDEO IN THE NEWS LETTER?
www.b3ta.com/links/793521
FUCK YOU ROBERT.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:14, archived)
HAHA BOBERT MANUAL HATES BLANDMONKEY

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:15, archived)
what a cunt, eh, gilgy? after all i've done for him and his shitty site

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:19, archived)
I clicked 'I like this' because this is how /talk should be, all nice and stuff.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:16, archived)
I blame baldmonkey for the way talk is now, just look at his comment on the popular page.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:18, archived)
fuck off

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:20, archived)
See Rob? He just told me to fuck off!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:21, archived)
See, now it's on the popular page, all thanks to me. SEE ROB, I MADE YOU POPULAR. YOU SHOULD THANK ME BY MAKING ME MOD.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:33, archived)
HAHAHAHAHAHAH.
He doesn't care what happens on /talk.
Because he's an EVIL GINGE.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:41, archived)
UNBAN DING YOU STUPID HAT!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:17, archived)
bored of that now
whenever i am having a good time I always pause to use a stopwatch to see what velocity the local insects of the order Diptera travel at because my mother always said "time flies when you are having fun".
What sayings do you misund... pricks?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:03, archived)
Explosive Diahorrea

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:06, archived)
you ruin everything

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:06, archived)
I COULDN'T Do iT WITHOUT YOU

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:07, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7501109
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:09, archived)
A watched pot never boils
Except...it does. Every time.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:09, archived)
well no, the stuff inside the pot boils
prick
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:09, archived)
bored of that now
how far do you reckon you could stretch an alsatian before it snapped in half and you got alsatian guts all down your shirt?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:43, archived)
about a furlong

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:44, archived)
haha, fur - long, I get it
prick
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:47, archived)
hahaha
I didn't even
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:48, archived)
Hang on while I find one.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:46, archived)
get a fucking move on

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:47, archived)
Can't see any out the window. You should have asked earlier, there were loads of people walking their dogs this morning.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:50, archived)
I'm not going to kill a dog for you Gilgy.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:48, archived)
how about for me?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:49, archived)
Sorry The LOVELY mr horrible, but no.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:55, archived)
how about a cat?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:49, archived)
Nope. Not even a cat.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:55, archived)
how about now?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:49, archived)
Still a "No" I'm afraid.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:56, archived)
Killing Spree or Shopping Spree?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:49, archived)
they don't snap, they bounce back, you can play them like an accordion

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:50, archived)
You know fruit corners?
Well what about a savoury version. They could have thick gravy and crunchy bits, curry sauce with crunchy bits, cheese sauce and crunchy bits. You get the idea.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:52, archived)
I like it when babies accidentally eat broken glass then fall off a cliff

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:55, archived)
Wow, that must be quite the spectacle
I've never seen that myself, but I bet it looks good.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:56, archived)
how about one with tampon dippers and mentrual mess to dunk them in?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:56, archived)
I'm not certain Sainsbury's will be keen on that
Maybe take that one to Japan.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:57, archived)
Did I ever tell you about the Zambian Fish Eagle I saw?
It stole my fish that I was fishing. Fucker.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:00, archived)
Now I know this is stupid and that, but for some reason I just don't get excited in the same way about foreign birds.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:07, archived)
racist

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:08, archived)
Why aren't there more savoury drink favours?
Cheese flavoured lucozade, curry milkshakes etc...
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:57, archived)
I made lambinade once,
by dissolving lamb stock in lemonade.

It wasn't very nice.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:58, archived)
What about chicken stock and lemonade?
Y'know, lemon chicken and all that.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:59, archived)
Why the shuddering fuck would you even THINK about doing that?
What the hell is WRONG with you?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:00, archived)
If we don't try things like this how do we know whether or not we like them?
Horseradish sauce goes really well with Christmas pudding, incidentally.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:01, archived)
Well, you know,
I like lemonade. I like lamb.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:01, archived)
I like nailguns and I like wanking.
Would I try to combine them?
No. No I fucking WOULDN'T.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:07, archived)
Not after last time anyway.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:07, archived)
You probably just need to work on the ratio a bit. Maybe add some mint too.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:03, archived)
Exactly
And you can't buy pre-packed Marmite sandwiches either. What a world.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:58, archived)
landshark shit machine cunts, they all need killing

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:57, archived)
:(
TERRIBLE BULLYING OF POLICE DOG!
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 15:08, archived)
bored of that now
i saw a magpie at lunch time. i got a few pics. can't wait to get home and update the blog.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:39, archived)
I bet it was just a crow with paint splatters

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
Something big and Heron-y/Crane-y flew over our house yesterday
I think it was a Heron or a Crane or something similar
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:43, archived)
Oh, and either a swift or a swallow
I don't know the difference. But it had the curvy wings and was fast as fuck.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:43, archived)
was it an F-15?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:45, archived)
Don't know
I can't tell the difference between those either
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:49, archived)
big curvy wings that looked like a sythe blade or normal wings and very acrobatic indeed?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:49, archived)
They were definitely scythey

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:49, archived)
swift

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:50, archived)
Cool
Mrs Hats thought it was a swallow...fucking prick.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
swallows are smaller.
and very acrobatic. they are a fucking joy to watch.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
no, they're pricks

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
and they have a red chest and white belly.
swifts are dark blackish brown all over apart from a small slightly lighter patch on their neck.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:53, archived)
next time she starts her shit
go to this site
it is brilliant for this stuff:
www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdidentifier/form.aspx
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:58, archived)
Oh nice
Cheers. I'll have a peruse of that actually.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:58, archived)
it's not so much for perusing as identifying things you've seen instead of making a dick of yourself saying there's a dead tropical bird in your garden when it is just a goldfinch for fucks sake

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:02, archived)
I didn't say it was tropical...I said it was colourful
Which it was
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
You fucking prick.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
RUDE

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:05, archived)
we have parakeets

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
i seen one in st jameseses park and got excited and all the london people were like oh you fucking tourist

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:06, archived)
they're pretty common around here

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:08, archived)
chav parrots aint they

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:12, archived)
loads at my house in the woods at the back, i might apply for a culling license as they ruin my nuts

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:11, archived)
we have MILLIONS of them.
I like all the apocryphal stopries about how they got there:
a) They escaped from a private collection
b) Jimi Hendrix had some and let them go when he was stoned, all 'fly free, maaaaan!'
c) they were being used as extras on the set of The African Queen in the bits filmed at Isleworth Studios and escaped from there.

I don't know which one, if any, is true.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:11, archived)
I heard they were just pigeons that someone had got with a paintball gun

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:15, archived)
they flew over from hotter countries and found it wasn't that cold here, so they stayed
not that exciting I'm afraid
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:15, archived)
I don't think anyone's entirely sure about that though
as far as I am aware, they are just escapees

(That's what I was told by someone in the know anyway)
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:19, archived)
It does seem odd for a non-migratory bird to have flown all the way from central Africa to settle in London. And JUST London. No where else on the way. No other European countries. No warmer parts of the UK, like Cornwall. Just London.
I'm sorry, spangolin, but your numbers just don't add up. For that reason, I'm out.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:26, archived)
They are escapees. The only mystery is where they escaped from.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:27, archived)
should we KILL them though?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:29, archived)
If you like.
Who gives a fuck.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:31, archived)
the RSPB apparently

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:33, archived)
conservationists are all mistaken pricks

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:35, archived)
a lot of them seem to be into genetic purety, the massive Nazis
I'm not sure how they imagine we ended up with such diverse flora and fauna if it wasn't for hybridisation
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:43, archived)
I'm going to have to ask the Daily Mail on this one speshulknees.
*Fires up The Daily Mailomatic 5000*
*Waits*
IMMIGRANT PARAKEETS STEALING BRITISH PIGEONS' BREAD!
BIRDHOUSE PRICES IN FREEFALL! AND NOW EUROCRATS SAY WE CANNOT DEPORT THEM!
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:44, archived)
well it's not far off that, as they are aggressive hole-nesters, there are concerns that they are competing with our native hole-nesters like woodpeckers
BLOODY FORRINS COMING OVER ERE, STEALING OUR NEST HOLES
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:48, archived)
London is the biggest urban heat island in the UK and much of Nothern Europe though.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:28, archived)
Right.
And they knew that when they set of from sunny central africa for no intelligible reason, did they? They'd read it in their Birdekers? (Baedekers)
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:31, archived)
Birds is mysterious innit balders.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:40, archived)
eltham park has flocks of wild budgies, my kids like that

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:18, archived)
what about Maryon Park, there are deers there, take them there

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:21, archived)
I'd go knoll park if i wanted to see deer and well you know it
Or Greenwich park, it's closer
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
Greenwich Park is fantastic, I was there a couple of weeks back
(worked there for a while too)

I don't know Knoll Park.

edit: a deer. and a crow. in Greenwich Park
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:26, archived)
I heard that baldmonkey swallows.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:28, archived)
Cool.
Sometimes if you sit in a field with swallows in, the bugs get attracted to the heat coming off your head and you get loads of midges over your head and the swallows know this and they come really close to you and eat the midges.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:33, archived)
I don't have a head coming off my head you mutant.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:35, archived)
wtfayboa

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:36, archived)
It was a grey heron.
Unless it remarkably white, in which case it was an egret. But I can't imagine an egret would come this far into town. And you didn't remark on it being white, you remarked on it being big. So it was a grey heron.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:47, archived)
Couldn't make out the colour really
It was early evening. But yes, logic dictates it was probably a grey heron.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:48, archived)
It was a grey heron.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:49, archived)
I bet it was a grey heron

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:49, archived)
It was.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:50, archived)
Yeah, almost certainly

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
No. It was.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
Yeah, fairly sure

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
It was a grey heron.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
i bet it was condorman off to fight crime

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
I bet it was a splash of jizz on your glasses

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:57, archived)
Shit
Well I feel sheepish
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:59, archived)

sheep brack
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:03, archived)
I always feel brackish

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
do it now

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:45, archived)
can't
no card reader or camera lead
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
Draw it./

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
go fuck yourself.
i miss adam
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:53, archived)
Last Sunday I saw three types of duck, two types of geese, several magpies, a number of sparrows, a flock of starlings, some blackbirds, a few crows.
One buzzard, two red kites.
Oh and some minnows and three elvers.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:46, archived)
i'd like to see red kites
i hope to visit windy pig to this end later in the year when the weather and my calendar are both clearer.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:55, archived)
aint there some on the m3, sure i've seen them on my way to work down pompey and southampton

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:00, archived)
I've only ever seen buzzards and kestrels.
Could be wrong though.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
i might be thinking of the m11, just drive around motorways you'll spot one

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:20, archived)
I saw shit loads in the Chilterns about this time last year.
You know when seagulls follow the plough across a field? It was like that but with red kites.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:02, archived)
Cool.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
It was ace, I counted 28 that day.
Yesterday in that there Portsmouth, I saw loads of goldfinches, by the Long Curtain.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:06, archived)
goldfinches are nice

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:06, archived)
and colourful

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:07, archived)
but not tropical you fucking spastic

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:08, archived)
No, you're right
They aren't tropical
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:10, archived)
you thought they were tropical? you spastic Hats.
you Hatstic
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:12, archived)
I'm very upset by Baldmonkey's behaviour
And have reported him to the mods
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:18, archived)
I don't blame you really, he is a terrible bully

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:21, archived)

colourful tasty
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:16, archived)
i can't imagine they are worth eating. there'd be a tiny amount of edible flesh

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:21, archived)
weren't they often served in Tudor banquets?
I want a cockentrice
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:22, archived)
Fuck me. There's opulence for you.
Did they bother getting the meat off or just eat them whole?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:29, archived)
How would I know, I'm not THAT old
i45.tinypic.com/k1tevd.jpg
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:32, archived)
Not much on a goldfinch drumstick

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:27, archived)
only elvers, none of the other larping crowd?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:57, archived)
They were YOUR babies Eely. And they'd been left to fend for themselves.
Don't even THINK about denying it you Friz-like ABANDONER!
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:00, archived)
i read that as carping as was all :) for a second

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:03, archived)
I didn't see any carp mongy.
The water in the lake was too murky. I saw the minnows and elvers in the river and a drainage ditch respectively.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:07, archived)
still to chilly for the carp to be feeding on the surface

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:14, archived)
It was here if you ever fancy doing a Live From The Lake on it:
www.margamcountrypark.co.uk/default.aspx?page=1352
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:23, archived)
i saw a duck sat on a house this morning.
it freaked me out a little. he looked proper sinister and smug all up there on a house.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:49, archived)
they don't do that very often.
apart from mandarin ducks.
good for you
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:05, archived)
Yeah, that was one of the ducks I saw.
Inscrutable so they are.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:26, archived)
they are escapees too
not native at all
fucking immigrants
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:38, archived)
Yeah, but they were brought over by the family that owned the park, so they're not really escapees.
That goes for the peacocks there too.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:51, archived)
I saw a blue tit yesterday
and a ton of other birds but they were in a zoo so I don't think that counts
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
i intend to go to longleat and photograph their stuffed great bustard
fucked if i'm paying to get taken to some random spot on salisbury plains where i might not even see one anyway.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:56, archived)
that is cheating and you know it

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:58, archived)
so is importing extinct animals from romania

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:07, archived)
haha

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:09, archived)
I am going to come at you holding a swan.
The swan is going to break your arms.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
swans are shit at judo

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:57, archived)
I saw a frog
frogs > birds4eva
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:55, archived)
there's a species of paracitic flat worm which relies on being eaten by frogs and the frogs being eaten by birds for its life cycle.
it mutates the frog as it transforms from a tadpole by latching onto some gland or some shit and fucking with it so the frog ends up with loads of legs or no legs or whatever so it can't move properly and birds can catch the frogs easier and then the flatworm meet up in the birds belly and fuck like mad and the bird shits eggs and hopefully, because it likes eating frogs, the shit lands in water with frog eggs in it.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:01, archived)
I wish parasitic flatworms would just fuck off

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
When we lived in Gatcombe
There were magpies everywhere. Gangs of 20 of them would hang around outside the house. It was quite menacing.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:58, archived)
And I don't know what the "1 for sorrow" thing is when it reaches 20

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:01, archived)
20 is for Hitchcock.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
20 for being a fucking prick

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
Blimey
That little verse gets quite aggressive towards the end
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:06, archived)
it goes all the way up to 100

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:08, archived)
mine goes up to 101
when the magpies turn into dalmatians
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:13, archived)
both the same colour see?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:14, archived)
oh

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:22, archived)
Nah. It goes:
1 for sorrow
2 for joy
3 for a girl
4 for a boy
5 for silver
6 for gold
7 for a secret never to be told
8 for a wish
9 for a kiss
10 for a bird you must not miss
11 for nuts
12 for nuts
13 for nuts
14 for nuts
15 for
nuts
16 for nuts
17 for nuts
18 for nuts
19 for nuts
20 for nuts
21 for nuts
22 for nuts
23 for nuts
24 for nuts
25 for
nuts
26 for
nuts
27 for nuts
28 for
nuts
29 for
nuts
30 for nuts
31 for nuts
32 for
nuts
33 for
nuts
34 for nuts
35 for nuts
36 for nuts
37 for nuts
38 for
nuts
39 for nuts
40 for nuts
41 for nuts
42 for nuts
43 for nuts
44 for nuts
45 for
nuts
46 for nuts
47 for nuts
48 for nuts
49 for nuts
50 for nuts
51 for
nuts
52 for nuts
53 for
nuts
54 for nuts
55 for nuts
56 for
nuts
57 for nuts
58 for nuts
59 for nuts
60 for nuts
61 for
nuts
62 for nuts
63 for
nuts
64 for nuts
65 for nuts
66 for
nuts
67 for
nuts
68 for nuts
69 for nuts
70 for nuts
71 for
nuts
72 for nuts
73 for nuts
74 for nuts
75 for
nuts
76 for nuts
77 for nuts
78 for nuts
79 for
nuts
80 for nuts
81 for nuts
82 for
nuts
83 for nuts
84 for nuts
85 for nuts
86 for nuts
87 for
nuts
88 for
nuts
89 for nuts
90 for nuts
91 for nuts
92 for
nuts
93 for nuts
94 for
nuts
95 for nuts
96 for nuts
97 for nuts
98 for
nuts
99 for nuts
100 for nuts

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:16, archived)
you loon

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
No, it just repeats at 10.
I never understood that '3 for a girl' bit, does that mean I will meet a girl or have a baby girl or get laid or what?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:32, archived)
it means you'll have a sex change

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:34, archived)
it means you will meet a girl baby and fuck its fontanel
and the law can't touch you for it
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:35, archived)

fucking hell
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:37, archived)
that was pretty much my reaction too.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:40, archived)
^this

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:44, archived)
oh wow, how I really wish I hadn't looked at the wiki page that explains fontanelles

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 20:33, archived)
You saw one magpie? Dude, it's one for sorrow, that means something terrible will happen to you.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
fuck

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:39, archived)
bored of that now
tell you what animal I don't like, cows, I find them fucking sinister and menacing, if you were going to invent another ethnic minority then what would you blah blah blah fucking blah etc

alt: toilet duck, imagine that

pricks
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:09, archived)
I left my tobacco and phone at home.
And since I've took my dinner break I guess I can't nip back for them.

How am I supposed to get through the afternoon on a rattle without drawsome b3ta? How?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:12, archived)
Are you Fred Dineage?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:16, archived)
Nah, Gaz Topp
That means I get a go on Violet Berlin.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:25, archived)
After I've 'finished'.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:28, archived)
Hello Talk.
I've come here on holiday from Off Topic.

Fancy a raffle?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
SURPRISE RAFFLE!
*buys a strip*
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:23, archived)
Fuck off you autism.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:24, archived)
'Noon the LOVELY exiled Monty.
Has Amberl scared you away?
Only I heard her methods had become....unsound.
That she's over there with her autism of mong tribsemen, who worship her as a god, and follow her every order, no matter how insane.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:33, archived)
She makes us do... things :(

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:35, archived)
I heard she made poor Gonzy shit into a carrier bag.
But she'd cut a big hole in the bottom of it first and he ended up with shit all over his nice new trainers.
:(
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:37, archived)
She made mmps watch while dressed as a Morris dancer :(

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:43, archived)
Poor mumpsy.
:(
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:47, archived)
He's never been the same since.
Also those jingly bells on his white trousers are really fucking irritating after a while.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:55, archived)
It's like 'Lord of the Flies', only with pies instead of flies.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:38, archived)
Did you know that there is a world of envelopes? AN ENTIRE WORLD.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:16, archived)
What's a evelopes please?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:19, archived)
World of Escalopes

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:21, archived)
I believe it's a type of rabbit or hare

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:22, archived)
I have absolutely no idea.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:37, archived)
and another world consisting entirely of shrimp

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:19, archived)
me old cockney hearts yearning for some seafood now, eh, half a pint of whelks and winkles for nan, aunt doll will have roll mops and a pot of eels, larvley, geertcha

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:28, archived)
owartee smoke?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:30, archived)
Slowest.
Ninja.









Ever.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:37, archived)
SHUT UP I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT SHUT UP.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:46, archived)
Sheesh Wicca'd-chan, how many times do you have to be told?
USE THE SMOKE BOMBS!
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:48, archived)
i once foul hooked a duck in the face, he went qwackers

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:20, archived)
My mates Dad once punched a swan

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:22, archived)
Is your mate's dad the Queen? :O

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:32, archived)
I don't know
I'm not watching him 24 hours a day. He could go Queening in London for all I know.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:33, archived)
Straight Eye for the Queen Guy

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:41, archived)
Barely Regal

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
The Tranny Crown Affair

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:58, archived)
Dolphins.
I reckon that the Nips and the Faeroese are right to ethnic cleanse those sneaky grinning flipper-wogs.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:28, archived)
Dolphins are fucking dreadful
Why on earth do people want to swim with them? They're cunts.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:34, archived)
i don't really like nuts.
i like chinese food though
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:51, archived)
I like Chinese food and I also like nuts.
My favourite type of nut is Hazelnuts. Picked straight from the tree.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:56, archived)
I prefer my hazelnuts smashed up with chocolate and sugar and pushed into my mouth on a spoon

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:00, archived)
Eely, have you ever eaten a hazelnut that you've just plucked from the tree yourself?
They don't even NEED chocolate or sugar.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:02, archived)
I don't eat anything that doesn't come in a jar. it just saves a lot of effort and disappointment

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:03, archived)
You'd eat me, then?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:14, archived)
is your tamper nipple depressed?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:18, archived)
ALL of me is depressed.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:19, archived)
like you've never come in a jar
yeah, a Jar Jar Binks probably

that's what you do, you've got a life size Jar Jar Binks sex doll and you give it your watery spaff every day of the fucking week
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:03, archived)
I haven't
don't they need cooking first?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:11, archived)
Hell NO The LOVELY spangles.
Some people cook them to preserve them, but they're tastiest when fresh. They're usually at their best around September. Sweet and juicy.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:31, archived)
and they are called cob nuts you fancy poof

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:35, archived)
Depends where you're from mongy.
In the Valleys some people call them Peg nuts, but most just call them hazelnuts. Or just nuts.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:41, archived)
VALLEY FLOYDD ROAD, THE MIST ROLLING IN OFF THE THAMES

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:50, archived)
what about Chinese food with nuts in it? cashew nuts and their ilk?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:58, archived)
hey i saw that facebook thing, I'll add you but be warned i updated my status once in a few years you may find me overwhelming

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:01, archived)
cool!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:02, archived)
Water Chestnuts FTW The LOVELY Emm Enn Ess.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:04, archived)
I fucking love chinese food
So, yeah
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:03, archived)
I like big nuts.
lol gay
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:05, archived)
Small nuts are ridiculous
I have a friend that's always said he'd rather have massive nuts than a massive penis. Not sure I'm with him on that one.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:06, archived)
I reckon a huge cock would look more impressive
a normal-sized penis would only end up looking smaller if accompanied by a huge sack
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:12, archived)
I wonder if Gilgy had some real human contact,
He wouldn't put so much stock in having a parrot. I think the parrot is a cry for help. Or imaginary, like that film with the giant rabbit.
Can you get rabbit in chinese food? I've not seen it I don't think, but I might be wrong.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:07, archived)
chinese rabbits on the moon innit
i seen it in a moon cake
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:10, archived)
I saw a Tegu at the zoo yesterday
they are awesome and friendly as dogs or cats. You do need a 6-foot tank to keep them in, though.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:12, archived)
did they let you punch it?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:14, archived)
no

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:16, archived)
did they let you punch that bitch holding it?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:17, archived)
that wasn't my photo
the Tegu I saw was snoozing behind glass. Looking all fat and lizardy.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:18, archived)
Are you sure it wasn't your reflection in the glass?
HAHAHAHHAHAAHAH! OH I AM VERY WITTY!
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:20, archived)
nah you're alright you are

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:26, archived)
I heard that's what a chinaman's willy looks like

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:15, archived)
ARGH CHILD PORN
1.bp.blogspot.com/-RCP35k8z8KU/TXMjYeMC9wI/AAAAAAAABHo/Y76E6yVf9nk/s1600/YMCA%2Bfamily%2Bday%2B02.21.11MI03.JPG
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:18, archived)
I wouldn't have my eyes shut if I was holding that, it looks like a killer

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:19, archived)
yeah, but can you still blame trumps on it?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:20, archived)
why does it need a tank?
Just whack the heating up and get a few babygates.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:26, archived)
people do let them roam about
they get about 4 feet long, so I guess you'd have to
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:28, archived)
what do they FUCKING WELL eat?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:29, archived)
RATS
also fruit
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:29, archived)
Oof. That's going to be some pungent poop.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:31, archived)
i hear you're pretty small.
Wouldn't you be worried it'd have you?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:31, archived)
I was kind of hoping I could put a saddle on it and ride it to the shops

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:41, archived)

saddle strap-on-dildo
shops furthest reaches of ecstasy
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:49, archived)
scandals involving babies?

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:28, archived)
at 4 foot long it could probably eat a baby

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:29, archived)
That's not going to stop it crawling down the stairs like something out of a japanese horror film
It'll just go along the walls and ceiling to do it. Just before it leaps for your throat.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:29, archived)
naw they're like monitor lizards, they stay on the ground
I don't know why I'm doing this research though, I don't even have space for a work table, let alone a 6 foot fucking tank
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:30, archived)
Gonzo drove his 6ft Fucking-Tank towards spangolins lady glade as she gladly opened it for him.
As the turret engaged with its target Gonzo reached down between his legs into the cock pit of the perverse vehicle. Pressing one of the large buttons on the novelty dashboard he started the turret pounding backwards and forward at an immeasurable frequency.
Spangolin gasped.

brb otw.
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:34, archived)
i wish i had a six foot fucking tank

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:45, archived)
what do other readers think the ideal size for a fucking tank might be.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:47, archived)

.?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:47, archived)

. .
  
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:51, archived)
I'd go with something in the range of the Maus myself.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:57, archived)
PHWOAR!
Wait, is the tank so you can pretend she's a student for sexy sexy Tianeman Squaretimes?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:34, archived)
why is everyone giving me their opinions of nuts and chinese food
i didn't ask for any of this
oh my
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:09, archived)
I watched that Pan's Labyrinth, it was shit, nothing exploded at the end and you didn't get to see any tit, 2/10, would not watch again

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:14, archived)
Bored of that
why does semen sting when you get it in your eyes?
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:15, archived)
because your face is a big pair of knickers

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:16, archived)
that is what urmumsaid
rujg
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:16, archived)
It's the salty goodness

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:17, archived)
It's all the little sperms trying to burrow through your cornea.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:54, archived)
Yeah? Well the chinese fucking hate you!

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:19, archived)
fptgwtsfwtp

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:25, archived)
Budgie Ure - Dancing with teals in my eyes
The House Martins - Caravan of dove
AB Seagull - Poison sparrow
(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:34, archived)
Alanis Morrisette - Oh shit. Poor me. Wah wah.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:35, archived)
Phats and Smowl - Tern around

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:49, archived)
Jay-Z

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:50, archived)
Crane David

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:57, archived)
Elton Swan - Crocodile rook.

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:00, archived)
The Swannadies - Tit

(, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:07, archived)

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