sympathy post

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 7:20, archived)

Before you sit down to resolve all the ways you'll solve yourself in 2015, take a few minutes to celebrate who you are and what you have accomplished in 2014. Here's how to do that. Actually get out a piece of paper (or create a nourishing space with a friend or loved one) and answer the golden question I asked above. Here, I'll ask it again:

What have you created that you really love?

NOTE: This is NOT another gratitude list. Nor is this about noticing all the gifts from others or the universe (though these are both wonderful practices, but for another time). Now it's about you ... and the results you create every day.

You might have items on your list like:

• I have people in my life who love me.
• I hold down a job and I get myself there.
• I finished that project that was challenging for me.
• I figured out how to use my new smartphone.
• I got outside and soaked in the sun.
• I found PJs that are soft and warm.
• I made sure my dog/cat/guinea pig/other pet was always well-fed.
• I told a joke and everyone in the room laughed.
• I put together a playlist that makes me happy.
• I took risks.
• I noticed beauty.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 7:25, archived)

Hahahaha

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 10:21, archived)

What the fuck is this HERESY?
No. I hate everyone.
No. I'm never gonna work another day in my life.
No. This is meaningless bullshit for worker drones.
No. My Phillips Savvy still works fine, ta.
No. I don't want skin cancer.
No. I like the cold and Pyjamas are for children and cunts, and don't even get me started on that whole adult baby "onesie" thing, any cunt that owns one of those deserves gassing and shooting in the face, TWICE if they "own one 'ironically'".
No. Cruelty to dumb animals is only marginally less fun than cruelty to dumb humans
No. I'm not your fucking Stewart Lee, I see no need to amuse a roomful of cunts that I'd probably despise.
No. I only ever listen to SLAYER: Angel Of Death. Constantly.
No. I made OTHER idiots take risks.
No. What I noticed was sluts and harlots. AND GOD TOLD ME TO PUNISH THEM ALL! At least I think that's what he said. God mumbles like Marlon Brando.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 30 Dec 2014, 11:29, archived)

Excellent

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 11:58, archived)

I like the second post better
But slayer are shit
And I am not a noob
(luckybird, Wed 31 Dec 2014, 0:34, archived)

yes yes yes
My animals were all well fed
Then I ate them all
I noticed loveliness
It was my own
Oh the world is full of amazing people and joy
:-)
(luckybird, Wed 31 Dec 2014, 0:45, archived)

Wow, bintime
Hello all. x
(WildType is remixing your mum, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 1:41, archived)

shove it up your cunt

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 2:02, archived)

Hooray! My fucking Christmas Tree went!
I set the fucker on fire. Happy b3ta everyone.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 0:30, archived)

happy b3ta day
ps. you cunt!
(MrKane 01234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 0:31, archived)

alright Kane

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 0:35, archived)

prick

(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Tue 30 Dec 2014, 0:32, archived)

wanker

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 0:35, archived)

oh yeah, and happy candle day you cunt.

(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Tue 30 Dec 2014, 0:39, archived)

Frohliche kerzetag!

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 30 Dec 2014, 0:54, archived)

I do love a bit of world's strongest man, and I wish they'd bring kickstart back, people wobbling off scafold planks was xmas,
You can disagree if you want, ive said my piece
( mongychops, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 20:50, archived)

i used to watch world's strongest man when i was a kid
magnus ver magnusson was the don
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 21:22, archived)

it's still gripping

( mongychops, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 21:36, archived)

there's a fella in wwe who is billed as 'the world's strongest man' as he set some weightlifting records in the 90s that still haven't been beaten

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 21:44, archived)

fella in wwe who is billed as 'the world's strongest man' as he set some weightlifting records in the 90s that still haven't been beaten guy works down the chipshop swears he's Elvis
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 22:03, archived)

that too

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 22:09, archived)

I ate
the world's strongest cheese.
( the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 21:41, archived)

WAH - WAH - WAH
WAHWAHWAHWAH WAH - WAH - WAH- WAH - WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

was the theme music to Kickstart
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 22:01, archived)

sounds more like the theme music to /qotw

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 22:10, archived)

terrible bullying
MOD... oh, wait.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 23:27, archived)

can you get rid of this fucking christmas tree yet?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 23:27, archived)

alright.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 29 Dec 2014, 16:34, archived)

How do.

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 16:38, archived)

Doing the do, y'know.
Writing papers and feeding the birds.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 29 Dec 2014, 16:40, archived)

What are you feeding them to?

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 16:48, archived)

nearly

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 17:34, archived)

Hope you make it, buddy.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 29 Dec 2014, 18:51, archived)

alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 18:03, archived)

Aye, grand.
Yourself?
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 29 Dec 2014, 18:51, archived)

adequate

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 19:23, archived)

Evening Colonel

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 19:50, archived)

Evening.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 30 Dec 2014, 0:54, archived)

This is a new fucking low

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 20:42, archived)

merry christmas everyone!

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 11:55, archived)

haha yeah

( MONO!, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 12:47, archived)

hahahaha

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 12:49, archived)

Oh hi Friz.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 29 Dec 2014, 12:53, archived)

christ, just shut the fuck up will you, no one's reading all that shit you type

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 13:11, archived)

it's /talk's very own Joe Pasquale, ladies and gennulmen!

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 13:59, archived)

Are you saying that Gilgy's a squeaky-voiced, charismaless prick Grrry?
*Thinks about it for a bit*
Yeah, you're right.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 29 Dec 2014, 14:02, archived)

i thought that said 'christmasless'
but no, you're correct. carry on
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 14:47, archived)

We haven't had christmas since stuj ruined it again, again.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 29 Dec 2014, 14:49, archived)

online

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 15:44, archived)

have I missed dr who?

( mongychops, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 15:43, archived)

no, it got cancelled 20 years ago

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 16:28, archived)

All I want for Christmas...
...is a poo
( $$ ✅, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 16:06, archived)

planned

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 9:13, archived)

you weren't

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 11:40, archived)

hi

( MONO!, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 9:07, archived)

Where's mongy?
I need to know about MOSFETs
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 8:51, archived)

i love MOSFETs

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 11:51, archived)

A MOSFET once bit my sister.

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 11:53, archived)

fuck off MOSFETs, use valves instead you prick

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 12:07, archived)

Relay logic is the future.
[edit] Want one of these.
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 12:10, archived)

fix the link you empty-headed cuntlick

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 12:49, archived)

And deprive you of something to whine about?

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 13:33, archived)

Didn't he do Press Gang?

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 17:33, archived)

I just wrote a really witty and intelligent thread on my laptop
But because I changed my username on my phone and was too pissed to remember what it was it wouldnt let me post it.

Fucking mods
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 3:19, archived)

Anyone seen my toy helicopter? I lost it somewhere near
Indonesia where that planned went missing...lol
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 23:55, archived)

planned planned planned planned planned planned planned planned planned planned planned planned planned planned planned

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 0:03, archived)

"lol"

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 0:10, archived)

this is a shit thread

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 0:10, archived)

Seconded

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 2:23, archived)

reminder: it's still christmas

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 18:30, archived)

remember to put your chrbinsmas out

( vladimir, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 18:59, archived)

Nobody bought me the Ethernet cable I wanted!
I only asked for a 1m cable!

www.chord.co.uk/product/chord-sarum-ethernet-tuned-aray/

:-(
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 19:12, archived)

I got the 2 metre one

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 19:35, archived)

PITCH PERFECT DAVE, wanker
( mongychops, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 21:02, archived)

not clicking that, could be a virus

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 21:14, archived)

I got about ten of these but threw them out as I didn't them.
Shame really.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 22:35, archived)

you fat ballbag

( mongychops, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 20:19, archived)

that's not very nice, especially as it's christmas

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 21:14, archived)

got bored, soz

( mongychops, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 23:13, archived)

fuck off is it

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 21:57, archived)

It's christmas until you run out of figgy pudding.

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 22:03, archived)

WE ALL LIKE A FIGGY PUDDING
WE ALL LIKE A FIGGY PUDDING
WE ALL LIKE A FIGGY PUDDING
AND A FIGGY PUDDING
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 23:37, archived)

This post is offensive to Muslims.
Probably.
(#1, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 22:27, archived)

fuck 'em

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 23:37, archived)

make it a Seinfeld Christmas
soundcloud.com/jetaimeabelard/seinwave
( $$ ✅, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 22:45, archived)

can't help feeling I'd derive more enjoyment from that if I'd ever seen Seinfeld

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 23:38, archived)

Kay Burley hot footing it to Asia to tell relatives of the missing that they are "probably dead", followed by "how does that make you feel?"
Afternoon. Hope you had a good xmas.
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 13:36, archived)

dunno who that is.
are all missing people probably dead or just Asians?
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 15:09, archived)

She's the worlds most sensitive TV reporter.
Are you suggesting that all the non asian passengers were on a mission of racially motivated slaughter, and that they are probably cannibaling it it up on an island somewhere?
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 22:00, archived)

No idea, I'm not feeling very well, soz.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 29 Dec 2014, 17:32, archived)

I fucking love christmas I do

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 12:06, archived)

nearly easter

( mongychops, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 12:45, archived)

There was Easter chocolates out on fucking display in my local co-op LAST WEEK mongy.
3 fucking days BEFORE xmas and they'd ALREADY put out the Easter shit.
Sometimes I think the Taliban were right.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 28 Dec 2014, 12:49, archived)

when i used to work in co-op, we'd put the creme eggs out on boxing day

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 13:08, archived)

might go get myself an egg then

( mongychops, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 13:08, archived)

me too
i've got a pint of christmas beer here

to be honest it's not really better than their regular stuff but i went for it because christmas
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 13:07, archived)

morning

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 11:03, archived)

mr.h

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 11:30, archived)

mr horrible

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 11:33, archived)

'Noon The LOVELY Mr H.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 28 Dec 2014, 12:50, archived)

I've got flu, you got flu?
Smelly poo?
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 1:54, archived)

Death would be too good for you

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 5:38, archived)

takes one to know one

(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Sun 28 Dec 2014, 10:20, archived)

general rule of thumb:
if you're well enough to tell people you have the flu, you do not have the flu.

Now kill yourself.
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Sun 28 Dec 2014, 9:59, archived)

if you're well enough to tell people you have the flu, you do not have the flu.

Now
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 11:56, archived)

Now hold on. If brbaldmonkey kills himself, who's gonna tell you to put about your bins?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 28 Dec 2014, 12:50, archived)

In fairness I spent nearly a week writhing in agony and hallucinating before getting the strength to post on a comedy text based forum.
Mostly clearing my lungs and feeling slightly dizzy now.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 15:06, archived)

well I wish it could be christmas every day

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 21:23, archived)

well this Xmas Santa sorted me out with a good seeing to
so I'm on board with this
( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 21:37, archived)

get off my fucking case

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 21:56, archived)

Merry Christmas shut ins
I am in the juicer
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 22:33, archived)

and posting needily on b3ta

(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Sat 27 Dec 2014, 23:13, archived)

And you fucking replying needily to a reply on b3ta you bad sad fuck
Oh and yeah I replied needily to his needy reply.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 5:39, archived)

I was in the juicer Mr Sad Colon
I think the last time you put me on ignore it was because I touched a nerve and asked you...do you have a girlfriend yet? I will now expand said question to include the variable of "boyfriend"
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 5:41, archived)

The ignore button is just right there

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 28 Dec 2014, 5:42, archived)

morning

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 18:44, archived)

Hi-de-Hi!

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 18:51, archived)

Richard.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 18:57, archived)

dozo

( H.B.Mupps, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 19:26, archived)

Captain Mupparama

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 19:41, archived)

still christmas, just saying

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 15:57, archived)

christmas is an abstract concept

( mongychops, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 16:09, archived)

alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 17:02, archived)

Saturnalia was much more fun

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 17:50, archived)

it is and all
might eat and drink some more
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 27 Dec 2014, 18:35, archived)