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H'i wanker's

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:31, archived)
hello beefster

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:33, archived)
Y'o

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:28, archived)
h'i
happy World Environment Day
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:34, archived)
enjoy it while it lasts

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:39, archived)
Blayz it

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:28, archived)
apologies to anyone affected by forest fires

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:53, archived)
what about brush fires?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:58, archived)
what about basil brush?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 16:00, archived)
i don't quite hate him enough to turn him over to Theresa May

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 16:08, archived)
he can fuckin' do one an' all

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 16:20, archived)
fuck 'em

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 16:19, archived)
i like your style

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 16:20, archived)
Alright Rich.
Recommend me starting points for Muddy Waters and Howlin Wolf, yeah?
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:35, archived)
go for The Best of...

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:37, archived)
^
Not joking
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:28, archived)
2 names that make me think of alabama 3's 'woke up this morning'

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:44, archived)
Also check out Son House, Leadbelly and Big Bill Broonzy
And you can't go wrong with the 3 kings, if you find those boys a bit much
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:48, archived)
One in a taxi, one in a car?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:53, archived)
that's right, just leave out the poor scooter rider
bloody 4-wheeled elitist!
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:55, archived)
I'll bet the scooter rider has parked considerately, though.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:02, archived)
cunt yesterday parked almost in the middle of the road
he wasn't even waiting for a fare
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:16, archived)
yer

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:13, archived)
Will do.
Just seen that this is a thing. Will probably watch it.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadillac_Records
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:54, archived)
Cool, I've not seen that

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:15, archived)
looks bent

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:52, archived)
U LOOK BENT

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 16:17, archived)
no m8

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 16:47, archived)
so bent

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 17:02, archived)
u

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 17:12, archived)
alright lads break it up we've all had a few drinks lets not spoil it

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 17:19, archived)
nah I'm not having it, he always gets like this, I'm sick of it

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 17:26, archived)
^ looking in a mirror

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 16:31, archived)
did I ever tell you about the time I shook hands with Honeyboy Edwards?
It's quite the anecdote.
Well, actually that's basically it in the subject line.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:54, archived)
it's no 'nice chips mate' or seeing big ron atkinson on a petrol station forecourt.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:57, archived)
still, it puts me one link away from Robert Johnson
which has to count for something, right?
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:59, archived)
Well, I liked it

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:13, archived)
I have one or two other hand-shaking anecdotes, but I'll save them for another day

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:19, archived)
<s> ndy

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:20, archived)
Yeah, you don't want to get me too worked up all at once

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:29, archived)
That's pretty fucking cool m8

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:53, archived)
This is gr8
www.discogs.com/Various-Folk-Festival-Of-The-Blues/release/2012044
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:54, archived)
ta

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 16:08, archived)
HTPC chat is a winner, in my book.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:42, archived)
risky acronym, that

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:45, archived)
He'

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:47, archived)
5 million i reckon
www.hodinkee.com/articles/paul-newmans-paul-newman-daytona-rolex
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:50, archived)
That's pretty cool

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 18:24, archived)
I'm John Terry AMA!

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:59, archived)
I don't know who John Terry is.
Can you help?
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:02, archived)
yeah

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:03, archived)
Great!
My phone is running out of battery, and I've misplace my USB cable. Got any spares?
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:04, archived)
no

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:04, archived)
Useless.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:13, archived)
is it true that some of your best friends are black cunts?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:06, archived)
yeah but some are white cunts as well

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:11, archived)
Do you agree that people with a surname that is a first name are all fucking queer?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:14, archived)
lol

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:15, archived)
no mate

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:20, archived)
shame

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:29, archived)
Bit homophobic, Two Hats.
We say differently sexual, these days.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:23, archived)
'vaginally averse'

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:34, archived)
'vagitarian'

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:38, archived)
that would be the female equivalent, I suppose

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:42, archived)
woah hold on a minute
you get women who put their willies up men's bottoms now?
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:52, archived)
You sure do

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:56, archived)
if you're lucky

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:57, archived)
he should've cheicked himself before he wreicked himself.
www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/cheick-tiote-dead-dies-died-newcastle-united-beijing-enterprises-heart-attack-cause-of-death-a7773986.html
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 16:55, archived)
poor guy

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 17:57, archived)
also Peter Sallis

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 18:03, archived)
I did a tandem skydive last week
Ever done any high-adrenaline activity?
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:08, archived)
Yes
Most weekends
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:10, archived)
talking to your kid's mum doesn't count

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:19, archived)
she's not being *too* bad at the moment actually
It won't last
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:22, archived)
Isn't it a bit difficult to carry the bike up those steep stairs leading up to the plane?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:11, archived)
I wish I didn't find this funny

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:22, archived)
I don't

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:51, archived)
that's how Graeme Garden died, you know

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:25, archived)
yes, he is dead, shut up

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:29, archived)
pff

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:39, archived)
i think you have to go and kill him now
to avoid looking foolish
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:22, archived)
Ok, I'm back
He did NOT go down without a fight
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:06, archived)
fuck
I had a tenner on him killing you
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:18, archived)
he'd never take Bill Oddie

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:23, archived)
NO REAL NAMES!!!
RIP Cranley
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:31, archived)
Track day on a motorbike
that was heart-thumping stuff.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:13, archived)
must be nice to be the one doing the riding
for a change
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:30, archived)
Not rising to THAT

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:48, archived)
i don't own harrison torrix's as ornaments

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:16, archived)
big thrills

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:29, archived)
Sometimes, sometimes heart break

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:43, archived)
Yup.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:17, archived)
cool

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:30, archived)
Not sure

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:18, archived)
Didn't you paraglide off the spinnaker tower in to a boat in the harbour that you then sailed to the west Indies on your own?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:41, archived)
Yeah
but it wasn't as exciting as you might think
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:44, archived)
I once mixed a scoop of real coffee in with the decaf.
That was a wild week!
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:39, archived)
aka a 'speedball'

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:40, archived)
I thought that was k-cider and super-tennents snakebite.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:40, archived)
Surely that'd just make you sleepy?
Or bilious.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:42, archived)
4 cans of Super T will almost always be the pre-cursor of something unexpected happening. This event will sometimes be good, more often bad.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:51, archived)
Someone fed me a pint of Kestrel Super, once.
All I managed to do was fill the pint glass to the brim with vomit.

That said, I did end the evening wrestling my flatmate whilst we were both smeared in a mixture of nutella and honey.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:55, archived)


(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:02, archived)
Students, eh, what are they like!

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:08, archived)
I wanted to ask you about raspberry pi stuff
but you've put me off now
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:51, archived)
Retired my pi in favour of a fireTV,
the boy has his setup in his room for homework purposes, but much of the homework he gets uses Flash, so it's not seeing much use at the moment.

Nonetheless, I've stripped off and coated myself in Marmite, in anticipation of your question.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:25, archived)
yer, I remember you saying you'd get rid of the Pi
is it cos it was too slow, or because KODI is shit, or something else? I just got a Pi B+ for free and thought I'd try it as a media player since the one in my TV is a cumbersome sack of shit.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:28, archived)
i use one of those, it's fine.
If you don't care for streaming live sport, whack on osmc then install salts and genesis. Everything else is superflous.

Most people put kodi on the firesticks anyway. Firesticks will run netflix but pi's are actually better on kodi as they'll dynamically change the refresh rate for the telly so films output at 24p with none of that 3:2 pulldown bullshit/
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:29, archived)
this is the info I need
and is OSMC alright for playing media off a NAS? I have a stupid amount of music and I'd like a decent front end for choosing albums
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:45, archived)
OSMC is a prebuilt version of linux and kodi.
It'll play off your nas, kodi supports smb (windows) shares, it'll even index them all and get metadata from imdb and freedb, it stores them in it's own db without touching the files. I don't think I've even given it write access to my shares.

Auto-discover has never worked properly for me though so you'll probably have to enter the ip and share name etc yourself. But you'll only need to do it once.

Also there are good remote apps for controlling it from your phone (yaste) which allow you to type things in, but if your telly does CEC over hdmi, which most do it should let you navigate with your telly remote.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:48, archived)
wicked, that's perfect info
monster munch, you're fired
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:55, archived)
Got any wet wipes?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:58, archived)
I found Kore easier to use than Yatse.
And I scrape all my metadata using mediaelch on the PC, and have kodi read that from the server, which I think I started doing so as to ease the burden on the pi.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:01, archived)
I don't know if kore will do it but what I like about yaste is I can share youtube videos to it from my phone and they play on my telly.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:03, archived)
Don't think it does that,
but then I can cast from my phone to the fire, anyway, should the need arise (it almost never does).
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:06, archived)
I had a model A pi, so it was a bit slow.
I was running OSMC on it, and it was a bit slow and prone to crashing. Video would stutter a bit, but I cured that with some new powerline adaptors, then retired the pi in favour of the fireTV, as I wanted access to iPlayer, Netflix, Prime, and kodi from a single device, rather than swapping between the Wii, pi, and the TV's built in iPlayer.
For just streaming local media, the pi is more than adequate.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:44, archived)
I think mine's the pi 2. I found it faster and more reliable than the firestick on kodi but it could've been the addons I had.
My firestick sometimes stutters and makes a weird timestretchy noise like an aphex twin track.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:49, archived)
Firestick can be a bit slow for kodi, although still faster than my pi was.
The second-gen fireTV box that I have downstairs is plenty quick enough, though.
Might set the pi up in the kids playroom, but that's on it's own electrical circuit, so powerline Ethernet doesn't do so well, in there
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:54, archived)
I think he should be able to use flash if he installs chromium/chrome, hth.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:30, archived)
this'll probably do it

sudo apt update && yes | sudo apt upgrade && sudo apt install chromium


note - yes | apt upgrade will just say 'yes' to anything it asks you while updating.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:31, archived)
I think I did that, and it sent the pi into a very (very) long upgrade sequence.
Not found the time to look at it since. Must check it out.
Gonna move a crusty old laptop onto Mint, this week, which I'm sure will be a rewarding experience - I'm downgrading it from an SSD to HDD to make it happen, for reasons I don't fully understand.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:57, archived)
I recently whacked debian on a thinkpad x230 I bought for about £150.
I put an SSD in it to make it faster.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:02, archived)
Something to do with a horrible locked down BIOS means that any and all Linux tools I've used have refused to recognise the installed SSD,
but are more than happy to see an old HDD.
I don't need it, and I should chuck it out, but where's the fun in that?
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:10, archived)
I'm going to take this opportunity to whore what I did with mine again.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvdtI-5laQ8
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:28, archived)
what's so special about it?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:02, archived)
The leds behind the telly are being driven by it.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:03, archived)
well LA DE DAH

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:05, archived)
GS af

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:12, archived)
Rather! I vaguely remember putting myself to bed,
but the other party to the wrestling match passed out and ended up being dragged by his feet to his room. He was less than thrilled with the carpet burns that covered his back, when he came to.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:14, archived)
I think this is the gayest thing I've ever read on here
Good job, MoMu
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:18, archived)
Fabulous.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:22, archived)
Went on the big one in Blackpool
The seatbelt came undone at the start of the slope and I wasn't fastened in. Pretty sure I left fingerprints in the metal. That was terrifying.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:48, archived)
That seems unsafe.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:56, archived)
It was
I had massive norks back then and the bar wouldn't come down over them, so I had to sit in the front seat and have a seatbelt. When it clicked open, I did an immediate starfish impression and hung on literally for my life
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:16, archived)
This story features two of my favourite things.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:32, archived)
starfish and seatbelts

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:47, archived)
Wahey!

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:23, archived)
starfish are pretty awesome

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:08, archived)
fighting a bear on amphetamines

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:50, archived)
Why was the bear on amphetamines?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:52, archived)
adhd

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:57, archived)
Gritty reboot of Paddington.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:57, archived)
Dossing around the station relying on handouts to feed his spice addiction
But the stuff we get here is nothing on the stuff he got in Darkest Peru
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:45, archived)
Paddington II
Meets The Revenant

(well, if Leonardo WILL keep marmalade sandwiches down there...)
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:50, archived)
he's too cheap to pay for a proper bikini wax

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:09, archived)
we both were
otherwise it's hardly a fair fight
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:00, archived)
url story for you
www.eveningtimes.co.uk/news/15324030.Pensioner_stood_at_window_and_swung_his_genitals_around_because_he_thought_neighbour_fancied_him/
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:18, archived)
If there's a better way of signaling your intention, I'd like to hear it.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:23, archived)
ace
i hope it worked
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:23, archived)
Swing and a miss.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:25, archived)
he'd run out of poppers

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:03, archived)
Been bungee jumping a couple of times, that was quite fun

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:12, archived)
it doesn't count as a separate jump each time you boing, ya know

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 12:46, archived)
I talked to a real life lady once

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 13:47, archived)
bullshit

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:06, archived)

y
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:07, archived)
someone else started a thread once
that really got my heart rate up
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:09, archived)
everyone fell asleep during your nerd chat

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:20, archived)
That was the best bit,
and you know it.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 14:25, archived)
morning

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 7:31, archived)
Morning.
Did you have a nice week off?
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 7:39, archived)
no
but I'm glad normal service has resumed
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 7:42, archived)
Small mercies, eh, at least you've got your health, like, jumpers for goalposts.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 7:45, archived)
Shit it up your bum

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 7:50, archived)
you'd need some sort of funnel

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 7:50, archived)
*farts*

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:23, archived)
my British diet has made my guffs REEK

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:28, archived)
yo

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:28, archived)
word up

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:28, archived)
isn't it wonderful to be back at work?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:36, archived)
this is infinitely preferable to my previous week

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:43, archived)
Did you not have fun?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:26, archived)
grrry doesn't do fun

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:28, archived)
I jumped out of a plane
that was fun
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:46, archived)
they put steps up to ours

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:57, archived)
well that's no fun

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:01, archived)
highs and lows
big highs, big lows, huge relief to be back in Poland now
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:39, archived)
kiss my winkle

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:29, archived)
I saw loads of winkles, didn't kiss any
not gonna start now
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:31, archived)
nah
Think I've got tonsillitis again. If so, they will have to come out thanks to previous issues. At least I can go private since I got married thanks to her employer. Still 'sucks ass' as our 'special relationship' 'pardners' might say.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:33, archived)
not if that trot corbyn gets his way

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:38, archived)
I hope he sends all the buggers back

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:41, archived)
Close every McDonalds, they are incompatible with our traditional British values

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:47, archived)
Nationalise Wimpy.
Subsidised benders for all!
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:55, archived)

mp nd
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:31, archived)
when scotland fuck off, they'll all be renamed just 'donalds'

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:41, archived)
Perhaps we could rename it O'Donnels
get the micks onside
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:45, archived)
Donald is a name with Gaelic roots, though.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:48, archived)
shut up mgt

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:49, archived)
I'll thank you to respect my Pictish heritage.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:59, archived)
yeah, and you know a thing or two about gay licks, eh!

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:59, archived)
I'm dribbling on the blarney stone, right now.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:01, archived)
that sort of operation will prevent you smokin da erb for a while
are you prepared for that?
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:44, archived)
I don't smoke much any more tbh
Couple of times a week perhaps
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:54, archived)
Bottle of rum and a Stanley knife, I'll sort that op for you
Say "aaah".
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:50, archived)
What's your Centor score?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:53, archived)
4

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:55, archived)
I have no idea what that is, I'm afraid
All I know is that when I had my last abscess issue the chap said if I had another, my tonsils would have to go.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:56, archived)
If only there was some way of finding out using the internet

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:06, archived)
OK I've looked this up.
Sadly I am unable to answer regarding cervical lymphadenopathy, pharyngeal erythema, oedema, or exudate due to my NOT BEING A FUCKING DOCTOR.

Appreciate your help though.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:48, archived)
So, a 6 then?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:49, archived)
yep

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:55, archived)
ok. now that's out of the way
what's your centaur score?
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:20, archived)
Uh, excuse me, but I'm half centaur
so I'd appreciate you not taking the piss, yeah?
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:25, archived)
so your score is 50%
this is a legitimate medical survey
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:26, archived)
are you admitting to being a horse's arse?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:27, archived)
MODS

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:45, archived)
If only the internet was able to tell you what those various terms mean.
God, you're as bad as my patients
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:44, archived)
I thought Google based self-diagnosis was discouraged by real, by which I mean not lazy professionals?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:10, archived)
abscess makes the heart grow fonder
/my dad
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:30, archived)
Alright, Dolores Umbridge

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:56, archived)
I have no idea what that is, I'm afraid

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:07, archived)
If only there was some way of finding out using the internet
Seriously, though, rape as punishment is a great subject to include in a book aimed at children.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:23, archived)
I don't remember that bit
although to be fair I tried to pay as little attention as possible
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:29, archived)
It's implicit, and Rowling has confirmed her intent in subsequent interviews.
Any film after Goblet... is boring, anyhow. And the books are worse.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:32, archived)
She played that character really well
Made her easy to despise
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:50, archived)
I will agree with this.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:59, archived)
It helped that I can't fucking stand pink

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:14, archived)

can't
and p
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:22, archived)
Just my feet

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:25, archived)
Morning grrry.
To welcome you back I made this collage of things you like.
i.imgur.com/1qUEl1b.png
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:47, archived)
Needs more scouring powder

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:48, archived)
vim on a virtual Mac :(((((

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:51, archived)
Mark Morrison's lesser-known, etc.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:52, archived)
Is this the nerd version of 'christ on a bike'?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:27, archived)
I've only ever known vi to be used by proper old school computer dweebs

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:53, archived)
Hmmm

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:48, archived)
^ eating a really chewy toffee

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:51, archived)
I thought we'd given up on morning threads?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:53, archived)
we just took a well-needed break

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:57, archived)
Have you considered early retirement?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:58, archived)
if I could find someone to pass the chalice over to, yeah
but I'm like that old bloke at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:11, archived)
That Elsa, though, eh?
Cor!
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:25, archived)
lol doody

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:26, archived)
lol, indeed.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:33, archived)
This is the morning thread reboot

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:01, archived)
It's the remix to ignition,

Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin' that body
Got every man in here wishin'
Sippin' on coke and rum (rum)
I'm like so what I'm drunk (drunk)
It's the freakin' weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun (fun)
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:25, archived)
Although I find coke to be an appalling choice of mixer,
I have been known to enjoy a Dirty Black Russian.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:29, archived)
alright spanishfly

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:55, archived)
*2am rambling post due to substance abuse*

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:00, archived)
he gazzed me recently asking for his username back as he'd been foolish enough to relinquish it
i was nice enough to comply despite being called a spastic in the request. the reply i got back was:
"Hey fucked"

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:28, archived)
He's gazzed me a couple of times, i think he's in a hard place at the minute

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:30, archived)
Direct communication with you is a recognised cry for help.

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:32, archived)
what, like the back of a volkswagen?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:36, archived)
^

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:46, archived)
but it is all just lies

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:38, archived)
he'll be loving all this attention though

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 11:03, archived)
*shakes it like a fucking polaroid picture*

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:47, archived)
Grrrmachine is The One?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:26, archived)
I have to chop everyone else's head off?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:28, archived)
Sure, what's the worst that could happen?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:33, archived)
If he does everyone's he can escape punishment

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:51, archived)
morning

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:54, archived)
morning 2 Can

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:57, archived)
It's just that kind of careless talk
that costs lives.

I hope you're proud of yourself!
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:56, archived)
positively smug m8

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 8:57, archived)
Well....
that's just typical of you.
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:08, archived)
super cres

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:24, archived)
so fresh

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:25, archived)
And a felicitous a.m to you

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:48, archived)
you sucking my knob?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:54, archived)
Eating tangy cheese doritos
So the taste is pretty much the same
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:16, archived)
want some dip?

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:24, archived)
Nah, they're all gone

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 10:25, archived)
Hello.
What's going on in this part of the internet then?
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 0:44, archived)
Sympathy reply

(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 7:50, archived)
This concerts pretty good innit?

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 21:42, archived)
little mix would fucking get it

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 21:47, archived)
I don't like Liams jacket
Looks like one of those free ponchos they give you before you ride the log flume.
(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 21:52, archived)
you would prefer four Sian Williams

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 22:26, archived)
*googles*
Two of them are quite fit, one has a slight Ru Paul thing going on with her hair and eyebrows and one of them looks like the reanimated corpse of Geri Halliwell.
(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 22:29, archived)
You say 'ru Paul thing' like it's a downside

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 22:35, archived)
^gets high and masturbates to ladyboy pr0n^

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 23:06, archived)
Is it going with a bang?

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 21:59, archived)
The which the what the why the when the where?

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 22:00, archived)
The fuck. You been living in a cave for the last week?

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 22:02, archived)
Yeah. Plotting.
See, I'm thinking they only reason they stopped Rock Am Ring was because if suicide bombers had targeted the Rammstein gig everyone would have just thought it was part of the stageshow.
(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 22:05, archived)

Welcome to Britain’s Got Terror! WOW do we have a show for you! SHRIEK with amazement as random targets are attacked with no warning! SHIVER with guilt about the small part of you checking twitter and secretly finding it all a bit exciting! TRY not to DIE UNEXPECTEDLY on your night out on the town! Roll up! Roll up! Blow up! Fucking get down, shut up and light a candle in the wind! GASP at the hypocrisy of politicians who declare that enough’s enough now, when they’ve been in charge of stopping this kind of stuff for the last six years! REEL at hypocrisy that’s not merely breathtaking, it’s total-removal-of-all-the-oxygen-in-the-area, creating conditions for a backdraft when somebody inevitably breaks a window just to throw themselves out of it! GAPE when you realise they know when they say that kind of thing that people won’t notice or care! And they’re absofuckinglutely spot-on right! UPDATE your profile because that’s how to join in, punters, get a nice flag up there to show you care, because love totally overcomes hate, every time, and especially when it’s got guns! Choose life! Choose the same fucking shit all over again because thanks to google everybody’s got the memory of a goldfish with Alzheimer’s now and can’t remember whatever the fuck set this all off in the first place! Phone lines will close next Thursday at ten, so get voting! Come on proles, vote! Vote! Vote! Premium rates may apply depending on the network you’re with, but no worries because the candidates won’t be declaring the true costs until they’re charged in eighteen months time! So get voting! Come on! Pick a side! Pick a fucking SIDE!
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 0:18, archived)
oh vlad
i wish you were here during the busy times
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 9:23, archived)
He's Putin in an effort
/coat
(, Mon 5 Jun 2017, 15:45, archived)
afternoon

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 13:49, archived)
good afternoon

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 13:55, archived)
cheers

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 15:42, archived)
happy birthday Angelina Jolie

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 16:00, archived)
thanks m8e

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 18:30, archived)
alright

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 14:05, archived)
#halfleft

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 15:48, archived)
That's what terrorist say , k reporting this to the plods

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 15:57, archived)
entrapment!

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 18:31, archived)
Hullo

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 14:18, archived)
haha 'hull'. like they say on /board

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 15:49, archived)
hahaha fucklift

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 16:02, archived)
he'

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 14:34, archived)
umm, i think you mean xe'

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 18:28, archived)
Hello
Bought a new loo seat.
(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 14:36, archived)
reinforced?

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 18:34, archived)
almost evening

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 16:05, archived)
Ok, third time I've tried to post in this thread
Anybody else having problems?
(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 16:05, archived)
Yer, server is on a go slow

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 16:17, archived)
Someòne forgot to feed the hamster hahahahah

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 16:24, archived)
Woah, where did that accent come from??

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 16:35, archived)
^had a minor stroke

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 17:47, archived)
Nonce

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 18:10, archived)
i ticked the 'no two hats' box when posting
not sure how you got around it tbh. the security here is top-notch
(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 18:24, archived)
Rude

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 18:50, archived)
missed opportunity
frinkiac.com/video/S06E12/zBXj6ml6lr6rONN0_EA_WIN2-TU=.gif (22 years)
(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 21:11, archived)
Shit's going down on London Bridge
FFS
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:08, archived)
yeah i noticed,
two shits gone down in the run up to the election, someone's getting desperate
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:11, archived)
Strengthen my hand to send the buggers back

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:16, archived)
well if there's one thing Jeremy Corbyn's done lately,
it's remind people it's not just Muslims that do a terrorism
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:27, archived)
I hate those cunts! I'm sick of this bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:47, archived)
alright 'facebook'

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:54, archived)
whatever

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:58, archived)
Wait, are you saying these are false flag attacks by the Tory lot?
Because that is bonkers
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:38, archived)
no
i think it's a strategy by the Terrorist type of person to make everything worse for everybody
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:40, archived)
Ok. There are some corners of the internet that are saying that it's May. I'm glad you're not quite that mad.

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:43, archived)
no but she will probably try to spin it in her favour,
and it will probably backfire
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:45, archived)
Well, every time she gets on TV she seems to make it worse for herself. Which is good I guess.

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:55, archived)
and
exactly that just happened
(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 18:49, archived)
What sort of weirdo still uses the Julian calendar?

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 9:09, archived)
:)

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 10:35, archived)
Stay strong Great Britain

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 23:25, archived)
My thoughts are with the fallen on London Bridge

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 9:17, archived)
But not your prayers? You're worse than Hitler

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 13:27, archived)
The more I see of these 'terrorists'
the less I like them.
(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 9:52, archived)
Looks like they got the date of the /board b4$h wrong

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 10:37, archived)
Trufax or gake: xtreme

(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 10:52, archived)

tangledupinblue marked himself as safe during The Attack in London, United Kingdom.
(, Sun 4 Jun 2017, 11:35, archived)
Saturday night I
Feel the air is getting hot
Danish Eurodance
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 21:23, archived)
Saturday Night by whigfield is just Spanish Bombs by the Clash, just sayin

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 22:44, archived)
I would like to give lots of money to charity

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 20:45, archived)
Get help.

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 21:09, archived)
HEY LOOK AT ME!!
Listen I think my question was fucking very very very fucking good.

In the same way Celtic are a VERY VERY VERY good Scottish team.

You guys you guys.

You should create an account on that PoF thing I have been chatting up loads of fatties with display picture of a bearded ugly wanker in a depeche mode t shir...oh no that's me.

BUT I did almost sell my mx5 to a guy who instead of cash offered me half ounce of cocaine, who I then called a dickhead and his son tried to drive over me in the road.


Alt: alright? We all putting bets on Juventus? 3-1 you read it here first
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 14:57, archived)
Genuinely thought I was posing a tweet

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 14:57, archived)
so you already took all the cocaine then

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:01, archived)
Alright MGT you horrible fishwife
No I haven't - I would have done. If it wasn't

A. None existent
2. In their car
D. Benzocaine
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:05, archived)
i'm pretty sure cocaine exists

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:08, archived)
No cocaines are red

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:12, archived)
You really are fucking stupid aren't you dribble

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:15, archived)
That will be the mushrooms talking

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:26, archived)
wibble

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 16:46, archived)
Go to bed m8

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:26, archived)
Is this the real spanf?

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:55, archived)
kill yourself

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 16:43, archived)
Go fuck yourself
You are less entertaining than Ken Dodd. And I am. Scouser
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 17:34, archived)
I don't know who you are, soz

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 19:06, archived)
it's only a matter of time

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 18:13, archived)
Alright sponsfloms
In the juicer after a 15 mile hike
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 16:51, archived)
probs would have taken the coke tbh
Would have thought an MX5 would be easy to sell at this time of year
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 20:13, archived)
It is.

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 20:44, archived)
Hello nudist's
How's it going? Might have a bbq on the roof terrace. Might not.
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 13:30, archived)
Just got back from my colour run and my thighs hate me.
This is what happens when you decide to do a 5K 48 hours before the race starts.
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 13:42, archived)
not bad, not bad
scored some free shoes and now i'm having lunch.
how about you, you sleeping any better?
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 14:13, archived)
Not really unfortunately
Free shoes sound good
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:20, archived)
Pub time innit

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 14:28, archived)
Yep

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:20, archived)
I'm doing a bbq
Not on the roof though
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 14:34, archived)
I've got bits for jerk chicken and the rest of my weekly shop but have stop
stopped for a pint on the way back. You can refreeze prawns yeah?
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 14:51, archived)
Someone's having prawns for tea

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 14:59, archived)
They were still squidgy-frozen when I got home. Sorted.

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 18:05, archived)
if they were bought frozen
you can defrost and refreeze them once, but after that, i wouldn't chance it.
/watched rip off britain :food wednesday
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:08, archived)
Just got back from Bourton-on-the-Water
(a fire in the sky)
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 14:58, archived)
Fire in the sky
What a film.

Man ingests too much lycergic acid dyathamide (?) freaks out
Dreams of killing his wife and kids
Buys a chequered shirt
Makes friends with rednecks
Drives a pickup into the woods
Freaks out and eats a shit load of Crème brûlée
Gets naked
Has a wank at a petrol station
Pretends he was abducted by beings from another planet and the freaks that made the matrix steal the story.

It's a classic tale
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:09, archived)
Fire Wank With Me

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:19, archived)
Is what your ex said when he visited the GUM clinic

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:25, archived)
Model village?

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:21, archived)
Phwoar

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:23, archived)
Cottaging?

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 15:26, archived)
Birdland

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 19:23, archived)

Phwoar
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 20:05, archived)
Is it possible fucking POSSIBLE for a Transexual MILF to exist?
A simple YES or NO will suffice without the need of an elaborate epilogue.

Cheers
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 10:02, archived)
how about a simple "FUCK OFF"?

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 10:03, archived)
Well that works.
And I suppose as a TS Milf yourself you are best positioned to answer this brain teaser with a modicum of experience.
(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 10:04, archived)
FUCK OFF

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 10:12, archived)
Yes

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 10:43, archived)
don't be a prick m8

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 12:10, archived)
Yrs

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 12:50, archived)
pornhub says yes

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 14:06, archived)
morning to all you "weekend warriors"

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 9:00, archived)
morning

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 9:48, archived)
Sorry pal

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 10:02, archived)
morning

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 10:18, archived)
wank wank wank wanky wanky wank wank

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 11:06, archived)
well, you can't argue with the facts

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 11:12, archived)
don't tell me what I can and can't do

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 11:13, archived)
*grabs 2x4 and jumps on old green school bus*

(, Sat 3 Jun 2017, 11:56, archived)
HAVE A NICE WEEKEND LOSERS

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 20:39, archived)
I will, thank you for the sentiment x

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 20:45, archived)
Not caring about life's winners yet again, typical Corbynite

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 20:50, archived)
Some of the records in both record shops here have some sort of indexing sticker on them.
So, right, I go to put on my Street Sounds Electro 10 lp, which has one of them, and notice written on the record label in small writing is 'Northsound Record Library'. Northsound is a radio station here.

Still not sure why a local commercial radio station had premixed electro in their libs though.

#thatsinterestingmick
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 20:53, archived)
Some DJ starts it for their evening set then fucks off down the pub for an hour?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 20:55, archived)
It's only when the pub goes silent, and he's stood at the oche, he realises he forgot to ask someone to turn it over half-way through.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 21:04, archived)
Don't think I've ever been in a pub that has the radio on

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 21:06, archived)
really? never?
My local got sonos and did away with the jukebox. People weren't happy. They've got a jukebox hooked up to it now, but Colin still refuses to come in because he has to ask them to change it over.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 21:10, archived)
Normally football on the telly, post match analysis on the telly, pounding bass from a godawful Club Mix CD circa 1999, or a miserable gloomy silence occasionally punctuated by the infantile squeakings from a table of twat students

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 21:17, archived)
go to better pubs
My mate from Dublin says there's one near him that just has only fools and horses DVD's on the big screen and blokes 60+ all sitting drinking guinness in stoic silence.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 21:21, archived)
That sounds excellent
plus, PROPER Guinness
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 21:33, archived)
Sounds like my kind of pub

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 21:53, archived)
"blokes 60+ all sitting drinking guinness in stoic silence."
You can't get a more authentic Irish pub than that.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 22:02, archived)
swap guinness for tennents/mcewans and you're in scotland.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 23:30, archived)
THANKS VERY MUCH WAZZOCK

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 20:57, archived)
GEEK BEND GLANS!!!!!
?
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:26, archived)
Thinking about legitimately purchasing, then watching the Lego Batman film
How is YOUR life uninteresting in every conceivable way?
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:27, archived)
I might get Peroni from over the road tonight instead of my normal cobra from Liam at the hotel shop.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:28, archived)
good idea
Either of those beverages are the ice cold solution to a hot summer's eve
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:29, archived)
My youngest son is singing "I eat ham" to the tune of "This Old Man" over and over again
might kill him. Worth it, you reckon?
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:30, archived)
Nah, sounds like a tune m8, get on the phone to one of the lads on radio 1

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:32, archived)
it IS quite catchy

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:34, archived)
Im already whistling it mate.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:35, archived)
Stick a techno beat to it and bung it on YouTube.
You'll make dozens of your English pounds.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:37, archived)
'Grimmy' will defo play it

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:38, archived)
Grimmballs I call him.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:38, archived)
we all do m8

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:39, archived)
I think the last time I listened R1 Dave Pearce was still on there and people with names like 'chicken' and 'wozza' were phoning him up to say they're on the way back from gatecrasher and are still 'having it large' in daventry services.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:40, archived)
he always looks uncool and awkward

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:42, archived)
lol
www.radiorewind.co.uk/images/dave_p1.gif
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:43, archived)
Blimey
and the misfortune to bear a passing resemblance to Jonathon "bush dodger" King
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:45, archived)
he's the bloke who introduces PE on it takes a nation of millions, fact fans.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:46, archived)
still looks like someone who has a PhD in computer science

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:50, archived)
I'm thinking more Applied Mathematics

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:52, archived)
You and me both m8

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:54, archived)
Might email him and see if he'll build me a pizza oven.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 16:10, archived)
He used to wear a red cap.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 16:10, archived)
He sounds like a cunt of the highest order

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:43, archived)
He certainly looks AND talks like one

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:44, archived)
I'm going to get a bottle of rioja I reckon.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:37, archived)
Crienza 'ftw' m8

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:38, archived)
Havent seen it but I've been told by others its really disappoint
Compared to the Minions movie in terms of one joke reeeeaaallly stretched out
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:30, archived)
Ah well
I probably won't be paying full attention anyway. I did see this in Toys R Us the other day though:

www.toysrus.co.uk/toys/lego-batman-movie-batman-dress-up-costume-7-8-years-/TRUP2413740001

Bit weird
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:32, archived)
SLEEK TENDER WANDS

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:27, archived)
don't joke about that

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:30, archived)
Laugh and the world laughs with you
there
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:30, archived)
...No?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:31, archived)
suit yourself

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:32, archived)
yep

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:39, archived)
^tggi

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:41, archived)
that would explain a lot

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 16:18, archived)
Glans wraps geek
Geek cuts bend
Bend blunts glans
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 18:18, archived)
trips

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 18:29, archived)
I don't think this thread can be bettered, tbh

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 20:37, archived)
WEEKEND PLANS!!
Ladypigs birthday, so dinner out tomorrow, punting on sunday. Otherwise a pretty relaxed weekend.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:36, archived)
Please pass on the mcbeefs' birthday wishes to your delightful missus
Not well, so taking it easy here. Out for a curry later, kid 2moz, just chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool, shooting some b-ball outside of the school
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:39, archived)
Sure thing.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:47, archived)
Weekballs and birthballs, I think you mean

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:41, archived)
I do.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:47, archived)
Balls

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:50, archived)
not to mention Sunday's puntballs

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:47, archived)
It says "no punt racing" on the side of the college punt shed.
That's got to be the slowest race ever.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:50, archived)
no m8, that's the Irish

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:55, archived)
no offenceballs

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:56, archived)
None takenballs

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:59, archived)
just fucking shit up

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:46, archived)
Justballs fuckballs shitballs upballs

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:47, archived)
Nothing massive. I was planning on bottling my homebrew but my carbonation drops haven't turned up so I'll have to speak to the local shop to see if they have any.
I've also got the spent bits of my vaporiser water purifying so i'm going to cook them up in coconut oil and put them in gelatin capsules.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:50, archived)
I've got some rhubarb wine that wants racking. Already tastes pretty good, just need to kill th fermentation and let it clear a bit.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:55, archived)
If I get any good at this homebrew malarky I might buy a refillable keg and convert an old fridge into a kegerator.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:04, archived)
I might put a still together.
I won't bother with beer as I can't grow and sort the hops myself so it's not really homebrew, it's just a kit and toy follow the instructions. But wine, cider are fun and I reckon I wouldn't blow mysl3f up with a still.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:07, archived)
Gin, m8 - get to it

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:16, archived)
How about elderberry liqueur?
I've got an elder berry bush in the garden.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:18, archived)
elderballs

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:20, archived)
sounds a mite bent m8

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:01, archived)
Perfect for you then

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:09, archived)
elder lady licker more like

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:03, archived)
I don't get this argument. Lots of large beer makers buy hops from someone else.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:26, archived)
Im not a large brewery am i?
Also, i can't imagine many home brewers just buy raw hops
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:35, archived)
you smell like one lol

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:35, archived)
Lolballs

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:38, archived)
Doing a 5K 'colour run' tomorrow, where the race marshals throw paint bombs at you.
Given that I found out about it only yesterday and have done no formal training, this might come back to bite me.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:52, archived)
Nah, just go with it.
Those paint runs look like fun.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:55, archived)
paintballs

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:56, archived)
Yer, that's what I thought.
They also don't give a toss about the sporting aspect: it's not going to be timed, there's no prize for first place and the website says you can run, walk or dance the course as far as they care.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:59, archived)
So what's the point of the paint bomb part?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:55, archived)
Funballls

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:59, archived)
It's like Holi but with less praying and more running.
There's also going to be a small music festival afterwards featuring "one of France's top DJs".
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:01, archived)
hahahaha

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:02, archived)
actually that's deeply unfair
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBXpg5Ag3to
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:05, archived)
There's some dude called Le Mellotron or something he's quite good.
And that one that did the scratching from the high rise in La Haine.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:12, archived)
Pharcyde were alright and they were French, who was their dj?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:19, archived)
they're not French m8

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:31, archived)
Oh.
Why did I think they were French?
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:36, archived)
I can't help you with this I'm afraid

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:55, archived)
Please

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:09, archived)
Brain tumour?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:20, archived)
genetic pre-disposition towards sub-optimal performance?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:27, archived)
I think you're forgetting Bob Sinclar and David Guetta

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:27, archived)

Bob Sir Clive
Guetta Essex
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:29, archived)
I think you're insulting Sir Clive and David there

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:30, archived)
Rock On

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:31, archived)
Voyage Voyage

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:22, archived)
No m8.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:37, archived)
OUI OUI

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:00, archived)
uh exCUSE me m8, we call this an 'African American Run' nowadays

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:01, archived)
Bit exclusionist there, m8.
Are you saying Black's the only colour or sutin?
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:28, archived)
Coon Chicken Inn

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:29, archived)
I cannot stop laughing at this
imgur.com/MQquokx
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:29, archived)
lol

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:30, archived)
I see you've found that AskReddit thread too.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:37, archived)
some funny stuff there

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:55, archived)
There is indeed.
Luckily my boss's view of me is blocked by the printer so she can't see my silent officelols.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:02, archived)
i read that as silent ocelots

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:33, archived)
Someone's been playing Metal Gear Solid a lot recently.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:37, archived)
not me
i'm more a legend of zelda kinda girl
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:57, archived)

www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-40125181/father-skunk-caused-my-son-to-cut-off-his-penis
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:41, archived)
same here

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:45, archived)
Now there's a confusing headline.
I was imagining a stripy rodent paterfamilias mauling the son to such a point that he had to amputate his manhoodballs.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:53, archived)
That's an episode of Pepe le Pew I don't remember

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:54, archived)
^le pant le poof

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 13:58, archived)
that's the one

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:01, archived)
you'll love this
imgur.com/a/JbZuU
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:13, archived)


(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:15, archived)


(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:20, archived)
Dunno. on earlies on Sunday, might make a quiet weekend of it.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:03, archived)
Bollocks . Get ragged and raise hell.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:13, archived)
I haven't stopped drinking since the Maiden show.
All week I've been pubbing and garden boozing.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:20, archived)
Been the weather for it I guess.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:20, archived)
Yeah. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. Also, the mrs is away with her parents all this and next week.
No disapproving stares when I start drinking as soon as I get out of bed \o/
No disapproval over me getting a full english in the pub \o/
No 'Oh stuj :('es \o/
She does a very effective 'Oh stuj :(' does the mrs.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:43, archived)
Just blayzin it like a BOSS

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:09, archived)
Good.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:13, archived)
Gonna spack like a wack rebarbative mugwump

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:08, archived)
watching cheesy horror films and getting pissed
when not needed for errands and suchlike
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 15:23, archived)
the cool people thread has been contaminated
everybody out

ever been evacuated from anywhere?
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:37, archived)
Not really
Fire alarms don't really count, do they? There was a bomb scare in Alders in Commercial road when I worked in Clintons, but we weren't evacuated.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:41, archived)
i guess we could expand to any particularly interesting fire alarms
i had one in a big multiplex cinema once. we got led out through the twisty staff corridors. that was mildly interesting
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:47, archived)
Have you been to that cinema lately?
Some of the people who work there are....not all there.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:54, archived)
this was in fareham
which one do you mean, port solent? there are people that i worked with there about 15 years ago that are still there, serving popcorn
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:56, archived)
Maybe they're just really passionate about popcorn

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:57, archived)
What's not to be passionate about?
It has, arguably, the highest mark up of any food product in the world
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:57, archived)
for a while, the shops in gunwharf were prohibited from selling butterkist, etc because nobody was buying the obscenely expensive vue popcorn

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:59, archived)
doesn't surprise me

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:00, archived)
haha, I like to say 'cockporn' as a rude spoonerism!!!
When I say 'say' I mean watch
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:29, archived)
haha
that's priceless
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:35, archived)
I amaze myself sometimes!

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:41, archived)
you amaze me constantly

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:44, archived)
Do you want to know another thing I say? This just reminded me -
instead of saying 'amazing', what *I* like to say is 'amazeballs'!
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:47, archived)
haha, is that what they all do these days? They cut words in half and put 'balls' on the end?
So 'staggering' would become 'staggerballs'? Because I like that a lot.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:01, archived)
Yup, great isn't it? In fact it's brilli-balls!

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:07, archived)
and when you say watch, you mean star in?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:38, archived)
yes

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:41, archived)
Ah right
Yeah, port solent. Real knuckle dragging mouth-breathers.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:57, archived)
well, it IS in paulsgrove

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:59, archived)
Yes

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:43, archived)
wow
this sounds exciting
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:46, archived)
There was a house 2 doors down from the pub I ran,
It was a sort of halfway house for youngsters coming out of care or juvenile detention. One of the lads set it on fire and told the poloce he had loads of petrol cans in his room so we were all evacuated for most of the afternoon
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:49, archived)
the little rascal

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:50, archived)
It beat working and having to talk to stinky cid all afternoon.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:51, archived)
the worst day of being evacuated because of some troubled little scrote beats the best day of working
there
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:53, archived)
What.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:55, archived)
I know

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:58, archived)
ur so wise
the only time we ever got sent home from work because of a fire was on the same day that my import copy of smash bros brawl was delivered. coincidence? very much so, yes
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:58, archived)
Also, once i was school and we all had to stand on the field and they wouldn't tell us why.
So we snuck off for a spliff.
Turned out one of the teachers had killed himself.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:50, archived)
wow...I bet that 'harshed your buzz'

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:53, archived)
It's not really something I think we should make jokes about. He was an excellent geography teacher

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:56, archived)
Can't be that clever, he's dead

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:56, archived)
:(

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:57, archived)
don't shoot the messenger, m8

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:02, archived)
or hang him

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:24, archived)
Have I Got Noose For You!
haha callbacks
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:43, archived)
disgusting

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:48, archived)
on school property?
dang. we had a weird graphics teacher who always seemed to be on the verge of jumping out of the window.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:57, archived)
Yeah, hanged himself in his office.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:01, archived)
shit
Do you know who found him? And why he did it?
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:02, archived)
Apparently his wife had left him and his son had died.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:03, archived)
that'll do it

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:04, archived)
B&Q's edgy new campaign

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:27, archived)
my dad used to work for b&q
really makes you think
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:34, archived)
wee & poo more like!

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:39, archived)
it's a bit like that, yeah

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:39, archived)
a man has died ffs

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:42, archived)
Hrs been dead 14 years I think.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:42, archived)
still, 'wee & poo'?
Disrespectful
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:44, archived)
my dad has died???
You could've broken the news a bit more gently, Boyce!
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:44, archived)
soz m8, it's all over what I call 'eff bee', I thought you knew

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:45, archived)
I don't own a facebook :(

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:00, archived)
yeah,
my school got a bomb threat called in once
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:45, archived)
lucky

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:46, archived)
it was actually,
it was during lunch time so we got to have our lunch again for free, and i'd had the foresight to stuff the first lot in my pockets
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:47, archived)
nice work

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:49, archived)

ight to stuff the first lot kin of a shire horse
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:46, archived)
haha, well i don't think anyone expected that!

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:53, archived)
agreed

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:07, archived)
yes

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:46, archived)
look, don't go stinking up another thread

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:00, archived)
Got evacuated from my student dorms for a fire drill at 07:00 on a Saturday once.
Doughnuts were provided as compensation. Bonus points for wearing stupid pyjamas or being evacuated mid-shag.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:46, archived)
Come to mention it, which I do
I don't think I've ever had sex at 7:00 on a saturday morning
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:50, archived)
You're missing out

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:51, archived)
Yeah, on doughnuts, apparently

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:53, archived)
oh, students :(

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:54, archived)
I was in student halls on the 15th floor of a tower block in Birmingham. Some prick set the fire alarm off pretty much every other night.
So we all had to walk down to the car park with most people in their underwear and wait whilst the firemen found the burnt bit of toast or spliff or whatever it was that had set it off.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:59, archived)
the only communal room in my halls was the kitchen and it had a motion activated extractor fan that was really noisy
so people would hoik the fuse out of the wall with a knife whenever socialising in the kitchen so we sometimes had more than one a night
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:03, archived)
I once got shook awake by one of the wardens, got told to give him my id and told to get out.
Then arrived at the refectory and a woman warden then said, "thanks, blame whatever idiot pulled the alarm. Everyone can go apart from *looks at card* Slippery Mick, who thought it'd be a good idea to call me a 'fucking cunt' when I checked his room; he's getting fined £50*".

*I apologised and that didn't happen, but the uni still charged me a tenner. I got on alright with the warden after apologising and buying her a pint.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:00, archived)
I set the alarms off in halls on our first night at 2am.
I didn't mean too, we were hot boxing my room and the glove fell off the smoke alarm.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:02, archived)
What did the wardens have to say? presumably the room stank of weed when they checked it.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:03, archived)
I was given a formal behaviour notice.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:42, archived)
How many of those do you have to recieve before they take further action?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:02, archived)
I dunno m8. I dropped out after 9 months with 3

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:12, archived)
fair enough

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:20, archived)
Hotboxing a room sounds more like informal behaviour if you ask me!!

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:32, archived)
A licky boom

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:35, archived)
I was evacuated from Belgium in 1940
haha, not really!
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:53, archived)
^jew

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:56, archived)
mazel tov m8

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:05, archived)
get on the train

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:21, archived)
'get in the sea' hahahahahha
lolololololololololol
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:25, archived)
bye guy's

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:25, archived)
It's well over Jew

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:27, archived)
oh you wag

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:04, archived)
I evacuated my bowels once

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:16, archived)
just the once?
i suppose if you do things properly the first time, there's no need to do it again
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:19, archived)
exactly

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:21, archived)
Multiple times
Every time some dozy kitchen worked burnt the toast in the college canteen.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:23, archived)
happy International Sex Workers Day!

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 11:26, archived)
eurgh
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-40063510
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:35, archived)
Check this "Tiny House".
youtu.be/74KTOpJXY_o

It's basically a caravan mate.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:48, archived)
FFS
I like the way he thinks we're the ones who've turned North Korea into a closed, suffering and crazy place. Our bad, clearly.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 12:51, archived)
Yeah. Loads of places.
Fire drills, atual fires, exercises, bomb scares, mortarings, rocketings.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 14:00, archived)
cool people thread

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:45, archived)
finally
yo
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:47, archived)
yo

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:47, archived)
just got 105 on the google cricket game so yeah
i definitely belong in this thread
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:28, archived)
Woah. What happened at 100?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:00, archived)
more fireworks
mongy is the one you should ask, he cracked 300
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:01, archived)
Lol , I can do this all day
imgur.com/a/vGLwy
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:02, archived)
see?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:07, archived)
Lols
imgur.com/a/bMpNb
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:20, archived)
i keep wondering if it is possible to hit the scoreboard

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:31, archived)
If I could pause it I'd go for 8008

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:36, archived)
You have to be at least the second coolest person in this thread

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:50, archived)
I don't like to brag, but yeah

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:51, archived)
I considered doing this myself
but then I remembered that I'm not cool :(
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:51, archived)
Your mum thinks you're cool

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:55, archived)
that's what worries me

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:56, archived)
hey, yeah you are

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:56, archived)
Well I do wear a leather jacket and invite teenage boys into public bathrooms
Oh, and I punched a juke box once. Well, it was an iPod, but you get the idea.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:03, archived)
alright spanishfly

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:04, archived)
You're right, I AM lying about my life
yet, at the same time, revealing what a walking tragedy I am
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:08, archived)
Those people in Manchester don't know what real suffering is :(
www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/family-in-swanmore-left-without-broadband-for-weeks-1-7989626
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:56, archived)
not cool

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:56, archived)
I fucking hate people, Dollars
well, not all people. But a lot of people. Those people.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:02, archived)
that's a shame
she nothing but good things to say about you.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:04, archived)
I like "captain Corbyn of the Titanic"
I hope hes one of those weird people who make comedy accounts to post in local newspaper comment sections.
Wait. It's baldmonkey again isn't it.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:05, archived)
He should be on HIGNFY

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:09, archived)
I love it when they get a guest presenter who struggles to read the autocue
their eyes just glaze over
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:11, archived)
i'm not going to hignfy that with a response

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:14, archived)
Look, I didn't type 'Have I Got News For You' (capitals included) because I'm a busy man
I don't have time to type out the entire name of a tv show, especially one like 'Have I Got News For You' because it has a fairly long name. Time is money, manolith, come on.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:22, archived)
that's just what i think every time i see it abbreviated

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:24, archived)
Well, that's because you have no hignfy

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:24, archived)
could probably make a covfefe joke out of this
imagine that
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:28, archived)
I just did
and it was horrible. Erotic, but horrible
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:29, archived)
I bet moisture was involved

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:30, archived)
it's been a pretty humid day

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:02, archived)
you can say that again
it's fucking boiling in here
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:04, archived)
in your pants, you mean?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:08, archived)
in my everywhere m8

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:12, archived)
but what does tottime have to say about it?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:14, archived)
He is currently unavailable for comment

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:20, archived)
What about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:57, archived)
yeah you're cool

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:59, archived)
alright raven

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:15, archived)
I'm hot stuff tho

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:00, archived)
we can make allowances

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:01, archived)
I sure hope noone here thinks he's/she's coolerer than anyone else

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:02, archived)
yeah

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:05, archived)
Gender isn't binary m8

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:07, archived)
01111001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:09, archived)
lol

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:11, archived)
101

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:23, archived)
I keep forgetting that millenials might be on b3ta

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:09, archived)
Peter Noone from Hermans' hermits identifies genderqueer and uses the pronouns he and she interchangeably.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:28, archived)

r l

lol
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:30, archived)
helmit and shelmit

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:42, archived)
Not to worry I am here now

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:12, archived)
I don't know who you are, soz

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:18, archived)
And that my friend is A-OK with me

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:22, archived)
I'll tell you what's cool, my new keyboard
it's like going from a Casio to a Steinway. Exactly the same as the old Dell but it's got some action to it - I'm gonna make sweeeet typings on this baby, oh yeah.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:15, archived)
go easy on it
treat it like your own penis
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:18, archived)
but if a lady in stilettos steps on it, it'll break

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:24, archived)

😬
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:26, archived)
What, invite everyone to come and play with it?
That's for hometime, not worktime...
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:31, archived)
depends where you work

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:31, archived)
Touche

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:47, archived)

T D
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:50, archived)
Cool morning cool

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:28, archived)
cool

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:30, archived)
morning

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:01, archived)
shut up mgt

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:02, archived)
:(

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:09, archived)
good morning

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:06, archived)
oh fuck, nearly missed the cool people thread

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:06, archived)
oh

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:13, archived)
Maybe you could give some advanced warning next time, yeah?

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:22, archived)
it's ok
measures have been taken
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 10:37, archived)
morning

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 6:49, archived)
morning
The dog has eaten my Kinder chocolate, the little shit
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 7:43, archived)
There will be some pretty big shits later

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 7:52, archived)
Don't worry, the chocolate will probably kill it.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:20, archived)
I don't think there's any real chocolate in Kinder tbh

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:48, archived)
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes hello morning hi.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 7:45, archived)
Alright dude
Are you having a breakdown?
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 7:52, archived)
Nah, just being silly.
I've got nothing to do so far this morning.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 7:53, archived)
I am checking out of my hotel and not paying the bill
They asked me to choose my room (well the view I wanted) so they gave me room 363 with a view of the river.

I arrive at the room put my card in the door, it unlocks, I walk in with my headphones in...something seems odd...old lady partly undressed steps out of the bathroom where the shower is on. Needless to say o I am not settling my bill.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 7:55, archived)
I think you've told this story before.

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:09, archived)
Have I? I must have been pissed

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:14, archived)
alright 'delores vickery'

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:18, archived)
alright dribble

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:33, archived)
Alright, Robin Asquith

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:33, archived)
Alright, Jack Torrance

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:47, archived)
Alright $$

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:54, archived)
Is it, though?
I mean, really?
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 7:47, archived)
Well - yes

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 7:53, archived)
Morning all!
Payday today, so I'm in a disgustingly cheerful mood
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 7:48, archived)
For about 3 days

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 7:53, archived)
Try 15 minutes
That's how long it just took me to get through to the doctor's. Of course, now all the appointments have gone.
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:19, archived)
Jesus
the morning thread's been stomped and it's not even 9am!
(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 8:57, archived)
That's because he's a wanker

(, Fri 2 Jun 2017, 9:13, archived)

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