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Tiger Feet is a fucking brilliant record

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:36, archived)
Have you heard PP Arnold's recent release?
It was all recorded years ago but the label folded, Barry Gibb produced a lot of it. It's ace
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:39, archived)
No

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:40, archived)
Well perhaps you fucking should.

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:51, archived)
Should've used thicker card for the label then, the fucking spastics.

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 19:08, archived)
Tiger feet is shit, but as a counter point rod Stewart did do some good work with the faces

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:40, archived)
The Faeces, more like!

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:40, archived)
That's neat that's neat that's neat that's
fucking shit
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:50, archived)

Lol
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:51, archived)
+so wow
+a
+o
what now right
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 19:09, archived)
Squeeze kicked the knackers out of mud, hth

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:53, archived)
m'alright

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 19:59, archived)
no m8

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 20:23, archived)
Is it? You might also like this new band I've heard of the kinks they call themselves, 2 brothers, check them out honestly

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 20:25, archived)
Man, I can't wait for you to tell us about this other new record called Misteltoe And Wine.

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 20:41, archived)
Pushing that lolwakishit shit down the page.
Alright.
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:03, archived)
Alright Mr.Tea

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:06, archived)

Alright Rich.
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 19:07, archived)
I thought that sort of waki shit had died out in the previous decade

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:30, archived)
mornimg

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 6:49, archived)
That's what *she* said.
Morning.
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 6:52, archived)
Alright

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 7:33, archived)
czesc grrrry

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 7:54, archived)
siema

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 8:11, archived)
Tiger Feet is a fucking brilliant record

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 18:30, archived)
I have not slept well.

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 8:48, archived)
Fake news, people, fake news

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 9:47, archived)
Shambolic has forced Grrr's account and he really is dead. Sad!

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 10:13, archived)
Lock up low-energy Crooked Shambles! Make b3ta great again

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 10:18, archived)

ac

o
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 10:19, archived)
Alright, my lads smashed his phone so I suppose I've got to buy another

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 10:13, archived)

Get him one of these.
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 10:17, archived)
I'll see what the sales monkeys try and sell me in O2

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 10:34, archived)
I'm cooking a bacon and black pudding sandwich and listening to Bill Withers, all good here cheif.

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 11:48, archived)
Dropped me clothes off at the laundrette, hauin a pint.

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 13:29, archived)
This place has good beer, does fry-ups and just played sly stone and Curtis Mayfield.
Someone's bought a red setter in.
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 14:43, archived)
Earlier I watched a video a mate posted on Facebook about the correct way to eat sushi
and now I want sushi.
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 15:17, archived)
I don't really see the fuss.
If you put it in front of me I'll eat it but I'd not actively go for it.
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 15:21, archived)
It's not something I usually crave.
It's probably just because I haven't had it for a while.
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 15:36, archived)
Fair. I craved a box of miniature pasties recently but it seems tescos don't do them these days, probably for the best.

(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 15:45, archived)
Now thst we've found each other, what are we going to do?
youtu.be/NNEgUPKxk7A

Heavy-d And the boyz have a few suggestions. What are you going to suggest?
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:01, archived)
flogging it off to the highest bidder

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:03, archived)
IBYA
YDOB
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 21:47, archived)
Had a drink in a crowded pub, now mooching aimlessly around Brum.
Can mcbeef meet me here, then accompany me home on the train? If I stay sober, I can get him to the L&D before midnight.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:07, archived)
Cool

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:20, archived)
Sorry, got myself slightly tipsy on Timothy Taylor's and Kraken rum.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:54, archived)
Usually drink, usually dance, usually bubble

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:08, archived)
Might go for a plop

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:14, archived)
figgy puddi

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:18, archived)
Giga figga puddi

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:30, archived)
^to the theme of 'chucklevision'

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 19:08, archived)
turtle power

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 19:13, archived)
dunno

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:19, archived)
the nursery just called and said my kid's throwing up
good to hear she's started the weekend early, the little trooper
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:44, archived)
Tactical puke before getting back on it, nice one

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:51, archived)
this is the natural result of an anglosaxon-slav hybrid

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:55, archived)
I like the squating Slavs FB page, some is completely lost on me tho

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:09, archived)
Welcome back you big curmudgeon.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 17:54, archived)
gay

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 17:59, archived)
I'd have said hello earlier but I'm 3 Fridays into a new job and haven't logged into my recreational sites yet.
I created a new chrome profile and everything.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 18:19, archived)
get her a kebab, job's a good 'un

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:20, archived)
Slrry, I just sort of fucked off home after posting this.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:58, archived)
3pm?! part timer

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:58, archived)
Showered, changed and down the local by 4.
Just waiting for Sheepy and Digger. And Dan.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:01, archived)
Dan's not going until later
he's got to nip across town first
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:02, archived)
The cunt

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:03, archived)
Sheepy and Digger?
Who are you, Bob the fucking Builder?
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:10, archived)
just a man blowing the froth off a few after a hard day's work

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:19, archived)
Sheepy is called that because he's Welsh.
Digger is called that because 4 times in a row he dug the speed humps up outside his house because it was causing too much noise.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:58, archived)
Jesus

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 17:54, archived)
A lass I knew was going out with a glaswegian manager of a shit 'meatmarket' nightclub called Digger.
whataprick.net
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 17:57, archived)
I don't see how you could just walk away from the board like that

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:59, archived)
Beer o'clock

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:02, archived)
easy group for the world cup

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:59, archived)
we'll fuck it up anyway

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:59, archived)
Bit awks after the Panama papers thing.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:03, archived)
I expect Joe Hart to let a few in out of sympathy

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:05, archived)
GS

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:30, archived)
2 draws and a win will see us through to being knocked out in round 2, woohoo

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:11, archived)
I hope we see some Russian hooliganism as well

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:17, archived)
When you operate as roving 8 man squads, not drinking and systematically fighting is it traditional violence?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:34, archived)
no
you need the pre-match pub warm up then the post-match piss up. It's tradition.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 16:36, archived)
He'vening all.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A partridge in a Grrry.

Welcome back, mate.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 18:04, archived)
Get a Grrrroom

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 18:30, archived)
They've got the Grrrrow-how.
What?
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 18:52, archived)
no homo

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 18:30, archived)
*exaggeratedly manly and elaborate handshake*

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 18:31, archived)
Hi, guys!

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:39, archived)
hi m8

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:40, archived)
monster munch is going to pick you up from the station

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:41, archived)
yessss

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:49, archived)
monster munch is going to lick you up from the station

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:43, archived)
sweeeet

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:50, archived)
monster munch is going to dick you up from the station

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:48, archived)
niiice

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:50, archived)
monster munch is going to prick you up the bum bum

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:55, archived)
ewwwww

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:57, archived)
I'm inforrrrming
ya no say daddy monster munch go playing
he pick you up from brum brum now
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:03, archived)
*licks bum-bum*

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:35, archived)
that saves me the effort of wiping

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:05, archived)
Hiya

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:42, archived)
hey

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:43, archived)
are there any lady boarders left?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:43, archived)
just this one
*points at crotch*
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:44, archived)
it's like a camel's toe that's been stung by a hundred hornets

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:48, archived)
and smells like it too

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:04, archived)
define "lady"

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:37, archived)
not you

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:46, archived)
ah. as you were.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:01, archived)
Oh hey, I didn't see you there

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:45, archived)
When you close your doors, and make darkness within, remember never to say that you are alone, for you are not alone; nay, God is within, and your genius is within. And what need have they of light to see what you are doing?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:46, archived)
Those who have virtue always in their mouths, and neglect it in practice, are like a harp, which emits a sound pleasing to others, while itself is insensible of the music.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:47, archived)
good point

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:48, archived)
Alright

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:46, archived)
amen

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:49, archived)
Praise be to Allah

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:57, archived)
Hi.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:59, archived)
hey there

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:03, archived)
Might go for a beer in a bit.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
might have a turbo shandy

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
I've just had one, it was nice

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:21, archived)
hello!

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:20, archived)

hello! +hello!
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:21, archived)
hiya

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:26, archived)
alright

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:29, archived)

🎅🎅🎅
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:29, archived)

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:32, archived)

🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:34, archived)
The Reindeer Centipede

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:41, archived)

🕎✡🕎✡🕎✡🕎✡🕎✡🕎✡🕎✡🕎✡🕎✡🕎✡🕎✡🕎
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:37, archived)
no Kwanzaa emoji ;(

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:41, archived)
hardly surprising
the whole telecommunications industry is institutionally racist
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:45, archived)
BT stands for Black Tyranny

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:50, archived)
Festivus Pole?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:50, archived)
put it away before that nice lady from HR sees it

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:02, archived)
Calling her 'nice' technically counts as harrassment

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:03, archived)
ok, that female person of indeterminate personality

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:04, archived)

🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:43, archived)

🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:44, archived)

🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:57, archived)

⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️ ⛄️
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:04, archived)
give it a week or so and i'll get the christmas icons turned on
that'll be nice for everyone
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:17, archived)

🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚🔔🔚
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 22:01, archived)
gimme a chance, i haven't even lit it yet!

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:34, archived)
oh

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 14:39, archived)
Damian Green's spunky bin Your Score 10/10

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:25, archived)
2/7 :(

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:25, archived)
9.75/0.6666667

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:28, archived)
5*

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:31, archived)
"Black Cock Cumshots"
Your Score: 3/7
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:34, archived)
2

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:35, archived)
40

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:38, archived)
+oz bounce

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:39, archived)
you know it

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:55, archived)
14 awg

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:38, archived)
when did you switch to dopey Yank sizing?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:39, archived)
Makes me feel exotic

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:51, archived)
I'm out of the loop here
do we just do a crude swear and type a number, like some pathetic clone of Peep Show?
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:38, archived)
It's Robs swear clock off Twitter combined with BBC Friday quiz scores.
R.I.P Doveston
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:44, archived)
Rob wrote a swear clock?
that's tragic
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:45, archived)
BING BONG DOG'S COCKS, IT'S TIME TO GIVE UP ON LIFE

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:46, archived)

i.imgur.com/lIJJCQ5.jpg
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:48, archived)
You've got it

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:49, archived)
:((((((
twitter.com/swearclock?lang=en
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:09, archived)
that looks right up your street

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:12, archived)
I write all the content, rob just posts it

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:35, archived)
99 red bollocks

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:45, archived)
That's numberwang!

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:49, archived)
0.4 the best of all the albedos

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:39, archived)
I see you'll be down my way, later.
If it's any comfort, the L&D is one of the regions better hospitals, although the parking is crap.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:48, archived)
I'm coming by train
I'll need a cab from the station, right?
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:08, archived)
I think monster munch should pick you up and drop you off

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:12, archived)

you could strikethough "drop" and replace it with all sorts of naughty words
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:13, archived)
I think monster munch should pick you up and spin you round

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:13, archived)
I think monster munch shouod pick you up and turn you over to the authorities

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:16, archived)
Luton rail station is very well served by buses,
otherwise yes, cab, unless you fancy a bit of a walk.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:17, archived)
give him a lift

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:19, archived)
gay sex

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:19, archived)
I'd have to put plastic coverings over the car seats.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:21, archived)
gay sex

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:22, archived)
I think monster munch is in Birmingham.
Luton rail station is very well served by buses, otherwise yes, cab, unless you fancy a bit of a walk.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:20, archived)
Since when does the Edit button create a duplicate post?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:21, archived)
Since mmmnnnneeeurgh mmmmnnnnnnneeeugh

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:23, archived)
cr3's fault.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:31, archived)
leave now and you'll be able to pick him up

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:27, archived)

you'll be able to pick him up never return
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:33, archived)
suicide? nice

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:38, archived)
Shixty shix pershent, eh?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 13:33, archived)
Ok, enough of that.
We're all excited that grrry is not dead. But what else are we excited about?
I'm off to look at another motorbike tomorrow.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:05, archived)
is it a motorbike that actually runs
or another pile of slavic rust?
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:06, archived)
It is a runner, the Slavic pile of rust is for sale.
Do you want it.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:10, archived)
I've already owned enough of that bike at various times already
no thanks
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:11, archived)
I emailed the owners club, see if they would put an advert in the newsletter.
They wanted to come and assess it.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
they want first refusal

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:21, archived)

and in my ess it
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:04, archived)
I've booked the days between christmas and new years off for the first time in ever
I'm looking forward to it even though I have no plans whatsoever.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:07, archived)
I've only had to work that period once
most places I've worked for have shut during that time
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:09, archived)
last few years everyone else in my project took those days off
so I claimed the hours on my timesheet while playing transport tycoon all day.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:10, archived)
In my old tv scheduling gig, there would be essentially 3 months of hard graft to get stuff sorted for christmas
And then anyone who was on sub 25k had to schlep in with transmission staff to make sure it actually plays out. Don't miss that. At. All.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:19, archived)
We have a shut down,
I plan nothing in and enjoy a few days of loafing around.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:11, archived)
every year my bosses talk about the possiblity of staying open over christmas but it's never going to happen and if it does I'll book the days off anyway

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
Yeah, ladypigs work stays open,
They all do 1 day each, last year, over an 8 hour shift they had 2 calls. I don't think many people would be upset to be told by an answerphone that they were closed for christmas
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:15, archived)
How is LP?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:47, archived)
Much better thanks.
Back to work on reduced hours. The scans came back with no new damage to the brain, they just think because of the calcification from birth her brain just can't recover as fast.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:03, archived)
Try to stop her thinking too much
so as not to wear her brain out. Stick to C5 and only allow her to read Take A Break and listen to Heart FM.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:34, archived)
Are you looking forward to your Salt Christmas carp with all the trimmings (cabbage)?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:03, archived)
just life in general

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:09, archived)
alright des'ree

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:11, archived)
I'm living a lie

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:13, archived)
The second coming of our lord, Jesus Christ
and PSVR
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:10, archived)
I have a mate that works on some VR games.
He reckons they're all a shit fad.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:11, archived)
I've narrated tutorials for them
They definitely are.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:18, archived)
does he

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:23, archived)
They can't seem to get people beyond about 45 minutes without motion sickness kicking in for any decent games.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:27, archived)
well that makes sense

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:28, archived)
VR will be a damper squib than 3D TV.
I don't reckon 4K TV will live up to the hype, either.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:52, archived)
think of the porn! cor!

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:12, archived)
alright Damian Green

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:13, archived)
I bet he's into foot porn

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:13, archived)
IT WAS NOTHING ILLEGAL AND ANYWAY I DIDN'T EVEN DO IT

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
Nonce!

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:44, archived)
you getting one for chrimblepops then?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:15, archived)
No
maybe around bonus time, but we'll see
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:23, archived)
I've just bought a big house, which might have put the kibosh on any big purchases for a while

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:23, archived)
what colour is the bath?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:27, archived)
white, baby
white
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:35, archived)
I miss the days of going for a wee in someone else's house
and being greeted by some aubergine or avocado-coloured abomination.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:40, archived)
Yeah, the bathroom suite in our current place was avacado when we moved in
The master bedroom in the new place has an en suite, dontchaknow. We're 'en suite' people now.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:44, archived)
you're hampshire royalty now

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:46, archived)
Heavy is the head that wears the crown

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:46, archived)
You're just down the road from me.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:52, archived)
oh yeah?
where are you?
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:56, archived)
probably just up the road from you

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:02, archived)
wow, that's pretty close

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:05, archived)
Winchfield.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:09, archived)
"Saturday Night" was a banger back in the day, to be fair

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:22, archived)
heh

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:22, archived)
piss and shit where you sleep
nice
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:28, archived)
Well the toilet isn't literally in the bedroom
I think it'll be ok
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:36, archived)
I know
but you don't want to hear someone shit while you lay in bed
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:48, archived)
Well, quite

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:49, archived)
yes I do

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:23, archived)
good point
you'll have toilet roll holders and the like to buy
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:35, archived)
We had to go through the list of things that we're leaving behind, last night
I'm going to ask if they want Small's highriser bed, because dismantling that fucker is going to be a pain in the arse.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:37, archived)
yeah
the previous owner left quite a nice bedframe in my attic room because it would have been too hard to get out
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:35, archived)
world aids day is always an exciting event

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:12, archived)
are you positive about that? lol

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
lol i get this
not aids I mean, I'm not a gay or an intravenous drug user
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:15, archived)
Finally, someone is sticking up for AIDS
It's had a lot of bad press, so good for them.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:26, archived)
Royal wedding!
Squeeeeeee!
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:13, archived)
omg! omg! omg! omg!

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
I NO :) I NO :) I NO :)

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:18, archived)
i'm totes buying a new hat

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:20, archived)
Can you get hats big enough for your big stupid head?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:21, archived)
yes
in as much as anything you wear on your head could technically be called a hat
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:36, archived)
We better get a day off
He isn't a stick-in-the-attic-eating-fisheads type so we deserve 24 hours off to do something out of the house away from the pomopsity of it all
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:23, archived)
night out on the town
throwing a few shapes
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:25, archived)
Nothin'
Cos I'm cool
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:21, archived)
I'm thinking of buying this today , I like the micro gas tubes, little xmas gift to myself
www.exquisitetimepieces.com/pub/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/beff4985b56e3afdbeabfc89641a4582/n/m/nm2028c-l4cj-bk_night-1.jpg
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:25, archived)
NSFW
don't want to see a pic of your balls at work m8
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:27, archived)
But look at them glow

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:28, archived)
if your balls glow in the dark
Chernobyl fall off.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:33, archived)
The phrase 'on the ball' comes from these watches, how interesting mongy

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:57, archived)
I assumed it was a sport phrase tbh

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:24, archived)
Train crash in the USA, Ball (the man)was instructed to sort out railway timings

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:27, archived)
sounds like a load of ballocks

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:30, archived)

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/BALL_Watch_Company
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:40, archived)
Horsefly-tipping! LOL!
Actually, this isn't funny

www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/people/warning-graphic-image-dead-horse-dumped-by-low-life-scum-on-public-footpath-in-swanwick-1-8269841
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:45, archived)
If Windy tells me that he's not responsible for this, I'll believe him
because I trust him
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:46, archived)
I eat them

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:58, archived)
If you don't eat it, it's murder

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:01, archived)
Pretty sure horses are biodegradable.
Don't see what this fuss is.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:54, archived)
Oh man I'm going to Luton and Dunstable hospital later, it's gonna be amazing!
Or, as my brother describes it 'like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:02, archived)
lol

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:06, archived)
Lol. But also not lol.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:39, archived)
I'm most excited about the bbc 7 days quiz thread which should be along any minute now

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 11:59, archived)
I'm in Brum for my wife to pick up her diploma.
There's lunch, I suppose I could get excited by the prospect of food.
Found out that this qualification means she now earns more than me. I might retire.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:25, archived)
my wife and I are on parallel career paths at this point
Who outearns who is almost a game now
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 12:28, archived)
morning

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 5:43, archived)
Morning!

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 6:50, archived)
bit enthusiastic

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:00, archived)
morning

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 6:57, archived)
word

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:00, archived)
Alright

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 6:58, archived)
yer you?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:01, archived)
Sweet as

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:07, archived)
safe

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:08, archived)
Your kid excited for Xmas or still too young?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:09, archived)
too young still
it might cotton on though once the tree goes up
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:21, archived)
My two are just looking forward to being off school and staying in bed, proper teenagers

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:29, archived)
have they asked santa for Xmas watches?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:33, archived)
It's all cash these days

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:37, archived)
millennials have killed christmas

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:42, archived)
Good.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:58, archived)

Hiya
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:04, archived)
token reply

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:07, archived)
Oh. You're still alive then?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:09, archived)
^ dr of the year

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:10, archived)
you seem surprised

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:20, archived)
I was going for indifferent.
Wife spent last weekend test driving audi q5s and landrover discovery sports and then went and bought a BMW X1 xDrive 20d M Sport.
Apparently the puddle lights swung it.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:57, archived)
You are the target market for that sort of chariot
A beefed up 1-series with less interior space, the same frugality as a Prius but with more expensive repair costs, and all the chunky sporty add-ons despite the thing being more fragile than a drama student's ego.

What was the damage? About 32k?
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:01, archived)
Classic grrr

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:04, archived)
If someone wants a chunky crossover for their burgeoning family, they get a Nissan and that's the end of it
all the others are overpriced trinkets with dramatic service costs that usually have more cramped interiors than the saloons they're based on, and the X1 is no different. No way 2Can's going to get two prams in the boot of that.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:07, archived)
The x-trail?
It's fuck ugly though.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:10, archived)
nah, I meant the Qashqai
but it seems the new ones top out at a feeble 1.6 instead of a turbocharged 2 litre
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:14, archived)
It's all euro 5 emissions nonsense.
All the new Chinese pick ups are coming over with shit 2litre diesel, but in Aus are getting much bigger better engines
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:35, archived)
I expect it's diesel's last hurrah before the EU makes them completely illegal
Aren't the Chinese ones still some old Rover K-series design?
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:45, archived)
Yeah.
The new Great Wall has got something better apparently, one of the chefs here has got one. They don't seem too bad, except all the metal work like tow bars and caliper is just rotting away.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:00, archived)

finess koalaty
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:02, archived)
Second hand for 27 (done 10,000 miles) but they gave me 1300 for my 10 year old wreck of an e90.
Didn't think it was too bad from a BMW dealer.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:07, archived)
1300 trade in isn't bad for an E90
horrendous turds that they are. Smart move to get a used one that someone else already took the hit on too. How much warranty have the dealership given you?
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:09, archived)
Dunno TBH, my wife's dealt with it. It's less than a year old so it will still have a minimum of another 2 years anyway.

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:15, archived)
good to hear
I just did some googling and they've replaced the horrendous old N20 engine with some modular lump called a B38, so hopefully you won't have all the drama that earlier X1 diesels had.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:26, archived)
Yeah anything after 2015 is supposed to be fine. Also they put the engine in a different way round which gives more leg room or something.
I dunno, it's my wife's car now anyway and I've got her 2012 automatic golf TDI, which is fine because I no longer care about cars or having fun.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:36, archived)
K just realised you have no idea what you're talking about, a 5 second google reveals that the B38 is a 1.5 petrol engine and the B47 is the 20d one.
Which sounds excellent as it is clearly 9 better.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:13, archived)
it's all the same modular bollocks
design it on a cylinder basis, not the whole block, then chop it up into 3-, 4- or 6-cylinder versions as needed.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:15, archived)
Buy a Lexus RX

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:06, archived)
Another one, I've bought 5 since you started this

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:23, archived)
nice

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:25, archived)
And I thought I was out early.
Good to see the return of the OG morning thread (RIP The Doveston).
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:10, archived)
I don't think I've ever been referred to as OG

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:20, archived)
Straight Outta [your hometown]

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:26, archived)
Ornery Gaylord?
You fucking have m8
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:18, archived)
I take objection at ornery

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:27, archived)
it's precisely this sort of cyberbullying that caused poor grrry to flounce in the first place

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:55, archived)
oh shit did I flounce?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:04, archived)
I'm afraid so, thanks to the relentless bullying of the moderator, who is supposed to protect vulnerable board members like you
but it's ok, he's left forever now too
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:19, archived)
I'm glad to hear someone cobbled up a backstory for me
It's easier than fluffing up my own tall tale.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:21, archived)
You were in jail

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:29, archived)
Pawnshop basement

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:35, archived)
Morning

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:17, archived)
yes it is

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:20, archived)
Alright grrr.
I've got some great car/bike chat to catch you up on.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:28, archived)
wicked, a good start to December

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:32, archived)
Pinch punch first of the month

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:36, archived)
fuck this, I'm out

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 7:38, archived)
hi

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:06, archived)
dollar dollar bill y'all

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:15, archived)
morning

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:07, archived)
[ extended ascii mashup of your name ]

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:15, archived)
Well look what a polish cat dragged in
Alright?
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:14, archived)
alright two hats

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:15, archived)
you can't polish a cat
but you can roll it in turds
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:53, archived)
Morning Grrry

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:42, archived)
alright gary
How's the [whatever you were moaning about last time we spoke]?
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:45, archived)
I won my court case
(seriously, I took the fuckers to the small claims and they paid up)

I'm in a nice office with good people and I had a lovely breakfast. It's all good.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:14, archived)
what did you do with the payout?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:15, archived)
Just waiting for the cheque to clear
then we're going to redo the old bathroom. New bath/shower, floor and ceiling tiles. We'll take the plasterboard off and tank it before installing the new suite.

Planning to get one tile etched with "This bathroom was begrudgingly paid for by South London Lofts, part of Build London plc"
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:43, archived)
thrilling stuff

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:05, archived)
You did ask...

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:37, archived)
did you go away to procreate again?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:52, archived)
He's had a few million knuckle kids, if that's what you mean

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:57, archived)
disgusting

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 8:59, archived)
You know when people say 'spastic'? You know what I say?
I says 'SPAZ-DICK'! Then it's like two insults in one! lol
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:01, archived)
lol

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:02, archived)
it's more like amateurcreate when I do it

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:00, archived)
You were missed

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:12, archived)
yeah, I expect you lot had all sorts of trouble starting a new thread each morning

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:14, archived)
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:40, archived)
I'll always have the key to your heart

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:44, archived)
What lego you recently bought?

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:50, archived)
Millenium Falcon zł6,999

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:55, archived)
Was in the Lego shop last night
They are selling well even though it is £650, they had sold out of stock and it was a weeks wait minimum

Edit: Just seen it comes with two porgs!
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 9:58, archived)
I hope they are enjoying their new status as "maker of toys bought almost exclusively by middle aged men"

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:04, archived)
I tracked down a few old 9V Technic motors and some new PF ones
so now all my Lego train track points are motorized for automation. I can run 12 off one arduino.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 10:06, archived)
m'alright

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 23:30, archived)
m'bop

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 23:48, archived)
Did you know nearly all of Gary Glitter's songs were written in the same key?
I guess he's always most comfortable in A minor.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 20:45, archived)
TIMELY

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:12, archived)
Edgy.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:21, archived)
Both of those things.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:24, archived)
Did you know Meghan Markle has chosen the material for her wedding dress?
She picked cotton.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:21, archived)
Dunno what everyone is getting so worked up about, she's not THAT black

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:25, archived)
She ent even that fit

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:28, archived)
I've been knocked back by worse.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:29, archived)
I'm very good looking though.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:30, archived)
Certainly no Middleton

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:29, archived)
Pippa's arse.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:31, archived)
Prince Philip plays Jim Royle

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:34, archived)
I liked it when the Daily Mash called her 'buttock host organism Pippa Middleton'.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 22:16, archived)
The daily mash is lol comedy for spastics

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 22:57, archived)
Sounds right up your street.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 23:22, archived)

KAPOW!
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 23:23, archived)
I no u r but wat am i

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 23:49, archived)
Dunno, a prick with a lolwaki name by the look of it.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 23:54, archived)
They did an article about my local supermarket! *prouds*
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/royal-wedding-is-fantastic-news-says-everyone-in-cheltenham-branch-of-waitrose-20171128139908
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 0:07, archived)
I just worry if the baby's quite brown Harry might have a PTSD episode and try to shoot it from a helicopter.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:28, archived)
Haha lol edgy!!!!!!

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:30, archived)
look at Frankie Boyle here

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:49, archived)
Funny name for you are penis

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 21:56, archived)
I hope that Paul Worthington kills himself.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 22:56, archived)
RIP Marina Popovich
you flew too close to the sun
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:37, archived)
her name reminds me of some form of fruit and cream-filled pastry

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:40, archived)
popping out for a Popovich

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:40, archived)
dammit, now i want an apple turnover

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:42, archived)
Didn't she believe in UFOs?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:41, archived)
I hope so

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:46, archived)
You looking forward to tomorrow?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 17:10, archived)
oh yeah!

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 17:32, archived)
and that the children are our future

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:48, archived)
What a fucking loonie

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 17:01, archived)
i know

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 17:03, archived)
Oh man I *LOVED* Rentaghost :(

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:53, archived)
you don't have to rent this ghost

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 17:01, archived)
AIDS related?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:56, archived)
Jenkem

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 17:01, archived)
*pours one for the fallen*
*huffs*
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 17:03, archived)
fart one out more like!

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 17:12, archived)
Great timing, my watch made from a soyez capsule was released on 25th, hope she rubbed her fanny on it, cor blimey

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 18:24, archived)


(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 18:43, archived)
It'd be a cool story, but serious collectors are going to want proof of the Danny rub

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 18:57, archived)
Danny rub lol

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 18:58, archived)
As in 'Jack and'

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 18:58, archived)
Hope she stuck her thruppnies on it too

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 19:05, archived)
have a sniff

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 19:17, archived)
It's not here yet, there was a collection do over in the eu, but I hard brexit

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 19:51, archived)
Not posting in Dozer threads.
Somehow I've ended up working outdoors for the last hour or so trying to get some lights working on some scaffolding. Why is your job shit today?
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:14, archived)
Because there's not enough of it, I suppose.
If there were any justice in the world, I'd be firing up Steam now and making some non-empty use of my time. As it is I'm browsing my way through AskReddit.

Have you got your thermal crackers on for that scaffolding work?
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:16, archived)
I bought Cuphead
That is the hardest game I have ever played, there is no mercy for fuckups
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:21, archived)
None whatsoever, it's an utter bastard (but a glorious one).
The sense of achievement when you actually get past a boss or beat a level is correspondingly massive, though. Meanwhile all these twenty-year-olds who vlog about games for a living are posting videos of "Perfect scores on all bosses in Cuphead" and I'm two bosses away from beating Isle One.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:25, archived)
Must have spent at least 3 hours so far trying to beat up two frogs and a bouncing blue bastard
My hand/end co-ordination isn't the greatest at the best of times, so I've essentially bought myself a game that I'll never finish :/
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:29, archived)
Those frogs are cunts; I haven't beaten them yet.
The blue guy took me a while but I got him in the end.

It's funny because the vegetable bosses are a pushover, so you think (ŗ la Bridge of Death) "This is easy!", then you get your arse handed to you by everyone else.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:38, archived)
The frogs are a right prick
Get easily enough to the cash register and then it requires me to jump AND shoot at the same time. Wankers
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:52, archived)
I saw a difficulty curve diagram for it, and some of the later bosses appear to be easier.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:11, archived)
That's mildly reassuring.
I've seen a playthrough of one guy casually getting all the way to the end and making it look like a walk in the park, and some of the later ones do look a little bit more chill.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:16, archived)
It's just boring, that's all
I've got plenty to do, it's just boring and shit and rubbish.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:17, archived)
this^
Today is rather tedious, to say the least. However, tonight I have the joy (!) of doing my Tax Self Assessment return
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:26, archived)
it's not 'lol edgy' enough for my liking

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:19, archived)
My job could stand to be more "rad"
and infinitely more "sorted"
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:22, archived)
or a 'nice one, cunt'

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:27, archived)
Currently finishing off a software testing document
The only thing duller than writing a testing document is actually doing the damn thing. So hats off to the chump who has to work through the 114 page document.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:23, archived)
I am currently testing a new installer script
It really is as boring as it sounds
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:41, archived)
I wish everything was as
Easy to rollout like using Ninite. But it fuckin' ain't, feel ya pain brother
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:51, archived)
The boss keeps touching my willy

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:29, archived)
spunk on his hand

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:38, archived)
Will do

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:51, archived)
My boss has just left for the day
Might go for a pint
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:38, archived)
I don't even have a boss

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:51, archived)

boss +willy
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:52, archived)
True, I lost custody after my divorce

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:00, archived)
all the forklift monkeys are off today for some reason so I had to spend over an hour outside this morning

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:38, archived)
Can you not just use a door?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:40, archived)
Any thick cunt can drive a fork lift.
You should have given it a go.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:49, archived)
what the fuck do you think I was doing outside?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:53, archived)
wanking off longshoremen

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:58, archived)
well yeah

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:08, archived)
Well, if you were in the cab id say you were a bit inside.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:11, archived)
you can say what you like, doesn't make it true

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:30, archived)
the best it's ever been
I'm on holiday
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:59, archived)

'm on holiday +'ve been fired for wanking off a dog
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:01, archived)
I'm not fired 'til proven
just banned from the office kennel
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 19:01, archived)
hey look who it is!

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:05, archived)
it's only bloody Amberl innit

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:08, archived)
mental

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:14, archived)
Alright there
how's things?
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 19:01, archived)
Anywhere nice?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:13, archived)
Chorley

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:38, archived)
No :(
I'm going to have to lie when I go back.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 19:02, archived)
oh

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:16, archived)
I'm exhausted from a week of long days, no breaks and other stress.
All the paperwork seems to be coming together for the house move and tragic prick that I am, I've been cheering myself up with sneaky looks at the spec to remind myself that some good things are happening.

I'm off to the launch of a hipster pool hall and pizzeria after work, where I intend to bankrupt them before they even officially open.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:04, archived)
To be a proper pool hall someone needs their skull bashing in with a cue ball in a sock.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:12, archived)
it would certainly relieve some tension, might give it a go

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:16, archived)
If it's a hipster pool hall, better make it a hand-carved Tibetan spirit ball in a snood.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:41, archived)
Lol

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:57, archived)
Alright, Fast Eddie

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:13, archived)
hi

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:20, archived)
Apart from the obvious, our lives seem to be moving in parallel
Every time my head feels like it's about to explode, I look at the photos and floorplan of the new place. And masturbate like a capuchin monkey.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:18, archived)

like on
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:20, archived)
they're fast af

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:21, archived)
capuchinny reckon

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:22, archived)
Once went to the opening of a Swiss-style pizza restaurant in SoHo
Even after eating there, still have no idea what a Swiss-style pizza was. Never seen the place ever again
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:42, archived)
Did someone just drop bread in their fondue?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:43, archived)
That would have tasted much nicer :/

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:47, archived)
I think it's mainly that they don't use black olives

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:47, archived)
I do remember the crust was made out of Toblerone

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:48, archived)
You can only pay for Swiss pizza with nazi gold.
Also, it has holes in it, and a cuckoo pops out on the hour.
lol, stereotyping!
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:48, archived)
because it's currently non-existent

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:24, archived)
Have you tried applying for a few?
Apparently there's loads now.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:26, archived)
i have, even though i'm not currently being ordered to
it's all seasonal work for under 25's right now, i want something permanent
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 15:39, archived)
That nice Mr Hammond said that everyone has a job, now.
Are you sure you didn't become a barista without realising?
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:06, archived)
i'd drink them out of stock in no time

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:08, archived)
Beef or chicken stock?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:12, archived)
bovril

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:27, archived)
^ Mrs Murdoch

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:39, archived)
Been slow in here for the last week.
On the plus side I've got all the Christmas shopping done.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 16:13, archived)
Afternoon.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 13:11, archived)
I've missed so much

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 13:45, archived)
iplayer it

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 13:52, archived)
iRbaboon

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 13:53, archived)
Alright bendors and bendees!
Thursday, eh? They said it'd never happen, and here we are! Haha. Be lucky!
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:14, archived)
Cheers

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:15, archived)
Cheers

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:17, archived)
Cheers

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:35, archived)
Cheers

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:00, archived)
Cheers

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:12, archived)
Cheers

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:27, archived)
I just had my first mice pie of the year
The Rubicon truly has been crossed.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:17, archived)
I had a hamster cake for breakfast this morning.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:19, archived)
I had a guinea pig gateau for breakfast this morning.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:21, archived)
I tucked into a shrew shoe pastry for elevenses

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:27, archived)
What a coincidence, I just had a vole-au-vent

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:28, archived)

pie

classic Gary!
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:26, archived)
You can fuck that off

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:27, archived)
I'm having a terrible day Gary, a fucking shocker

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:29, archived)
Well, I'm sorry to hear that
Not boiler related again I hope?
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:30, archived)
I wish it was tbh

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 13:39, archived)
Well, that sounds rubbish
Listen to some Lighthouse Family, that'll cheer you up.

Because after few seconds you can turn it off in the certainty you won't have to listen to it again.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:00, archived)
A note of caution: We can never achieve goals that envy sets for us.
Looking at your friends and wishing you had what they had is a waste of precious energy. Because we are all unique, what makes another happy may do the opposite for you. That's why advice is nice but often disappointing when heeded.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:18, archived)
Only when the Hebrew menace is wiped from the face of the earth will mankind truly be happy.
There
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:27, archived)
+Dennis

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 13:50, archived)
I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling
that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:28, archived)
Sounds great, but look what happened to Louis CK.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:02, archived)
I think we now know that his surname had a pronounced but not written o and c

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:40, archived)
Will that get me my secret volcano lair?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 13:11, archived)

l h

for those lava-hot-locks that'll help you get you off your molten rocks!
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 14:01, archived)
my bum is cold :(

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:38, archived)
come here, I'll warm it up

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:39, archived)
not gay sex
I was going to help warm it through callisthenics
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:48, archived)
sure

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:50, archived)
Think that means good luck

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:46, archived)
And WE made it happen
Praise be to us, and a little to Allah to cover all bases
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:40, archived)
I wouldn't worry too much
the Quran borrows heavily from the bible
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:41, archived)
Jesus is mentioned the most in the Quran
The second is Bobby Ball
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:45, archived)
Rock on, Mohammed!

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:47, archived)
shame Canon's teachings were dismissed

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:47, archived)
He's a heretic
And death to you for bringing him up
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:56, archived)
hell is warm

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:57, archived)
The embroidered college crest on my uniform has rubbed my left nipple raw.
Might have to start wearing a vest. Or nipple tassles. Any advice?
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:47, archived)
wear nothing upstairs
you've got the body to pull it off
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:48, archived)
and don't be slut shamed

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:48, archived)
I'll be cold though

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:50, archived)
but sexy

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:52, archived)
you need to grease your nipples with vaseline

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:53, archived)
and film it pls

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:53, archived)
Gaffer-tape an 'X' over your nipple.
It even doubles as a cheap solution for chest waxing.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:54, archived)
Gently drizzle melted wax over the affected nipple
This will form a protective shell
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:58, archived)
Couple of piercings
Claim them back as PPE
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:28, archived)
Get a ferret to chew them off
Or, failing that, get a stoat
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:51, archived)
Just had about 8 flakes of snow here PANIC 111!!¡

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:49, archived)
Really? Blimey
I've been very optimistic, and hung some washing out.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:50, archived)
I hope a tramp steals it to keep warm.
Your opulence is sickening
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:52, archived)
He'd have to get through a high, locked gate
then clamber over three gardens to get here. If he managed that, he deserves the laundry.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:55, archived)
Sounds like It's a Homeless Knockout!

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:29, archived)
get to the shop and buy as much milk and bread as you can

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:52, archived)
Another day closer to payday

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 11:55, archived)
customer of the day: David Stiff

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:01, archived)
Good old Stiffy

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:05, archived)
recovering data from my deceased grandfather's hdd
"fun"
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:01, archived)
what sort of porn was he into?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:06, archived)
none found

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:42, archived)
I've just read that the official definition of a 'white Christmas'
is when at least one snowflake falls anywhere in the UK on 25 December. Sounds like a bit of a cop-out to me.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:32, archived)

when at least one snowflake falls anywhere in the UK on 25 December. the title of a popular christmas song by tuneful child-beater, Bing fucking Crosby.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:35, archived)
+ that it's really hard to sing nowadays without sounding like a massive racist

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:38, archived)
Bookies only pay out if it snows at the met office london

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:46, archived)
What, at the actual Met Office?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 12:52, archived)
Morning.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:15, archived)
lol

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:18, archived)
Alright.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:49, archived)
Mint with a jigger of reem.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:01, archived)
I hope dozer drinks a vial of poison

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:18, archived)
He ain't got the minerals to do it

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:21, archived)
Already on it m8

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:30, archived)
He is a prick isn't he

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:49, archived)
One part cheap vodka, one part curaçao, three parts glyphosphate, dash of seltzer.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:56, archived)
In every aspect of our lives, we are always asking ourselves, How am I of value? What is my worth? Yet I believe that worthiness is our birthright.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:20, archived)
This one's surprisingly relevant today.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:21, archived)
Alright David Byrne

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:42, archived)
Eh? Morning you say?
but I've wished everyone a novembend and been called a novembender in reply.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:21, archived)
I don't believe in November.
I just have 2 Octobers
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:50, archived)
October and Octwober? Oc2ober?
How do you account for the missing 31st Octwober/2ober?
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:03, archived)
I have one less day in june

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:06, archived)
that's a good system

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:11, archived)
How is your brother?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:15, archived)
still hospital
He's asking for a phone charger and so on today, so he's at least coherent now.

Thanks for asking. Deciding whether to head up to see him or not - depends on what happens today, I think.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:20, archived)
Do they know what's causing the fits?
Hopefully there is a set of meds available to at least keep the fits at bay.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:23, archived)
Not yet no

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:36, archived)
Morning Windy

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:24, archived)
Alright TH.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:50, archived)
chilly one today, boy

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:00, archived)
Bit of a repeater this morning

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:26, archived)
That's where beans for breakfast'll get you.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:29, archived)
Is it just me that thinks that non crispy hash browns are a stain on our society?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:35, archived)
It's not just you.
If you're going to eat non-crispy hash browns, you might as well eat raw chips for all the satisfaction you're going to get.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:36, archived)
Halfway between bubble'n'squeak and a hash brown,
but not as enjoyable as either.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:38, archived)
What on earth's a bath brown?
A hash brown that's gone soggy from being left in the bath?
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:39, archived)
it's when you do a poo in the bath

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:46, archived)
disgusting
At least when you do it in the shower, you can toe it down the plughole
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:01, archived)
It's no worse than a bit of soap bobbing around

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:04, archived)
Can you spin it around the rim?
so to speak
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:05, archived)
I've reported this comment to the mods

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:19, archived)
thanks, they never reply to my emails

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:21, archived)
I've only corrected it to make a nonsense of this subthread.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:18, archived)
Is it not still morning?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:50, archived)
I reject the shackles of your archaic societies vague meanings
Kinda more Mid-morning now innit
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:57, archived)
Brunch thread

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:35, archived)
alright 'ian mackaye'

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:52, archived)
You are onto a steady diet of nothing with that kind of talk

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:59, archived)
Is today's google doodle supposed to be implying that Scottish People are gay?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:08, archived)
Why else would they forego underwear and wear skirts if not for ease of bum access?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:16, archived)
I thought that was so they could inject heroin into their penuses faster

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:38, archived)
No, it's so that they can recreate that Marilyn Monroe skirt scene
but using haggis guffs and blaming it on the bagpipes
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 10:52, archived)
Only one more sleepington until the choccie-woccie advent calendar comes out!!!!

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:16, archived)
Trying to get banned again eh

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:19, archived)
Is 'sleepington' a proscribed term?
If it isn't, it prolly should be.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:24, archived)
It says in the FAQs that anyone using the term faces an instant lifetime IP ban

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:25, archived)
I do love a bit of FAQ

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:26, archived)
It's FAQin' brilliant

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:30, archived)
FAQ me til I fart

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:43, archived)
I'm FAQ'ing as I type this

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:44, archived)
I ain't never seen so much FAQin' off.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:48, archived)
I'm a middle-aged woman who works in HR
I've eaten all of mine already.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:25, archived)
Classic fat chix badinage!

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:28, archived)
Happy Novembend!

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:32, archived)
lol, Novembender

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:46, archived)
Is it okay to LOL at this?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:03, archived)
No, it's exactly the sort of pathetic homophobia that has ruined this board and driven away all the LGBTQI members.
lol, "members"
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:07, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8028493
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:40, archived)
battle of the mornings

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:42, archived)
DYAAKY

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:43, archived)
report him to the mods

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:44, archived)
chuck him in the pool!

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:58, archived)
everyone should be reported to the mods

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:07, archived)
not many Thursdays left this year

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:49, archived)
Before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount of stress to your life, ask yourself:
What is my truest intention? Give yourself time to let a yes resound within you. When it's right, I guarantee that your entire body will feel it.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:09, archived)
^ swallowed the little book of calm

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:12, archived)

book cock
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 9:22, archived)
Morning.
Only one day to go before you're officially allowed to play Christmas music in the office.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:03, archived)
Morno

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:05, archived)
WoPo from the popo

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:09, archived)
Happy St Andrew's Day everyone

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:06, archived)
Braw!
*burns a sassenach*
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:09, archived)
Not really into golf.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:25, archived)
Morning thread 2: this time it's personal.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:09, archived)
Got to make more of that sweet money from all the people who saw the first morning thread.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:10, archived)
What office?

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:13, archived)
Microsoft Office, of course.
There's a hidden macro that makes Clippy do a little number as the lead singer in a cantina band.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:18, archived)
Aww I don't have that

(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:22, archived)
I can come to your office and hide behind your desk
and bend a paperclip to make it look like a person and then make it do a little song and dance routine if you like.
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:24, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8134078
(, Thu 30 Nov 2017, 8:44, archived)

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