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morning

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:21, archived)

Woah, threadrush!

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:26, archived)

I don't want to cause a schism
but we all know who starts the morning threads round here
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:30, archived)

Who pissed in your porridge, Mr Stompy McStompington?

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:27, archived)

woah hey no offence intended
my page didn't refresh
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:30, archived)

Did the Polish internet manager forget to put a coin in the slot this morning?

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:48, archived)

He couldn't make change cos we're so minted these days

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:51, archived)

Thursday was over very quickly

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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:31, archived)

thursday had a false start

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:34, archived)

yooooooooooooo

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$$ ✅, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 8:43, archived)

shop shouting into your mother's vagina

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 8:51, archived)

uptown Grrrr

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 8:48, archived)

I bet he has had a backstreet guy

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 8:48, archived)

disgusting

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$$ ✅, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 8:50, archived)

better than having a backstreet boy, you pederast

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 8:52, archived)

I want it that way

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 9:51, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8176859
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 9:56, archived)

my mum had the Innocent Man album on loop throughout my childhood
I'm traumatised now
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 8:51, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8176860
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 9:14, archived)

damn straight
rattling around Thanet in an Austin metro with only Billy Joel for company is hardly the stuff of Enid Blyton.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 9:20, archived)

GOOD morning

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broadsword w⚓, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 8:51, archived)

it is now, sweetcheeks

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 8:55, archived)

Gareth Southgate's red and white army , bring your vodka and your charlie

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mongychops, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 9:57, archived)

Morning.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 6:06, archived)

morning m8, how's it?

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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 6:22, archived)

Aye, not so bad.
It's going to be crazy hectic until lunchtime and then I can crash and chill out. How's your good self?
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 6:28, archived)

I have an appointment with a 87 year old man which will include a free lunch \o/
after that my weekend starts. and the weekend promises Belgian beer called "Delirium Tremens". it's got a pink elephant logo. lolo. last night I had beer called "Prazubr", some Polish beer Grrrski will know more about.
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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 6:43, archived)

Ah yes, you can even get Delirium Tremens on tap in some places over here.
Enjoy.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 6:52, archived)

Never heard of Prazubr
but it basically translates to Great-grandfather-Bison, or steppe bison if you want to be serious
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:31, archived)

Morning

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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 6:50, archived)

Sumashu-san.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 6:53, archived)

This could be my last day with pterodactyl girl and boy stupid
As it's interview day tomorrow. I know it's not a nice thing to say, but I really hope neither of them get the job
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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:12, archived)

I think you're allowed to appeal to the cosmic sense of equity that idiots should not reap the fruit of the capable through pity or happenstance.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:23, archived)

Even if she does get the job
Pterodactyl girl won't be there long. She hates being told what to do, she's sullen, she's aggressive, she swears constantly and her timekeeping is a joke
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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:30, archived)

Learn how to report that like a manager:
Pterodactyl girl does not recognise the command chain, and this is reflected in her attitude. She does not enjoy working with others, requires additional training regarding appropriate communication techniques, and needs significant improvement regarding her approach to deadlines.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:50, archived)

That will become clear at her interview
She only opens her mouth to change feet
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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 7:59, archived)

She also has wings formed by a skin and muscle membrane stretching from her elongated fourth finger to her hind limbs... the bitch.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 28 Jun 2018, 8:25, archived)

The original bingo wings.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 8:44, archived)

that's probably enough of that
here's an updated doveston memorial cup table, you slaaags

i guess i'll do one of these every so often, and every day once we're past the group stage

i.imgur.com/fAgPcOc.png
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 17:47, archived)

Thanks mano

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 17:49, archived)

no probs
i have been a bit lax. reckon you'll beat the frogs?
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 18:37, archived)

Currently I don't, but the 2ñd round game is a different ball game of the same sport

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 18:42, archived)

Tell you what.
The other night, I had a gigantic burrito with chips INSIDE IT. The restaurant said all their burritos were served with chips, and I felt all short-changed on getting home and finding there was no separate bag of chips with it, but they were inside the very burrito itself. Mental.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 17:51, archived)

I like burritos and I like chips

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 18:30, archived)

~~ritos and I like chi~~
and guffs
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broadsword w⚓, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 22:43, archived)

are you sure? they put garlic in them.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 23:04, archived)

In glasgow they do this with kebab wraps, it's called a hoagie/hoggie depending on how the owner has decided to spell it.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 19:01, archived)

red everywhere and in my heart

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 17:52, archived)

sorry hun x

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 18:39, archived)

I didn't know cholesterol was red

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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 21:13, archived)

nice

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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 18:23, archived)

good work

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 18:30, archived)

your lot were a bit wank, eh?

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 18:38, archived)

Chance to redeem themselves tomorrow

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 18:39, archived)

only one central European team left in it

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 18:40, archived)

Serbs and croats

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 18:44, archived)

no fucking surprise there

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 19:31, archived)

Aww, I've been eliminated.
Like a big poo, out of a bottom. :(
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Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 18:47, archived)

yeah, surprisingly

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 19:28, archived)

There
www.northampton.ac.uk/news/wwii-military-watches-potentially-pose-serious-cancer-risk/
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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 20:17, archived)

Thanks for this
RIP Nigeria
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Cheers Cheers, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 20:44, archived)

‘ave it

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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 22:15, archived)

_{_{_{_⚽🏆}⚽}🏆}⚽ ¡Vamos, México! ⚽_{🏆_{⚽_{🏆_⚽}}}
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broadsword w⚓, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 22:19, archived)

living vicariously through the danes here courtesy of artifus

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 23:00, archived)

you miss a weekend i cut you

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artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 23:35, archived)

i can see you run a tight ship

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 1:28, archived)

p t
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 1:29, archived)

That qotw has been up for a month.
Has rob given up for the umpteenth time? He could at least reinstate us.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 23:33, archived)

maybe if we pay him

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 1:26, archived)

LOOOOOOL

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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 17:16, archived)

laughing obnoxiously, ostentatiously, overtly, outrageously, 'orribly out loud?

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 17:24, archived)

Lubricates orang-utan, otter, oryx, owl and orphan orifices liberally?

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 17:28, archived)

languidly oozes out of oval orange orifices lately?

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 17:33, archived)

I'm going to a corporate family picnic
How have you sold your soul for the company dime?
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 13:18, archived)

champagne socialist

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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 13:20, archived)

Oasis were shit m8

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 13:27, archived)

just roll with it.

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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 13:29, archived)

NTT
you can find who got which team from the handy link in my sig
or this even handier link: i.imgur.com/elOG1yC.png
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:07, archived)

I understood that TLA.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:16, archived)

I'm sure in the original doveston cup doves kept us updated with what was going on

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:18, archived)

doves died
this is in his memory

show some respect
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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:20, archived)

Poor two hats is still in russia trying to get tickets to his next match

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:21, archived)

the site was less shit then

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 17:25, archived)

I'm still standing!

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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 16:55, archived)

Too posh to be a Chardonnay Socialist, are you?
#uptheworkers
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:16, archived)

I'm a full on Marxist

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 13:26, archived)

Thought the BBC were a bit harsh on maradona yesterday

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 13:35, archived)

what did they say?
was it about his taunt to the fans?
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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 13:42, archived)

They were just digging him out, called him an embarrassment, yeah Rio you can talk

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 13:54, archived)

~~talk~~ dance on the sand
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 13:56, archived)

the thing is, once they become pundits, they act like the audience doesn't remember how they played

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 14:08, archived)

Rio in his head was a great ball playing centre back with silky skills

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 14:24, archived)

I love how unhappy Roy Keane always looks on ITV

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 14:27, archived)

Slaven just disagrees with everyone

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 14:36, archived)

I always try and turn it on just before kick off to avoid him and Evra

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 14:38, archived)

come on, South Korea!

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 14:59, archived)

It's a big ask

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:01, archived)

I want to believe

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:03, archived)

Ze germans don't look good

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:50, archived)

still
they're probably most likely to get a goal in the final minutes
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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:52, archived)

For sho

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:54, archived)

sweden are winning!

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 16:20, archived)

hold out korea
don't let the krauts in
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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 16:43, archived)

Oh I don't want those Nazi cunts to Nick this

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 16:46, archived)

Cheers in the pub for that goal

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 16:54, archived)

lololololololololololol

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 16:55, archived)

2 nil to the Seoul boys

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 16:56, archived)

had to build fucking towers out of paper again
despite being promised last week that exactly this wouldn't happen
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:18, archived)

Are you doing job training, or studying Kafka?

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:25, archived)

stupid team building exercises again
we've done most of what we need to do, but some cunts are holding the rest of us back
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:30, archived)

Team building with people you're unlikely to by working with?
Sounds great!
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:37, archived)

from the sounds of it, i will be
the place doesn't open till next month and they need a full staff, so there's a very good chance i'll be working with most, if not all, of them
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:55, archived)

Team building that makes you hate the team...
Winning!
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:42, archived)

not the whole team
just pterodactyl girl and idiot boy
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:51, archived)

Together, they fight crime!

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:52, archived)

together, they lower the collective I.Q of the room by about 40 points

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:56, archived)

They're shoo-ins for extras on The Tick.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:52, archived)

let's hope their characters die slowly and painfully

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 15:57, archived)

I quite enjoyed the new TV version,
but it could have done with more whimsy.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 16:32, archived)

i've only seen a trailer
it made me smile, but i don't want to watch it. nevertheless i'm inclined to agree with you
(ozof, Thu 28 Jun 2018, 4:23, archived)

I think my house is trying to kill me. It's hotter than hell so hive has decided to put the heating up to 35 C

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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 16:52, archived)

are you sure you didn't install HAL by mistake?

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 16:54, archived)

Happy Helen Keller Day!

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:35, archived)

If you really meant it, you'd have posted that in Braille.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:38, archived)

Oh, I mean it
I mean it real good
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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:41, archived)

I'm just not feeling it.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:51, archived)

RIP Iceland in the World Cup

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:41, archived)

still heard nothing about my team
I assume that no news is good news
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:42, archived)

I think they have purposely stopped archiving talk pages since the outage.
so I can't look back and find the post
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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:48, archived)

Shit innit

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:52, archived)

well bum

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:54, archived)

I'm sure I've got the argies

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:59, archived)

you want to get that treated before it spreads

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 12:01, archived)

bbq at two hats' in her honour this afternoon
usual food and beer arrangements, but please respect the vegan grill this time
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:42, archived)

no worries
be good to catch up
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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:42, archived)

still don't know if drimble got his invitation or not

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:48, archived)

he's driving

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:48, archived)

I'll have a few pints of it in her honour

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mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:45, archived)

cheers

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:48, archived)

Didn't see that one coming.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 12:14, archived)

!

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 12:26, archived)

^closed his eyes at the bukkake party

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 12:41, archived)

It's the most wonderful time of the year

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 27 Jun 2018, 12:15, archived)

i wish it could be Kellermas everyday

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 12:27, archived)

morning

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 7:17, archived)

I just can't.
Yet I must.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 7:27, archived)

I Have No Mint, and I Must Reem.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 7:29, archived)

"Repeng, Harlequin!" Cried the Fleektock Man

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H.B.Mupps, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 10:26, archived)

^millennial man

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 7:38, archived)

I installed RetroArch on my Fire TV.
14 year old me would go nuts for it, 40 year old me just thinks everything is shit and rubbish.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:10, archived)

I bought a couple of joypads for the wife and I
we tried to play Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime but it was just too fucking difficult, and there are very few other couch co-op games that are more about problem solving than just frantic running and shooting.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:12, archived)

That does look a bit mental.
Portal 2 co-op mode?
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:15, archived)

yeah, I keep meaning to give that a go

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:20, archived)

Only video games my missus has ever enjoyed were Lemmings and Vib Ribbon.
Don't think Lemmings had a proper 2 player mode, though.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:23, archived)

I played through Limbo with an ex once in brainstorming 'what do we do now?' mode.
It's not a proper two-player but figuring out stuff together was still fun.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:31, archived)

How low can you go?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:36, archived)

Ab below bottom C on a good day.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:38, archived)

Ab?
To the Fail Archive!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:46, archived)

My favourite co-op game with the wife involves puzzle solving and frantic shooting, iykwim.
Might buy another usb adapter for the old PlayStation joypads that clutter my cable draw - 2 player SFII would earn me a good chunk of goodwill from the kids.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:20, archived)

try overcooked maybe

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 10:22, archived)

Thanolith.

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 10:29, archived)

Overcooked is a fun couch co op
Cartoony style, working together to make meals in various kitchens, but it gets pretty hectic very quickly

...dammit manolith...
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 10:28, archived)

soz hotfuck

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 11:02, archived)

Mrrrning

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 7:30, archived)

wotchamate yeti

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 7:39, archived)

Morning
Rail disruptions this morning, may have to leave early
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 7:39, archived)

welcome to the world of commuting

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 7:41, archived)

I'm looking forward to pterodactyl girl's inevitable meltdown
Because she didn't bother to check the travel news
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 7:51, archived)

if the earth was flat
she'd have seen the traffic from hundreds of miles away
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:01, archived)

I read that as "Racial disruptions this morning".

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 7:42, archived)

Wouldn't surprise me

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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 7:52, archived)

check out dat new Hello Kitty Shikansen!
I mean, WHO wouldn't?!
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:24, archived)

edition.cnn.com/travel/article/hello-kitty-shinkansen-train-japan/index.html
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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:26, archived)

mods are asleep, post shinks

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:28, archived)

Yo

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 27 Jun 2018, 7:46, archived)

grab today with both hands
and smash its fucking face in
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:02, archived)

There is some super secret filming of a super secret film in college.
We have been told to sign him disclosure and photographs are banned on site for 2 weeks. Yesterday, it was in the local paper.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:22, archived)

FakeTaxi has expanded to FakeCollege now?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:27, archived)

Watch out, Beadle's about!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:08, archived)

The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers.

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$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:23, archived)

thats when good neighbours
become good frieeeeeends
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:28, archived)

cheers, fellow Central European

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:25, archived)

bollocks is Poland Central European
it borders Russia, Belarus and Ukraine ffs
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:28, archived)

and I always thought your glass is half full

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:30, archived)

yeah, I'm well known for my cheery demeanour

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:35, archived)

Somewhere there is sunshine
Somewhere there is day
Somewhere there is Morningtown
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:34, archived)

+ Crescent

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:37, archived)

and everyone there is gay

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:50, archived)

gonna gay it hard today

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:08, archived)

good morning

(

broadsword w⚓, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:39, archived)

what's so good about it?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 8:50, archived)

The day ahead is full of endless possibility, you are only limited by your own imagination

(

broadsword w⚓, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:01, archived)

and money, and skill, and opportunity, and laws, and fucking physics
go live love laugh somewhere else, you basic bitch
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:03, archived)

:) :) :) :) :) :) :)

(

broadsword w⚓, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:03, archived)

I just imagined all those things away

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:07, archived)

like Steve Jobs did with his cancer!

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:10, archived)

all those cancer cells are dead now

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:13, archived)

the poster boy for alternative medicine

(

$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:16, archived)

Dying - it's the new living!

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:33, archived)

amen

(

$$ ✅, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:04, archived)

Olla

(

mongychops, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 9:45, archived)

heyoooo

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Jun 2018, 10:03, archived)

Waddup, sukkaz.
Stap me vitals, eh? It's already pub time.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 17:50, archived)

Going home to watch the argies get knocked out of the world cup

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 18:44, archived)

Boooooooo

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 19:15, archived)

football

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 19:18, archived)

It is yeah

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 19:24, archived)

Glad we got that one cleared up.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 19:27, archived)

youtu.be/UW_xEqCWrm0
(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:11, archived)

https://youtu.be/gutCFMc5khY
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:34, archived)

bugger

(

$$ ✅, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:45, archived)

Argie cunts

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:46, archived)

Argentina v France, allez les bleus I think

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:55, archived)

I bet that goes to penalties

(

$$ ✅, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:59, archived)

I take that back
with VAR there will probably be a penalty before half time
(

$$ ✅, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 21:00, archived)

I think var will be used less now

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 21:01, archived)

I hope so
it's jarring to stop the game and for the ref to watch the telly for five minutes
(

$$ ✅, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 21:03, archived)

Could do, I'll bet that, and france rolling them over,

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 21:00, archived)

Showered and relaxing
Trying to take my mind off the fuckwit today who thought a good way to rescue himself from a raft adrift at sea would be to "sort of lay mosquito netting on the water and walk across it to dry land ". The dry land in question was 200 miles away and he thought if he kept hold of one end of the netting, it would magically support him.
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:12, archived)

I'd think you'll gonna die anyway , making a sail out of them won't work, and sharing a soon to beach whale is unlikely, I'm popular on these sort of courses

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:21, archived)

"well given I'd probably have to come back here I reckon I might just try and drown myself in the sea"

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:24, archived)

You'd get told for that shit, bitch be humble

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:34, archived)

I was the first to suggest eating the fattest person in the room

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:29, archived)

I'm still struggling why when you've all managed to get on a raft out at see you wanted net curtains, even with my love of them I'd maybe skip them

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:33, archived)

You've recovered 15 items from the shipwreck
And you have to list them in order of importance for survival and rescue
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:43, archived)

I bet he thought that if he pulled up his socks and just kept hold of them, that would lift him out of the water.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:34, archived)

He was a former signal man on heathrow and collected wind socks that he insisted on carrying around, I think you've solved it, shame he's on the dole now

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:36, archived)

Probably
He actually wants the job, he's 21 and his girlfriend is having their third kid
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:45, archived)

Did she have their first one when she was fourteen?

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:47, archived)

17, 19 and 20
Just about legal
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 21:00, archived)

Just think of all those juicy benefits.
Who needs a job, anyway?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 21:01, archived)

Benefit caps now, innit?

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 21:06, archived)

Ah yes, for a merciful moment back there I'd forgotten about the Tories.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 22:02, archived)

Not sure you get bens for those ages , they get their own tenner a day

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 21:07, archived)

Child benefits capped so you only get money for 2 kids
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 21:11, archived)

morning

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:16, archived)

^in b4 grrrmachine

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:30, archived)

Let's just do a week's worth of morning threads in one go and get it over with, eh?

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 20:35, archived)

Also, saying stap me vitals makes me picture you as Kenneth Williams

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 21:12, archived)

Ooooooooooh, matron!

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 21:33, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:00, archived)

What's the craic?
Who called in the bomb scare?
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:13, archived)

so you abandon the site for years
and then come back surprised that other people also left? Are you dense, or just Irish?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:14, archived)

And I rember back when everyone under 10k left, there was still people coming in to replace them.
So, I ask again, what the fuck happened? Or did Rob finally wise up, take a leaf out of 4chan's book and finally turn this place into the defacto containment board?
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:25, archived)

It's been in slow decline for ages.
Nobody new is joining. Maybe with Rob getting up on the newsletters again we might see some new folk in.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:28, archived)

Hope so, kinda thinking I need a new internet hangout again.
Also, I think I added you on steam ages ago, why the fuck did we not get together in-game so?
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:41, archived)

I dunno. I thought we were going to be mates.
I cry a lot about it.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:52, archived)

If you could have any new features here what would have?

(

Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 11:04, archived)

the official monster munch spelling and grammar checker

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 11:14, archived)

Does it turn all the words in to E number coloured spaz attacks?

(

Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 11:16, archived)

ascii pornography generator

(

$$ ✅, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 11:21, archived)

(.)(.)
) (
/ / \ \
(

Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 11:23, archived)

after Bangate, we haven't had a new QOTW in five weeks
Rob fucked up the revival with his heavy hands, he's lost his taste for this place and, post-GDPR, the newsletter is dead in the water.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:43, archived)

Only obliquely been following GDPR, how did it kill newsletter?
Riddled with so much infringing shit, it needed to be put down? Also, what was bangate?
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:54, archived)

you can't send shit to people's emails unless they've expressly signed up for it
For rob, that means sending out a new email to ask anyone who signed up before whether they still want to receive the newsletter, and then be upset when only four people reply and three of them say no and the other is his mum asking him where the TV remote is.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:56, archived)

rip newsletter so.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:58, archived)

i think i went on a disappointing holiday to bangate once

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 11:14, archived)

Morning
Another scorcher today
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:13, archived)

the only scorcher round here
is you
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:13, archived)

Oh, you!

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:20, archived)

Hello there.
Few thousands bikes at Cassington Bike Night last night. Never seen it so busy.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:15, archived)

Didn't know Cassignton had its own Pride festival

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:16, archived)

Loads of men in leather looking at eachothers piston.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:18, archived)

Morning. Is it hot in Pooland too?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:15, archived)

No
it's been hot for the past month but now it's raining.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:16, archived)

yo whitey

(

$$ ✅, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 8:07, archived)

how do you know I'm not the blackest motherfucker around?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 8:13, archived)

Oh, I know

(

$$ ✅, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 8:30, archived)

hi hun hru lol

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 8:40, archived)

gd u lol?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 8:43, archived)

Six of these, and half a dozen of those ones over there.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 8:41, archived)

sorry, we only sell them by the kilo

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 8:43, archived)

bleedin' European Commission

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 9:01, archived)

Bonjour

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 8:49, archived)

bonjour monsieur mongolien
comment ca va?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 8:52, archived)

Ca va bien, et vous ca va bien?

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 9:00, archived)

Allez, on se tutoie!
ca va
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 9:05, archived)

'sup mongy, get out fishing this weather?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 8:53, archived)

Bit hot at the moment and they are still spawning or just finishing

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 9:01, archived)

I went to a fisherman's bar on Sunday.
It looked out onto a lake and there were people fishing left, right and centre.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 9:29, archived)

Strikethrough lols

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 9:36, archived)

He'.
There was a sign up saying that if you caught any carp, you had to throw them back IMMEDIATELY.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 9:42, archived)

Place them back gently

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 9:48, archived)

if you're breaking up with a carp it's going to be upset no matter how gently you treat them

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 9:52, archived)

No carping a feel.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 9:55, archived)

Well, that would be just innapropriate really.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 9:56, archived)

Hooooooing for tonight

(

$$ ✅, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 10:01, archived)

I need a new nationality
Poland was beyond embarrasing
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 10:27, archived)

Uruguayan
they've already won it twice
(

$$ ✅, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 10:41, archived)

I refuse to acknowledge the 1930 world cup

(

mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 10:43, archived)

that's your prerogative

(

$$ ✅, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 11:35, archived)

H p
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 11:47, archived)

Jesus, this place is dead.
What the fuck happened?
rip /talk
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 6:54, archived)

It's such a lovely sunny day we thought we'd all do /talk outside.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:13, archived)

This place going outside.
Too early for trying to make me laugh, seeing morning from the wrong side as usual.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 26 Jun 2018, 7:27, archived)

be careful out there
it's hot
(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 12:19, archived)

I bet two hats was gamey the moment he woke up
like a joint of gammon left out in the sun
(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 12:19, archived)

no it isn't
it's been raining for three days now
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 12:20, archived)

god's blessing

(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 12:24, archived)

I'm inside with air conditioning

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 12:49, archived)

nice

(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 12:54, archived)

Ok mate

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Jun 2018, 12:54, archived)

cheers

(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 12:55, archived)

Cheers

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:02, archived)

I hope God burns all the heathens

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:02, archived)

amen

(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:04, archived)

No need to go out till 3 :(

(

mongychops, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:14, archived)

yeah
why have the moved two matches to the same time?
(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:16, archived)

To stop a carve up , teams playing for draws and the like

(

mongychops, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:19, archived)

of course

(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:22, archived)

I only found out yesterday that if goal difference is the same it goes on cards

(

mongychops, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:26, archived)

fifa fair play which is ironic given how corrupt those bastards are

(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:28, archived)

What if the cards are the same? Then what

(

mongychops, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:30, archived)

good point

(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:32, archived)

dicks out and a measuring tape

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:40, archived)

unlucky asian teams ;(

(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 13:41, archived)

Their tape measures spool out sideways?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 14:16, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 6:44, archived)

[reply]

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 7:37, archived)

[ receipt acknowledged ]

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 7:53, archived)

Get a room you two.

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 25 Jun 2018, 8:07, archived)

[*bums*]

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:13, archived)

Morning

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 7:49, archived)

alright smashers
still on your course/workshop?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 7:53, archived)

Yo

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Jun 2018, 7:54, archived)

*gang sign*

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 8:02, archived)

Back to work.
😥
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Jun 2018, 8:02, archived)

I'm designing a mezzanine

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 8:06, archived)

Mornin' it up with a vengeance over here
with muffins for brekmastide and all.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 8:37, archived)

wife made "breakfast muffins"
what sort of fucking muffins are made of egg and have brocolli and olives in them? fuck's sake.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 8:44, archived)

I thought muffins were a de facto breakfast food anyway.
Those sound like a vegetarian take on the Maccie D's variety.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 8:46, archived)

Sounds like he might be talking about American muffins.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:15, archived)

That's a point; I hadn't thought of that.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:21, archived)

it's more like a quiche tbh

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:25, archived)

you should wash it down with a delicious broccoli coffee
www.wellandgood.com/good-food/what-is-broccoli-coffee/
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:11, archived)

the phrase "wellness boost" makes me want to punch multiple faces

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:12, archived)

NEWEST TYPE OF GREEN ALT-LATTE TO HIT THE COFFEE SCENE
like, oh my god
(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:16, archived)

Until I first drank my dog’s pee, I was depressed, I was sad, and I had really bad acne.
Dog pee also has vitamin A in it, vitamin E in it, and it has 10 grams of calcium, and it’s also proven to help cure cancer
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:32, archived)

That sounds satisfyingly grim.
Then again I was sceptical about turmeric tea but that turned out alright.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:16, archived)

Is that turmeric added to a cup of tea,
or a "tea" made from turmeric that doesn't actually involve tea leaves?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:30, archived)

The latter; there's no actual tea in it at all.
Boil up a couple of tablespoons of turmeric, a tablespoon of cinnamon, a few cloves, a twist of black pepper and a teaspoon of nutmeg for about ten minutes, strain and add coconut milk and honey to taste.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:31, archived)

you fucking stupid fucking prick

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:33, archived)

Love you too, babe xxx

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:35, archived)

Much as I'll enjoy the odd ginger or mint infusion,
THAT'S NOT TEA!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:39, archived)

Might add some ginger next time; that's an idea.
It is, of course, emblematic of our linguistic laziness as a society that it should be referred to as 'tea' rather than as an infusion. It's the other way round in French. I've heard 'infusion' used to describe flavoured teas, which actually did contain tea.

#teachat
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:47, archived)

No doubt there's a far east moribund flebsite where some poor soul is throwing a blue fit about the way we westerners make tea.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 10:04, archived)

Weeping tears of attention-seeking into his saltwater pool.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 10:19, archived)

yes sir

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 8:46, archived)

carry on

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:14, archived)

touch my bum
this is life
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 8:48, archived)

I'd rather have a piece of toast tbh

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:14, archived)

stank

(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 8:50, archived)

I've washed this week

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:17, archived)

congrats to Erdogan
I knew you could do it
(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 10:31, archived)

not for long.
this too shall pass
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 11:23, archived)

not long now

(

$$ ✅, Mon 25 Jun 2018, 11:59, archived)

Sunday's been a quality day so far.
I'm sunburnt to feck. How's your Sunday been going?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 20:26, archived)

Can't complain.
Got the twins back from camp, and the in-laws cooked up a leg of lamb.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:05, archived)

That does sound like a thoroughly decent bit of weekending.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:08, archived)

Did you put it in your mouth of human?

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:16, archived)

Alright, had a massive hungover lie in then went to see Yazz Ahmed.
I enjoyed it but jazz crowds can be odd can't they. Lots of people in hats nodding and applauding to point out they 'get it'.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:17, archived)

Hello, and welcome to Yazz Club. Nice.
They're all so intensely serious. I read an interview with Paul Whitehouse in FHM where he explained that it was precisely this joyless and pretentious attitude among the fans that led him to come up with the Smashie and Nicey characters and, subsequently, the Jazz Club sketch.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:21, archived)

It's weird 'cos you get some right scruffy messes playing jazz as well.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:33, archived)

Yeah, but they're "in the music", maaaaan.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:34, archived)

Productive
Cleaned, got the shower drain unclogged, had a nice chicken dinner at my parent's house, I've just had a shower and now I'm sitting down with a pint and watching the thing.
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:21, archived)

Winner winner, chicken unblocked shower.
It will never cease to amaze me how The Thing's special effects have still not dated after virtually forty fucking years. Have you seen the X-Files episode based on it?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:27, archived)

I have not
Never really got into the x-files
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:32, archived)

Ah, now that's a shame.
It was hilariously uneven in the quality of its writing (much like Star Trek TNG) but there were a few gems of episodes. Including this one.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:34, archived)

My mother loved it
And by mother/ daughter rules, I had to dislike it
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:42, archived)

There's a similar rule in place between my mum and me, except it's not a matter of principal and more a matter of empirical observation.
If she likes a particular film, book or piece of music I'm pretty much guaranteed to dislike it, and vice versa. We have the least-overlapping tastes possible.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:47, archived)

Kill Switch, written by William Gibson was one of my favourites.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 22:03, archived)

Haven't seen that one, but if it's got William Gibson's pen behind it I am totally watching it in the very near future.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 22:14, archived)

sick kid, heavy rain, unwelcome house guest
and Poland out of the world cup
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:24, archived)

Less successful weekending here.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:30, archived)

I've set the bar pretty low

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:55, archived)

It's match day boys.
One step closer to bringing that trophy home. Fuck Panama! Might go day drinking in spoons and kick off.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 24 Jun 2018, 9:10, archived)

sounds like a plan
I'm in
(

$$ ✅, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 9:21, archived)

~~sounds like~~ + A man
~~I'm in~~ + a canal, Panama
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 9:26, archived)

That means my garden will be full of drunken arseholes later

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 9:29, archived)

How come? You live in a spoons?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 24 Jun 2018, 9:30, archived)

Communal garden
I don't mind the neighbour, but his mates are wankers and the police usually end up being called
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:00, archived)

Sounds like a great way to enjoy a quiet Sunday afternoon.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:15, archived)

Might just go down the beach

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:27, archived)

It's a beautiful sunny day and I'm going on a long cycle ride with a couple of mates.
20 km out, stop for a pint in a country pub, then 20 km back. Luverly.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:17, archived)

that's barely 2hrs of cycling, you wuss

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:33, archived)

The objective here is to get outside and enjoy the sunshine and the scenery,
not to train for the Paris-Roubaix.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 12:19, archived)

I got called a wanker by a cyclist yesterday.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:49, archived)

that was me m8

(

$$ ✅, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:56, archived)

Have you tried not being a wanker?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 13:24, archived)

Tinted windows m8, then they won't be able to see.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 15:19, archived)

Morning all.
Spent 5 hours in A+E this morning after walking through a suddenly appearing plate glass window/door.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:38, archived)

You doofus

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:41, archived)

Were you in a 1980's car chase?

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:44, archived)

If only.
I was a little the worse for wear and someone decided to close this suspiciously clean door, which I confidently marched through without breaking stride. Got away with it in large part, however I've taken a huge strip of skin off my left index finger. Might still be bleeding. Could have been worse I suppose.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:52, archived)

Definitely
In an omen 2 kind of way
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 11:12, archived)

A friend of
mine fell over backwards on new years eve a few years ago and put his hand on a pint glass. It shattered and tore a hole through his wrist. Luckily because it was news years eve there were paramedics or in the street and he got seen very quickly. Nearly died.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 24 Jun 2018, 14:06, archived)

jesus
he was lucky
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 15:42, archived)

He's now got a bastard
great scar on that wrist, quite awkward for him cause it looks like he's tried to kill himself. Unfortunately he's not really the type for bracelets/bangles/jewellery in general so it's out there. Still, quite nice to not die.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 24 Jun 2018, 16:39, archived)

i got a harry potter-looking scar on my forehead
from hitting a windscreen
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 17:08, archived)

"yur a bollard, Harry"

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 21:04, archived)

I've gone for 6 goals at 18 to 1, come on engerrrrrrrland

(

mongychops, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:46, archived)

Smash it

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:50, archived)

I hope we wipe the floor with them
belguim are going to be tough as shit
(

$$ ✅, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:56, archived)

Yeah they looked good

(

mongychops, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 10:59, archived)

nearly 6 in the first half

(

$$ ✅, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 13:57, archived)

Great , somebody was due a tonking

(

mongychops, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 15:13, archived)

#tonk

(

manolith hooray for me, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 15:37, archived)

they're on 6 now, just replaced Kane, you might get lucky here mongy

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 14:26, archived)

Nope, load of wank, still good game

(

mongychops, Sun 24 Jun 2018, 15:12, archived)

Come on Sweden!!
(and that's not a euphemism!)
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 20:00, archived)

Think I'm already out

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 20:38, archived)

of come?

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 20:42, archived)

Silly person
Tunisia got beat today, didn't they?
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 20:44, archived)

Better luck next time

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 20:48, archived)

fuck
those germans are lucky bastards
(

$$ ✅, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 20:57, archived)

Shocking , they deserved it, the Swedes had everyone back for ages, but I m still feeling bad for them

(

mongychops, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 21:41, archived)

they were tenacious but I wanted to see them knocked out

(

$$ ✅, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 21:49, archived)

I just done a honking shite in a pub toilet.
Apparently it was the ladies, oops.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 23:08, archived)

Absolute unit.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 23:16, archived)

Me and the missus paid a visit to the oxo tower.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 16:04, archived)

why?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 16:05, archived)

It has a wonderful history

(

mongychops, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 16:57, archived)

*googles*
*adds to list of places to wait out the zombie apocalypse*
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 17:28, archived)

Exhibition of work by University design students (daughter of a friend had some dresses on show).
Didn't actually go up the tower, so the euphemism falls a bit flat.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 17:49, archived)

that's what she said

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 18:05, archived)

Haven't heard that euphemism in a while.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 16:21, archived)

Disgusting

(

mongychops, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 16:55, archived)

It's a bit uncouth to brag about that online

(

$$ ✅, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 17:08, archived)

morning

(

mongychops, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 8:07, archived)

Just call me angel of the morning, (angel)
Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby
Just call me angel of the morning, (angel)
Then slowly turn away from me
(wankywankywankwank wankywankywankwank, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 8:30, archived)

What I particularly enjoyed
about this post was reading your username as part of the lyrics.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 23 Jun 2018, 14:06, archived)

I missed the Serbia Switzerland game, was it any good?

(

$$ ✅, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 8:35, archived)

Yeah it's was alright, terrible defending for the late swiss goal but a great run and finish

(

mongychops, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 8:39, archived)

Morning
Lovely lie in this morning
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 9:03, archived)

I was up at 6

(

mongychops, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 9:05, archived)

My alarm went off at 6.30
But it got fucked right off till 8
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 9:08, archived)

My brain decided to amuse itself at my expense this morning
by dreaming its own cinematographic interpretation of The Exorcist, complete with sexual abuse from priests, exploding household appliances and authentic lashings of that pervasive damp and sordid 1970s dread.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 9:12, archived)

I have lots of zombie movie dreams
They're always fun.
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 9:21, archived)

I had a zombie apocalypse dream.
Was trying to get my family to the relative safety of a fortified country home - made it inside, but got bitten doing so and found I had lamprey fingers.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 10:01, archived)

That made me do a proper lol
I've had dreams where I'm a virologist but my family don't know. The zombie apocalypse happens and we all get taken to a secret bunker, where I try to come up with a cure. Usually the whole thing has started because one of my colleagues has been fucking about with programmable viruses
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 10:44, archived)

My dream just convinced me that I wouldn't last long in the event of an actual zombie outbreak.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 11:36, archived)

I think i'd do quite well

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 12:10, archived)

Now I want a fish finger sandwich.

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 23 Jun 2018, 14:11, archived)

still, better that than bumming your dad, eh?

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 14:56, archived)

Smashing in some undead geezer's face was fairly traumatic,
but still preferable to smashing in the old man's back door.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 16:02, archived)

Morning.
Heading to London, again. Who wants to join me on the Brexit march?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 10:03, archived)

No ta

(

mongychops, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 10:11, archived)

C'mon - you could stand on the sidelines and yell "traitors" at the demonstrators.
I'm actually going in for unrelated reasons, and no doubt this political upheaval will interfere with my travel plans.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 10:21, archived)

any fanny going?

(

$$ ✅, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 11:48, archived)

Well, I'm a massive fanny,
but I'm not actually going, so who knows?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 11:57, archived)

viz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Screen-Shot-2014-10-20-at-18.08.57.png
(

mongychops, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 12:19, archived)

i love that sid the sexist is in that one

(

$$ ✅, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 12:22, archived)

morning

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 13:50, archived)

You better have a note for lateness

(

mongychops, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 13:55, archived)

yes miss chops

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 14:57, archived)

Stomach ache and cramps no doubt

(

mongychops, Sat 23 Jun 2018, 15:12, archived)

alright

(

mongychops, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 20:35, archived)

Yeah
Just about to lock myself in for the night
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 20:43, archived)

Paint yourself in to a corner

(

mongychops, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:01, archived)

I have no paint

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:16, archived)

use human blood
it's readily available
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 22:50, archived)

Great idea, who doesn't love a lock-in?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:32, archived)

The police

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:39, archived)

FUK DA POLICE

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 22:20, archived)

No, everyone is a cunt

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 20:46, archived)

I know I am

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 20:59, archived)

Shut up

(

mongychops, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:04, archived)

sorry mongy, it's just I've had a bad day and I want to sack the person whose fault it is but the others say I'm not allowed to :(

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:10, archived)

fuck it, I've had a couple of beers on top now and I've decided. First thing on Monday I'm telling her she's sacked.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:39, archived)

Take the bitch to town

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:40, archived)

Do you reckon they do a 'sorry I'm sacking you' card?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:42, archived)

If they don't, they should

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 22:10, archived)

how about a 'sorry you were so shit I had to sack you and good luck with your messy divorce'?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 22:49, archived)

Right I'm trying to calm myself down so I've downed half a bottle of port and gone on one of those online cam things. There's a list of what the model does and how much it costs.
My question is what the fuck is 'spam ass' and is it worth 52 tokens?
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:08, archived)

are you sure it's not spank ass?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:13, archived)

It definitely says 'spam ass'.
'spank ass' makes no sense, how the fuck is she supposed to spank my ass over the internet?
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:14, archived)

Blotchy buttocks

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:26, archived)

For 52 tokens, she will insert a full can of Spam into her rectal cavity for your viewing entertainment.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:28, archived)

that's what I was hoping

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:38, archived)

See? NSFW btw
ibb.co/efN8X8
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 23:01, archived)

alright mongy

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 22:22, archived)

dun pissed in the kitchen sink
AMA
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 22:43, archived)

How long before you whizz on the electric fence?

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 22:45, archived)

sry, out of piss

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 22:47, archived)

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