I like it :)It also makes me question again if God made man in His own image but didn't make woman, why on Earth did He give us a dick?
The answers are, of course:
1) To wank with
2) Adam was given the job of naming all the animals, since apparently God ran out of ideas after the seventeen hundredth dinosaur. This is a big job and there was a section of Eden left as sand for Adam to inscribe his names with. For ceremonial reasons, this had to be done with something produced by Adam himself. Thinking economically, God told Adam to build his encyclopedia of animal names with urine, and equipped him with a handily aimable penis.
This still leaves us with the question of testicles, however, to which the simplest answer is 'God made Himself with testicles. He realised that this was a rubbish idea the first time a stegosaurus headbutted him in the balls, so when He came to create man he took out his anger and aggravation on us. Rather than improve on His original design He ensured that we, too, would suffer.'
(The answers are, of course:
1) To wank with
2) Adam was given the job of naming all the animals, since apparently God ran out of ideas after the seventeen hundredth dinosaur. This is a big job and there was a section of Eden left as sand for Adam to inscribe his names with. For ceremonial reasons, this had to be done with something produced by Adam himself. Thinking economically, God told Adam to build his encyclopedia of animal names with urine, and equipped him with a handily aimable penis.
This still leaves us with the question of testicles, however, to which the simplest answer is 'God made Himself with testicles. He realised that this was a rubbish idea the first time a stegosaurus headbutted him in the balls, so when He came to create man he took out his anger and aggravation on us. Rather than improve on His original design He ensured that we, too, would suffer.'
boris the spider,
Tue 25 May 2010, 17:32,
archived)
yes. yes, i am.but i appear to be suggesting that god is sans penis but avec balls.
i'm not sure i thought this thesis through very clearly, but it might explain why He was in such a shitty temper through most of the old testament.
(i'm not sure i thought this thesis through very clearly, but it might explain why He was in such a shitty temper through most of the old testament.
boris the spider,
Tue 25 May 2010, 17:35,
archived)
ya know...Your theory actually explains a lot about God.
Well done! :)
(,
Tue 25 May 2010, 17:37,
archived)
Well done! :)
Imagine the frustration of it!By the time Jonah was in the whale God's balls would have been the size of mountains! No wonder He was so keen to have a son.
( boris the spider,
Tue 25 May 2010, 17:39,
archived)
hmm, if god has nadsand god is everywhere, does that mean we're all inside god's nads?
(
Damocles wants no part of your debauchery,
Tue 25 May 2010, 18:47,
archived)